Infertility: Where Is God When You Can’t Get Pregnant?

Where-is-God-when-you-cant-get-pregnant

We all know that labor hurts. But what most people don’t know is: infertility hurts too. It’s not the loud, screaming kind of pain. It’s long, and slow, and quiet. It’s a different kind of labor altogether. A labor of the soul.

It happens when you toss another negative pregnancy test in the trash can and sit on your bathroom floor and cry.

It happens when you lay in your bed at night, and your husband holds you as you stare into the darkness, while silent tears fall into your pillow.

It happens when you sit at a baby shower and hear all the “Ooh’s” and “Aah’s” over every little, tiny gift, and wonder if you will ever have any little, tiny gifts of your own to open?

It happens when you look in the mirror at your flat stomach, and put your hand over it, and pray for life to grow. And try to imagine what it would look like, what it would feel like, if it did?

It happens when you see teenagers pushing strollers past your house. And when the minivan full of children opens it’s doors. And when a friend says they had another “oopsies” pregnancy. And you wonder: Why is this so easy for everyone else? Except us?

Click here to finish reading this article at Thriving Home Blog where I have had the honor of being featured as a guest blogger by Polly and Rachel of Thriving Home.

15 thoughts on “Infertility: Where Is God When You Can’t Get Pregnant?

  1. Well, after 3 years of struggling with infertility, I thought this cycle was panning out to be different. Unfortunately, all the signs I thought I was seeing didn’t mean anything and the hope for a pregnancy went out the window. While I have disappointment at the outcome, the Lord has been so gracious to me through this in helping me worship and rejoice in Him no matter what. I don’t know if I will ever get pregnant, but I have surrendered it to the Lord and will rest and trust in Him, because He is worthy and has already been SO good to me. This post was such an encouragement to me, in the midst of this disappointment. It’s incredibly uplifting to see someone explain exactly what this feels like. Thank you for your gracious and love-filled words. It did my heart much good today.

    God Bless,

    Jennifer

    • Jennifer,
      I cannot begin to tell you how touched I am by what you’ve shared. I know that feeling well, along with all the wondering of what the future holds. Of what God is doing. But as I hear you speak with surrender, and gratitude, it sounds like God is birthing something quite beautiful in you, even now. I am so sorry for the difficulty you’ve had to endure, but I love that you are worshipping with your hands open, and your heart open. You are so precious to Him, your life is so precious to Him. And you are a beautiful offering! I pray God strengthens you now, and gives you endurance, and much joy, even in unexpected places, and that springs of living water may flow from your soul, and quench you, as you abide in Him. I am so excited about how He will fulfill His purpose for you. I am confident He has a unique calling on you. Keep walking, He will unfold it in His perfect time. You are a precious daughter. He loves you more than can be fathomed, and I just pray He holds you closer than ever right now, as you wait on Him. He will not fail or forsake you.
      Much love,
      Rebekah

  2. Beautiful. Thank you so much. I was already obsessed with your blog and then this…. I love it even more now. (I am not a blog-reader. The only ones I have bookmarked are Barren to Beautiful and my best friend’s.). This post ministered to me like crazy & I pray that it will help many other people in the struggle of infertility. I love that there’s no false assurance that if you do X, then God will definitely give you a baby. But there’s the much more beautiful promise that if you seek God, He will give you what you need most: Him.

    • Jessica,
      I am so happy to hear that this ministered to you! I remember so well exactly how I felt walking this road, and though we don’t know where it leads, we can be sure it leads to Him. And that really is the best part. I pray He continues to minister to your heart in the way that only He can, and that He strengthens you with peace and joy and His nearness continually! I am excited for you, because I know as you abide in Him, you will bear fruit, no matter what it looks like. And I’m so glad that you picked up on the fact that there’s not some grand formula God wants us to figure out! He just wants all of your heart, and He wants to give you all Himself, too. During our struggle with infertility, I sometimes thought, “If I just have more faith, God will give me a baby!” It sounds silly to say out loud, but sometimes that logic came into my mind. Although faith is a big part of this journey, I felt the Lord showing me that it wasn’t that I needed MORE faith, then He would give me a baby. It was that I needed more faith to trust Him, whether or not He ever gave me a baby. And that kind of faith is in surrender. You are so precious to Him, and just know that you are not overlooked or forgotten. Thank you so much for commenting, and thank you also for reading! I really appreciate your kind words!!
      Much love,
      Rebekah:)

  3. Thank you for the encouragement. You’ve helped remind me that God knows what is best for me. I’m way past child bearing age but there are other struggles in my life that affect me in the way I identified with your frustration and grief in not being able to conceive. So this is three days in a row God has used someone to remind me He is in control and I need to just hang on for the ride.

