Stephanie’s Testimony: When God Grows Your Family His Own Way

It had been two and half years of trying. Praying. Hoping. Testing. And nothing to show for it.

We made an appointment, and found ourselves in the fertility specialist’s office, eager for answers. It was there we learned of the obstacles standing in our way. Endometriosis, and multiple cysts in each ovary. I immediately began crying, upset at this first revelation that my body was not as healthy as I had always imagined it to be. The doctor kindly scolded me, telling me that our situation was completely workable.

A few months later, I left his office after our first IUI. I should’ve felt excited at the possibility that this might bring about our first child, but I didn’t. I knew it wouldn’t work. It wasn’t that I felt hopeless about the treatments. But, I felt peaceless. This wasn’t the route God was calling us to.  A few weeks later, the negative test confirmed it.

I couldn’t shake the feeling that we were supposed to build our family a different way. On a cold December night, my husband and I were on a date, and somewhere between the appetizer and main course I mustered up the courage to tell him what had been crowding my thoughts for the past three days.

“I know you wanna keep trying the treatments, but… I wanna adopt.”

I expected him to be my cheerleader, telling me that maybe one or two treatments would be all it would take. After all, I knew he wanted “one of our own,” as people like to say.

But he didn’t. He put down his fork, looked me in the eye, and said, “Let’s do it.”

***

A month later we were sitting in a foster care meeting, feeling led by the Lord to take that risky route (where adoptions are possible only 40% of the time) rather than go through an agency where we’d be guaranteed a newborn.

Four months, several home inspections, and multiple interviews later, we received news that we passed the review board, and we were approved foster parents. We also learned right then that there was a seven-week old girl that needed a new home by Friday.

Of course, we said yes.

We brought that 8-pound bundle home two days later, called her Sweet Pea, and immediately began to pray that she’d become our forever daughter. We asked our friends to pray the same.

Thirteen months later, she did.

***

A month after the adoption, I had an afternoon of excruciating pain.  An appointment with the fertility specialist was booked for the following week.

After his examination, he took off his gloves, defeated.

I hesitated to ask the question, but needed to hear the answer.

“Last time we were here, you seemed so hopeful, so positive that you could help us… now it seems like you can’t?”

He looked me in the eye. “Look, I believe in miracles, but… no. I don’t think you’ll be able to get pregnant. There is just too much scarring. I wouldn’t even recommend in vitro at this point. The odds are just not there… if I were you, I’d think about having your ovaries removed sooner rather than later.”

***

The rest of the year was a mess of emotions, both extreme bliss that we had reached forever with Sweet Pea, and yet also a deep sadness as I struggled to accept the doctor’s diagnosis. Even though I didn’t feel confident in the treatments before, it hurt my heart to think I’d never carry a child inside of me.

Six months later, I began feeling terrible. I scolded myself, wondering how on earth I could ignore his advice when it had gotten so much worse in just a year and a half. How could I not believe it would continue to get worse? Maybe I should’ve had the surgery.

Christmas was coming, and with it, a trip to my parents house in California, 700 miles away. I felt very off, and on the car ride out, I let my husband know how I’d been feeling. Weak, tired, losing weight unintentionally, yet somehow, more bloated than ever.

Christmas Eve, I was watching my mom play with Sweet Pea on the floor, and my husband announced he was going to the store. I motioned him close so no one else would hear, then whispered, “Get a pregnancy test. I know it will be a waste of money, but…”

He smiled sympathetically, and an hour later he handed me the box. I went into the bathroom with not even a hint of enthusiasm, knowing it’d say negative as had all the dozens that came before it.

After testing, I stuck the cap back on and walked to the sink to lay it on the counter where I planned to give it the recommended two minutes. Instead, as I watched the little line work its way across the screen to show that it was working, immediately there was the darkest, clearest, most non-vague plus sign staring me down.

Was this really happening??

It was.

What a Christmas gift.

Seven and a half months later, I delivered a miracle.

