She charges into the roaring surf at the ocean. And wants to be pushed higher, and higher on the swings. She pets barking dogs. And scales the walls of her crib. She stands on the very edge of the kitchen chairs, like she’s ready to spring off a diving board. And during her bath, she dumps bucket after bucket of water on her head, drenching her face.
How did she come from me?
This dauntless creature?
Who screams louder than I did. Moves faster. Laughs harder. And jumps higher. (In her crib.)
Last week, I set her down in the store, and at once she ran to a giant “Back to School” display, grabbed a lunch box for each hand and charged down the aisle just like someone about to miss a flight (except, she was laughing hysterically.)
“Stop!” I’m yelling, “Come back!”
I snatch her up like a squealing pig, and whisper, “Shhh!” in her ear, trying hard not to laugh. But as I’m prying the Hello Kitty lunch boxes, like suitcases, from each of her hands, a wave of loss washes over my heart.
Don’t grow up, Baby Girl.
She’s only one and a half, but is already racing out of my arms the moment they swing open, like a derby horse out of the gate. And I know the day will come when she’s not just heading down an aisle at the store, but another aisle. Where she is dressed in a white flowing gown, and I stand by with streaming tears, and…a thousand tiny memories of her,
are suddenly awakened,
like a thousand butterflies put to flight.
Please, could I catch just one, to keep?
I want to pin her down forever. Right here. Like this. Where I can stroke her soft white-blonde hair, that curls when she wakes-up warm from a nap. And stare deep into her blue eyes, like two worlds. And to grab her skinny, squirming frame, and pull her close against me, if even for a moment. Could we just stay frozen like this forever?
But I can’t pin her down like a butterfly in a collection. And fragile as she seems, she was made to be free.
Free to fly.
My Darling Girl,
Sometimes, I fear what you will be. Where you will go. The adventures you will take. And the risk.
But if God has given you wings, I will teach you to fly.
To reach higher than me. Love deeper than me. Run harder than me. Stretch further. And be braver.
For when the world goes dark, your hands may need to strike the match and carry the torch. And when the Dragon invades, your bow may need to shoot the arrows into his heart. But don’t be afraid.
For your Rescuer, Jesus,
is coming back,
and coming soon,
for brave hearts longing for Him.
[I recently had the honor of being a guest blogger and submitting this piece for a wonderful blog called MomLife Now, which is written by an incredibly gifted writer and mother named Sasha, whom I believe you will love as much as I do.]