Betsy’s Testimony: God’s Got It

 

As I write down my thoughts and dreams, my interactions of each day I can truly see myself as a whole person these days. But it wasn’t always this way …

I can look back into my “diary” and see the transaction from the last few years, last few months, mainly the last few weeks. Just recently I have become the person I had always led on to be.

The strong one. The one who is truly happy for you.

The one who is “OK” she is not carrying the child she has longed for, for years.

I find myself smiling at situations I once cried at.

I find myself dancing and singing in the front row at church.

I find myself carrying on more positive conversations with those who truly care.

I find myself when I look into the mirror – finally.

I once carried myself as a disappointment–rather a true daughter of the Lord. I was disappointing my husband–who wants to be a dad just as much as I want to be a mom.

Spending hours missing work to drive miles and miles because what that one doctor told me, I didn’t want to believe–and what the other doctor told me, I didn’t want to hear.

I thought maybe someone who didn’t know me from my past appointments would say something I hadn’t heard yet. But they all said the same, “We will just keep trying.” “Your next cycle will be different.” “ALL THINGS DOCTORS SAY.”

One day, I stopped listening to what those doctors were saying and listened to what my heart of hearts was saying.

It spoke so loud to me one day, and I knew what I had to do.

I had to cry and pray.

Pray and cry.

One day I woke up feeling not so sad, not so heavy hearted…I felt like me again. The person who I was before all this pressure of getting pregnant, providing my husband with a child, providing a grandchild to my parents.

I felt free.

Yes, there are some days that are easier than others. Yes, there will be days harder to come…but I know where to go on those days – and that makes it all the easier.

I prayed for comfort, for a solution, for something to change my life and the whole time it was inside right there inside of me.

This gift given to us from God, this gift to “The Grinders.”

The gift of peace.

The gift of peace that He has it.

God’s got it.


Thank you Betsy for sharing how God’s gift of peace is restoring life to your spirit and soul as you trust Him! God is surely able to saturate the thirsty soul with Himself, and He longs for each of us, whether we face infertility or some other struggle, to rest, to surrender, and to believe with all our heart: God’s got it. Because He does. 

If you have a testimony you would like to share here on Testimony Tuesdays at Barren to Beautiful, email me at [email protected] ! To check out the writer’s guidelines see my page, “Want To Share Your Testimony?”

5 Important Questions The Barren Woman Should Ask

Questions to Ask Yourself Before Using Conception “Helping” Methods:

1. Could this hurt my body? This may seem obvious, but when you are desperate to “have a baby” you often forget to consider harm to your own body. Be sure to do your research and look into any not-so-nice side effects. “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

2. How does my spouse feel about it? Considering your spouse’s feelings and convictions about fertility treatments is a big part of honoring (obeying, and submitting) to your husband. Not only that, but your husband is your protector, and it may be God who is warning him against something that could potentially hurt you..even if you don’t understand his logic.

3. What does my doctor think? Obviously, you want to consult with your doctor or OBYGN about your body and any medical /chemical treatments that could affect you. (Chances are, you need their approval, script, or referral anyway.) Consider any warnings, or concerns they may have.

4. Is there a more natural way? If the first or second month you don’t conceive, you rush out and beg your practitioner for fertility treatments, you may be jumping the gun. Aside from some good old patience and relaxation, there may be some better, more natural ways to try to conceive. In my own experience, my OBGYN actually knew very little about some of the more natural fertility methods I came in to ask about. This was discouraging a first, but in the long run, I did my homework and learned a lot through my own research.

5. What Does God say? Praying about what God wants you to do is the most important thing you can do. God is your maker, and He’s certainly the maker of that child you long for as well. Ask Him. He may not write it out for you on the wall, but He will give you the peace that surpasses understanding, and lead you in His way. He cares for you. And even more than giving you a child, He longs to give you Himself. Start right now by giving him your self, your whole self. And let Him fulfill your deepest desire. “In all your ways, submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:6