That miracle just turned two, and big sister is now four. They are my daily reminders of God’s faithfulness and that He does not work on our timetable. Had we gotten pregnant when we originally planned, we would have never gone the foster route and we wouldn’t have our Sweet Pea. God orchestrated our approval on the exact day she became available, not by chance, but by His divine plan. We were meant to be her parents.

Three weeks before our biological daughter was born, God allowed us to move back to California, something we’d be praying and hoping for years. We lived with my parents that summer, which ended up being the biggest blessing as I had an emergency c-section followed by a really rough recovery. My mom was newly retired and available to take care of Sweet Pea 24/7 so I could focus on healing and our newborn. Looking back, it’s so evident all the ways God took care of us.

His timing really is perfect.  


God is so mysterious sometimes, espcially when He doesn’t answer the way we want Him to. But so often, that “mystery” we felt at the beginning is later replaced by God’s deep wisdom, as He had a plan all along. God is not anxious, and He always knows exactly what He’s doing, and why. To read more about Stephanie’s story, you can check out her blog, Thank You Infertility.

If you would like to share your testimony of how God has healed your womb, or how He has healed, or is healing your soul (whether or not you have a baby) please email me at [email protected] and check out the writer’s guidelines at “Want To Share Your Testimony?” You can also subscribe with your email address, or follow along on my Facebook Page.

Connie’s Testimony

This is a real picture of our friend Connie. Isn’t she beautiful–inside and out? 🙂

 

For the past two years, I have been on a new type of rollercoaster ride with so many moving parts and this has definitely challenged me in my faith. I felt like if I’m special to God, why haven’t I been blessed with children?

For a while, I didn’t plan to share this until I have reached success, but I feel like I’m finding more of us who are in a similar situation. We get married later in life, work on our careers, get to know ourselves better inside out, and then when we finally think, now is a good time to bring children into the world, we find it’s not as easy to conceive as we could have as teenagers. When people would scare and warn you that you can get pregnant at a drop of a hat.

Recently, I saw a friend’s sister on Instagram share her IVF journey and this inspired me. I’m sure my story will encourage someone out there, struggling between trusting God and “infertility.”

Although it hasn’t been easy, it has challenged my faith and trust in God. I have to say though, in each of our stressful situations, God is trying to show Him who He is to you. It’s all about His relationship to you. It’s trying to show Him a deeper part of how He loves you.

In my quiet times, I know there is a purpose for this waiting period until I am able to conceive. People have prayed for me and I have several confirmations that I will have biological children. Some days, I’m confident and hopeful, while some days, I’m focused on how my period cycles have been increasing in length, then how could I get pregnant? If I can’t even find the right window?

You see, God gave me seeds of hope and expectation. My job is to stay faithful and patient. My action? To rest, worship, and rejoice for how God will work behind the scenes in His appointed time.

I’m starting to realize that the enemy loves to rob me of my hope. He likes to come in and just mess with my patience.

How does he do that? Well, he works in the natural-what we can see, while God works in the supernatural- the unseen.

So for a good six months in 2016, I let anxiety push me. I let voices from my family, peers, society tell me I’m getting old beyond my fertility age. They summarized, “It will be too late.” Now!!!!

I rushed into seeing fertility specialists, going to see acupuncturists, and doing whatever I can so that I can be as “fertile” as possible. Let me say, I had no peace. My mind was spinning and there was no joy. I felt like this was a performance show, meeting everybody’s expectations to prove that I can be fruitful by own might. Basically what I put in, I will reap.

Most recently, IVF was popping up around me in different avenues. I was curious but completely uncomfortable to my core about the process. I just knew that I physically didn’t feel good after trying several IUI’s and didn’t want to go through another intense process. I know God can work through doctors, but for us, He was clearly showing us not to go this route.

Recently, I read a book and it mentioned about how Sarah (Abraham’s wife in the Bible) took control of the situation when she and Abraham were promised a child and they didn’t conceive. She lost patience and a child was born out of their own will, not God’s plan. This decision affected the generations after.