    • Stacy,
      It is amazing how God speaks to us, and I am so glad that He spoke to you through this! I pray He continues to lead you to that place of quietness and trust, as you rest in Him and His ability to lead your life. May every anxiety and fear that you have be entirely swallowed up in His peace, since He has already overcome them all . Much love and grace,
      Rebekah

      Isaiah 54:11 “O afflicted one, storm-tossed and not comforted, behold, I will set your stones in antimony,and lay your foundations with sapphires.”

    • Bonnie, I’m so glad that you were touched by it. May God uphold you, and show you how close He really is. And may He continue to encourage your heart and give you strength, exactly when you need it.
      Blessings,
      Rebekah

  4. Pingback: When the Barren Sing | Barren to Beautiful

  5. Its been 4 years and time after time ive been throigh so many negative pregnancy test. I hate that i have gone to God and i seem to always be given his back. I am not perfect. This year we have been trying again. I have not been in any type of connection with God for about 2 years. Tonight i was looking through the internet and i was searching different fertility treatments and wow. They are so expensive. The type of income that isnt in our budget. Then i just gave up. Im awake its 2:27 am again another night just thibking about why! Why me ! Why cant i be the one who conceives. I have seen so many old friends who just have one after another. My heart melts and i just cry as i see them and hold them. Every single person i meet tells me you would make a great mother ! You’re so patient and know exactly what to do and say. And i juat sit there like thanks but never gonna happen. Then, once again i feel alone and just google “God what do i do!!!!!!! I want to get pregnant and i cant. Im crying ” and i see this. I promise i was just gonna close down the app but i clicked on your article. I shed tears while my husband lies in bed in such peace asleep… I feel like God has spoken to me. I just dont know if i am ready to give it all up. I want to be one with God. But I’ve never had a mother nor a father. I have always wanted to see them. Know who and what they are. I feel that my life is so incomplete even though i have everything i need. I believe in God… I pray that he works in me…

    • Oh sweet sister, I pray God draws you closer and closer to know Him more. I am so sorry for all the pain you have experienced in your heart and soul. Not only in infertility, but also, in not knowing your mother or father. There is a verse in the Bible that says, “For though my father and my mother have forsaken me, the LORD will take me up.” Psalm 27:10 God made you and loves you, and you do not have to be perfect. NONE of us are! I hope God gives you the baby you so long for, but even more I pray you know Him and know His deep love for you. I believe He led you here on purpose, and He wants to rescue you from despair. Do you know any Christians, or do you go to a church? I was just wondering if you have anyone in your life who brings you encouragement or hope? My heart goes out to you! May God refresh your hope, and water your weary soul. And may He open your eyes to Him. He really sees you and loves you. He will work out His perfect plan for your life in His time and in His way. Please let me know if you have questions about who God is. Or you can communicate with me via my “Barren to Beautiful” facebook page as well. xo, Rebekah

  6. Every sentence of your article brought tears in my eyes. I can feel each and every word just because i am going through it now.. but trust me, i feel a bit relaxed amd hopeful. Thanks for that wonderful article!!

  7. May God bless you abundantly for your transparency and words of godly wisdom! I found this blog on the Thriving Home blog and was blessed beyond measure. Through rivers of tears and reading it several times, I have realized that this season of ttc has become my god, when my God is waiting with open arms for me to climb in His lap in surrender and worship Him in spite of my current season. Thank you so much for being obedient to God and releasing what He has placed on your heart. What a blessing!

    • Monica, your response gave me chills. Amen, sister. You understand perfectly what I am saying. It’s all about Him! Much love. May He satisfy you more than you ever imagined! love, Rebekah

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