Why God Took So Long To Give Me A Baby

God gave me you

I was painting in the garage, and she was drawing a rainbow on the cement floor with chalk when she said, “I’m glad God gave you to me as my Mommy.”

I wasn’t ready for it. “What?” I asked, making sure I heard her right. She tried to say it again, but her words came out a little more awkward this time, and she said something like, “I’m happy your’e my mommy from God.”

Tears filled my eyes.

Then she prayed, “God, thank you for giving my mommy to me. And thank you (I couldn’t understand this part.) And thank you, she makes me breakfast. And thank you we’re going to make pumpkin spagotti (biscotti). I hope it tastes good. Do you think it will taste good, God?”

Then she opened her eyes, and went back to drawing her chalk mural–while my eyes blurred with tears, and a huge lump came to my throat. Where did that come from?

She’s three…and I didn’t know her little heart could hold such gratitude. Or that it would just burst out of her, during this subtle moment in the garage. Or that she would thank God, outloud, for me, right then.

Usually, she doesn’t even want to pray out loud–even with me encouraging her.  But today she felt something inside her.

Something beautiful.

Her little heart can hold more love than I often know.

Her little mind…is not so little as I think it is. She thinks far beyond what I would expect.

“Thank you, Selah,” I said, smiling. “I’m so glad God gave me you as my daughter.”

I would have hugged her right then, if my hands didn’t have white paint on them, and if there wasn’t so much junk between us on the floor. The drawers I was painting, and an old wooden chair.

“Did you have to wait a long time for me Mom?” she asked. (I have told her the story many times, but she wanted to hear it again.)

I stepped across the junk on the floor and came a little closer to her. “Yes,” I said. “I asked God for a baby over and over again. But He didn’t give me one for a long time.”

“And when me and Daddy found out you were in my tummy, we were so happy!” I told her.

“Do you know why God took so long to give you a baby?” she said.

“No, honey,” I said. “I don’t know.”

“I know why,” she said.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because…He was making me,” she said.

He was making me.

I looked into her deep blue eyes, that seemed to know something from another world, and her blonde tossled hair russled in the breeze. And in that moment, she seemed a thousand years old.

He was making me. 

And that answer was enough. And my heart resounded with the truth of it, “Of course He was. Of course, that’s exactly what He was doing, Dear One.”

Because now that I know her, and know how special she is–it only makes sense, that it took so long. I don’t know what God was doing with her up there. There is just something about her, that seems as if she spent a long time on God’s chest before coming to mine. Almost as if heaven didn’t want to give her up.

Selah. 

And I say this with tears, to you, barren ones…

Who are waiting for your baby prayers to be answered.

Who are praying every day for God to give you a baby. To give you life.

I don’t know why it’s taking so long. 

I don’t know if He will give you a child through your womb, or through foster care, or adoption.

But either way…if you are waiting right now, and you don’t know why it’s taking so long.

Maybe it’s because God, the Maker and Giver of Life and every living thing…is still in the process of making your baby.

We can’t even begin to comprehend what is happening in the heavenlies, in the unseen, and what, or who He is forming. 

His ways are not like ours. His timing is not like ours.

And perhaps if He’s moving so slowly, and He’s taking so long… It’s because He’s forming something so breathtaking and beautiful…it cannot be rushed.

He is in the process of forming a masterpiece. 

And maybe one day, a little masterpiece will stand before you and say, “I know why God took so long to give you a baby.”

And you will say, “Why?”

And they will say,

“Because…

He was making me.” 

103 thoughts on “Why God Took So Long To Give Me A Baby

    • You’ve clearly never suffered through infertility and can not relate or you wouldn’t be chiming in…best to keep your negative opinions to yourself.

    • Disagree with you, Cheryl. Our bodies were designed to be perfectly made in God’s image. God didn’t intend for us to settle for anything less than the ALL He made us to be. He designed us to be reborn, to rise from the illusion of imperfection that we ourselves condemned ourselves to be.

  1. Loved this! I didn’t have my beautiful daughter until I was 38! And then she was born with a heart defect incompatible with life. I had asked God to never let me forget that she was a miracle. At 27, the only indication of that heart defect is a white scar that runs across her chest right under her breasts and looks like a “running M” brand when she looks down on it and 3 little white crosses. Her miracle brand. After she was born, I finally realized that she wouldn’t be the same child if she had been conceived during the 5 barren years–different sperm, different ova, carrying different DNA. So I became grateful for the hard, barren years. I, too, think that when you gaze into a baby’s eyes you can see the wisdom of heaven. They know what their Creator looks like. They know His voice. So sad that they forget as we teach them the earth’s knowledge and skills.

  2. This was so beautiful and touching !! So beautiful I thank the Lord and Praise His Holy Name for my two kids through all the miscarriages that I went through and Doctor’s telling me that I couldn’t have any I look at my life and remember me telling the doctor I understand that is your opinion but I have a God who created the Heavens and the Earth If he wants me to have a baby I will and he did Bless me with two little ones who are both adults !! This really blessed me!

  3. If you never have a baby God is enough if you allow Him to be. I wanted children I wanted marriage. I did not marry until I was in my mid forties.i spent my career working with other people’s children. There have been times when I have grieved but through God’s grace I have made it through.