You see, this was what I was doing. Knowing God’s promise personally for my situtation, yet I tried to conceive by my own control. I would surrender and then I take back my anxiety. I surrender and I take back again…and again…

Well today, I know that my blessing will come. It’s only a matter of time. I have to guard my heart to hold onto God’s promises and not waiver. I have to be deliberate about surrendering my anxious thoughts daily.

I appreciate any prayers and support. Thanks for all who have already been my cheerleaders. 

To be continued…

–Connie

Photo credit: Liz Franco Photography


Connie, I’m in tears as I read your journey through the past few years, your battle between desiring God’s work in your life and also wanting your desires to be met in some sort of time frame that is close. Thank you so much for sharing, as many women are currently in this place, and not many are as courageous, to share their raw emotions and bare their hearts. It is obvious how God is working in you. We’re cheering for you, and praying for you!

If you would like to share your testimony of how God has healed your womb, or how He has healed, or is healing your soul (whether or not you have a baby) please email me at [email protected] and check out the writer’s guidelines at “Want To Share Your Testimony?” I feature a Testimony each Tuesday, you can also subscribe with your email address, or follow along on my Facebook Page.

Adrie’s Testimony: When Dreams Come True

As I am writing this, I get to stare at my now almost four year old miracle baby daughter. A daughter that was not suppose to be here without struggling to concieve. But God’s timing and miracle’s are beyond human comprehension…

You see, I suffer from PCOS and rarely have regular periods. When I was diagnosed, I was told that it would be difficult for me to conceive, if at all possible. The doctor told me that we would have to try fertility treatments when we are ready to start trying for a baby.

When my husband and I got engaged, I told him that he has to be sure that he wants to marry me if chances are good that I might not be able to bare a child. He made peace and ensured me that he will be okay if we don’t get pregnant. It always bothered me until one day I prayed to the Lord and said that, I now give it over to him completely. I am no longer going to worry about it or feel saddened by it.

We did get married and I was on contraceptives to try and ease my PCOS  related symptoms. We decided that we would go on a fertility treatment one year after marriage. Four months after we got married, I had a dream. In my dream I was given the words: “Nothing is impossible to God.” In my dream, I saw my toddler daughter named Mea. When I woke up, I truly believed I was pregnant. I did a test and it was negative. (Remember, I was still on contraceptives). Despite this, I still was convinced that I was pregnant. I decided to take another test the following day. There was a faint second line on the stick. My brain was telling me one thing–and my heart something else. It simply was not possible.

I then Googled the words given to me in my dream and learned that it was in fact Luke 1:37! (For nothing will be impossible with God.” Luke 1:37) I called my husband and we went to our doctor. He was also very skeptical and said that the sonar does show that it looks like I ovulated, but we must not get our hopes up and come back in two weeks time.

Two weeks passed and we were back at the doctor. Then the sonar did show our little miracle! Everything was not smooth sailing, as I had a threatening miscarriage early on. Thanks to a miracle working God and a wonderful doctor, our baby carried through and we had no severe further complications. When the sonar eventually confirmed the baby’s sex, I knew what her name was suppose to be.

We decided to name her Mea-Lemé. Our pastor told us to search for the meaning of her name because it will mean something. To our surprise, or rather amazement, Mea means work of the Lord, to bitterly desire something, deeply hoped for child, daughter, mine. How faithful is our God? Our beautiful blue-eyed blonde girl truly is our greatest blessing and we thank God for her each day. Even though we might not have another, we leave that up to the Lord. To all the women out there, stay positive. Let go and let God!

–Adrie


I am in awe of God. Thank you so much for sharing your story Adrie, and I think so many women who read these testimonies can relate to what you’ve been through, not only with your struggle in dealing with PCOS, but also in longing, yearning to be pregnant, then praying to carry to term, a healthy and happy baby. What a beautiful story! Adrie, you’re so brave to share with us!

If you would like to share your testimony of how God has healed your womb, or how He has healed, or is healing your soul (whether or not you have a baby) please email me at [email protected] and check out the writer’s guidelines at “Want To Share Your Testimony?” I feature a Testimony each Tuesday, you can also subscribe with your email address, or follow along on my Facebook Page.

Photo by Daniela Rey on Unsplash

Adrie’s Testimony

As I am writing this, I get to stare at my now almost four year old miracle baby daughter. A daughter that was not suppose to be here without struggling to concieve. But God’s timing and miracle’s are beyond human comprehension…

You see, I suffer from PCOS and rarely have regular periods. When I was diagnosed, I was told that it would be difficult for me to conceive, if at all possible. The doctor told me that we would have to try fertility treatments when we are ready to start trying for a baby.

When my husband and I got engaged, I told him that he has to be sure that he wants to marry me if chances are good that I might not be able to bare a child. He made peace and ensured me that he will be okay if we don’t get pregnant. It always bothered me until one day I prayed to the Lord and said that, I now give it over to him completely. I am no longer going to worry about it or feel saddened by it.

We did get married and I was on contraceptives to try and ease my PCOS  related symptoms. We decided that we would go on a fertility treatment one year after marriage. Four months after we got married, I had a dream. In my dream I was given the words: “Nothing is impossible to God.” In my dream, I saw my toddler daughter named Mea. When I woke up, I truly believed I was pregnant. I did a test and it was negative. (Remember, I was still on contraceptives). Despite this, I still was convinced that I was pregnant. I decided to take another test the following day. There was a faint second line on the stick. My brain was telling me one thing–and my heart something else. It simply was not possible.

I then Googled the words given to me in my dream and learned that it was in fact Luke 1:37! (For nothing will be impossible with God.” Luke 1:37) I called my husband and we went to our doctor. He was also very skeptical and said that the sonar does show that it looks like I ovulated, but we must not get our hopes up and come back in two weeks time.

Two weeks passed and we were back at the doctor. Then the sonar did show our little miracle! Everything was not smooth sailing, as I had a threatening miscarriage early on. Thanks to a miracle working God and a wonderful doctor, our baby carried through and we had no severe further complications. When the sonar eventually confirmed the baby’s sex, I knew what her name was suppose to be.

We decided to name her Mea-Lemé. Our pastor told us to search for the meaning of her name because it will mean something. To our surprise, or rather amazement, Mea means work of the Lord, to bitterly desire something, deeply hoped for child, daughter, mine. How faithful is our God? Our beautiful blue-eyed blonde girl truly is our greatest blessing and we thank God for her each day. Even though we might not have another, we leave that up to the Lord. To all the women out there, stay positive. Let go and let God!

–Adrie


I am in awe of God. Thank you so much for sharing your story Adrie, and I think so many women who read these testimonies can relate to what you’ve been through, not only with your struggle in dealing with PCOS, but also in longing, yearning to be pregnant, then praying to carry to term, a healthy and happy baby. What a beautiful story! Adrie, you’re so brave to share with us!

If you would like to share your testimony of how God has healed your womb, or how He has healed, or is healing your soul (whether or not you have a baby) please email me at [email protected] and check out the writer’s guidelines at “Want To Share Your Testimony?” I feature a Testimony each Tuesday, you can also subscribe with your email address, or follow along on my Facebook Page.

Photo by Daniela Rey on Unsplash

Stacie’s Testimony

When my husband and I made the decision to start trying for a family I thought it would be easy. According to my plan and timing. I took getting pregnant for granted, my sister got pregnant right away so I thought I would too, but…

GOD’S WAY IS BEST!

As the weeks turned into months I realized our story would look different than what I planned…what I dreamed. Every holiday thinking of ways to tell our parents, or what the next holiday would look like with a baby. But as the months turned into years, I saw the Lord withholding…molding…. changing…healing. Giving me life in a different way that I ever dreamed and I would not want it to be different because…

GOD’S WAY IS BEST!