    • You make a great point here. This is something that I think every barren woman needs to come to–even if you don’t get to have a baby–God is enough. In my post “About My Barreness” I talk about this very thing. I remember coming to a place where, even if I didn’t get what I wanted, I realized it was good, and God was enough. He truly is the one who satisfies us in this life, and the next. It is wonderful when He does a miracle and gives us a child, but if He doesn’t, He has some better plan, and He is always enough. Much love,
      Rebekah

  4. Thank you so much Rebekah for sharing your story. It is so beautiful & touching. I’ll be sharing your story with my pals who are still waiting for a baby. Sending my love to you & your family from Singapore 🙂

  5. I was once barren. I only have two children: one is the child of the womb, the other is the child of the heart. I married late in life, and went through a few years of infertility and miscarriages. Those were difficult years. However, not as bad as what we’re going through right now, mind you. Back then I had no idea why it wasn’t happening. But then my womb opened up, although I only had a small window that closed right after my first born. Life is interesting. My children are 7 1/2 years apart. I have only recently come to realize why most of it happened: God gave me time to be the mom that each one needed while growing up. We won’t have all the answers we so desperately need in this life, we are walking through fog in faith. But we have enough answers to guide us to where we want to go. The light is always on, we just need to look up and follow. In faith.

    • Thanks so much for sharing your story. That is amazing, and you are right that God always has a purpose for doing things the way He does. And He always shows us enough to know at least what the next step is. Life is such a journey of trusting Him through those unknown times. Much love to you!
      Rebekah

  6. This brought me to tears, so many happy tears! It does not apply to me in the same way, but it still touched me in a very profound way. I didn’t have my baby until I was 41, not because I couldn’t, but because I waited to find the perfect daddy for her! That was so very important to me. In fact, when we were ready, we got pregnant on our first try, because God was finally ready for me to be a mommy, and he was all done “making her”. This was one of the most beautiful stories I have read…thank you so much for sharing❤️

  7. Pingback: I didn’t come this far, to only come this far – Finding Joy in the Journey

  8. God bless you Rebekah! Your stories are so beautiful, filled with so much truth, and you write so well. Im reading from Abuja, Nigeria.

  9. Thank you for this blog, I was searching on google.. and I clicked the link and it was just what i needed…. hope. Thank you and god bless

  10. Pingback: My 3-Yr-Old Asked You Know Why God Took So Long to Give You a Baby?Then She Said I Know Why

  11. Rebekah, The Lord used this today, 12/12/2016 to give me a fresh hope. Thank you for your heartfelt words and your beautiful insight. I have two daughters, one has gone on to be with the Lord. I didn’t think I wanted any more children after they were born so I had a tubal ligation in 2000 after the birth of my second child. In 2013 when my 14 year old died, it became almost an obsession to be a mother again. I have had people prophecy over me that The Lord would bless me with more children. I am just waiting. This blog really gave me comfort about the wait. God Bless you and your beautiful (growing) family!

  12. I think it is so wonderful that you are teaching your little one about God. This must have been written last year. It says you were expecting a baby in December. I hope you and your little one are well. Thank you for sharing your daughter’s wisdom. From NC.

  13. This month is the last cycle of my infertility treatment and sadly my period came right on the dot. I feel devastated as I’ve already pictured in my mind and felt in my heart that my long wait is over. But clearly God has other plans. Plans that I don’t understand and I was demanding for answer then I saw your post on Facebook. Thank you Rebakah for reminding me that God’s plans are better than mine. For giving me renewed hope that one day my miracle will happen. Kisses to your lovely daughter and God bless your beautiful family.

  14. This was beautiful. It touched my heart! My daughter is going through infertility and it is breaking my heart. They have waited three years and just suffered a miscarriage, I pray that God blesses her soon.

    • Hi Annamarie,
      I am so sorry for your pain, your tears, your loneliness…
      i had six miscarriages… first the dr would tell me i was pregnant and by my next appointment nothing, no heartbeat, no baby. We tried infertility once and it was the only time i didn’t get pregnant… my husband and i gave up… too much pain… i could not longer look at pregnant ladies… going to the store and looking at all the babies and their mommies would just crushed me… we decided to stop trying and adopt instead… we would start looking into it after a trip to Hawaii… 2 months after the trip i found out i was pregnant… we were not ready… we didn’t plan it… we were afraid… we should not have been… my daughter was born 10 years ago… she’s my miracle baby… God ways are not our ways… Looking back, if my daughter had been born using the infertility treatment, my husband would have credited science / doctors for our baby (he is not Christian)
      furthermore, i remember vividly checking the calendar before we left for Hawaii, to make sure i would not be ovulating during my trip… the doctors never found out why i had miscarriages but i was told that my eggs were old and only a few left… so you see, God hears our prayers, he sees our tears… i do not know why you are still waiting but He does… Trust in Him… Don’t hate Him… He sees you… He loves you…

  15. thank you for sharing this. very touching. i have been happily married going on 6 years now in May. havent been able to conceive. we went to lots of different doctors to see what was going on. the last test done was the hysterosalpingography (study of the fallopian tubes). come to find out i will not be able to have any kids unless God does a miracle as my tubes are blocked. at times i have gone thru depression because when God gives us a word we believe it will go thru but we are humans and our faith at times is not at 100%. only the ones that have gone thru this or is going thru this can really explain how we feel. its difficult but i still believe God is going to give us a child! God bless u and your eautiful daughter. and God bless all the women that read this whom are struggling with infertility.

  16. hi Rebekah, I read this months ago when we were still trying for a baby and it really touched me. Fast forward to today when we found out that we’re blessed with not one, but two babies inside me and this entry made me tear up. Your little girl was so right. No wonder it took us 7 years to finally conceive.. it’s because God was busy making our babies. God bless you and your family. Thank you for sharing your story with us. <3

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