After the first year of trying and not conceiving, my husband and I started looking into adoption. Adoption was always something that the Lord had put on our hearts. We found an organization that we really liked, that we were interested in moving forward with. When the time came to start the classes, we had to back out because of finances. My husband just started grad school, so there was no way we could move forward with the process financially right now (we really hope to someday). I had to remember…

GOD’S WAY IS BEST!

More recently we went to the doctor to see what was going on in my body. She was very kind and understanding and encouraged us to get labs done. We realized that our insurance will not cover any of this testing or any type of infertility treatment. Again, we cannot afford this–we hit another wall in trying to grow our family. We may look into other way to get the testing done, but I have to remind myself…

GOD’S WAY IS BEST!

God has worked in my heart in so many ways. He has given me so much appreciation and awe of when He forms a new life in the womb. As nearly all of our friends and even our family members have conceived and birthed so many beautiful children, I am so thankful that God has worked in my heart to truly rejoice with them, even when it hurts. God has helped me not focus on, “Why not us?  why not now?” And I am so thankful that…

GOD’S WAY IS BEST!

God has taught me to cling to His Word and preach the truth to myself. The truth that: Only God opens the womb. No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly (so if I do not have a baby, it is not good for me right now to have a baby). If God did not spare His own Son will He not along with Him graciously give us all things? Do I really believe this? I know that God has always given me all that I need (really more than what I need), so how can I not trust Him with our baby? BUT I DO NOT ALWAYS REMEMBER…

GOD’S WAY IS BEST!

Each month I face the hope and possibility that maybe this month is different, maybe I am pregnant…and each time being disappointed that it has not happened yet. I cry out to God and sorrow with Him. It is good for me to cry and hurt, but (I really try) not to stay in self-pity, I remember and claim those promises for myself, knowing that God is good and faithful. He does not let anything into (or not into) my life except through the filter of His hand. He is working ALL things are for my good and for His glory! And…

GOD’S WAY IS BEST!

Am I always trusting God? No. Is it easy when I walk through the baby section of store or see a big belly, especially my friends? No. BUT, hard is not bad, it is just hard! I have a Great High Priest who can sympathize with me. He went through much worse for me. A baby will not fix me or my circumstances. There will always be something ‘wrong’, so I pray that God will continue to give me true, abundant life in Him! Even if I never have a baby, I want God to change me and be glorified in me because…

HIS WAY IS BEST!

Lord God,
You are my God. Provider. Sustainer. Giver of Life. Protector. Joy. Comforter. Love. Everything.
Thank you for bringing this hard thing into my life, for barrenness, for not letting me get my way or get off easy.  For using this hurt, this hard to change my heart. To change me. To make me more aware of other people’s hurts. To soften my heart. To make me not assume so much. To enable  me to comfort others in any affliction.  And to teach me so many other lessons.
Thank you for protecting me from envy. Please keep my heart, Jesus. Thank you for all the kids I can love and for how that soothes the pain. I am so thankful, Lord. Thank you for a husband who is hurting too and is learning to run to you and trust that You withhold no good thing from those who walk uprightly. Thank you that this has brought us closer together and to You.
Thank you for the other support systems around me. Thank you for reminding me that Your steadfast love is better than life (or a life).  Please keep me trusting and depending on You, Jesus. Please keep me hoping and hurting, worshipping and waiting, loving and trusting You. Keep changing me, I pray. Keep me here, like this, no matter what comes or does not come. Your will be done, Lord. Be glorified. Amen.

 

–Stacie


What a powerful testimony, and we appreciate you sharing your story so much Stacie, especially because there are so many truths in there, and also there are so many women who can relate to that “longing feeling,” the heartache you feel each month that you don’t become pregnant. What a beautiful way to express God’s power and strength over the situation. Thank you so much Stacie!

If you would like to share your testimony of how God has healed your womb, or how He has healed, or is healing your soul (whether or not you have a baby) please email me at [email protected] and check out the writer’s guidelines at “Want To Share Your Testimony?” I feature a Testimony each Tuesday, you can also subscribe with your email address, or follow along on my Facebook Page.