Stacie’s Testimony

When my husband and I made the decision to start trying for a family I thought it would be easy. According to my plan and timing. I took getting pregnant for granted, my sister got pregnant right away so I thought I would too, but…

GOD’S WAY IS BEST!

As the weeks turned into months I realized our story would look different than what I planned…what I dreamed. Every holiday thinking of ways to tell our parents, or what the next holiday would look like with a baby. But as the months turned into years, I saw the Lord withholding…molding…. changing…healing. Giving me life in a different way that I ever dreamed and I would not want it to be different because…

GOD’S WAY IS BEST!

After the first year of trying and not conceiving, my husband and I started looking into adoption. Adoption was always something that the Lord had put on our hearts. We found an organization that we really liked, that we were interested in moving forward with. When the time came to start the classes, we had to back out because of finances. My husband just started grad school, so there was no way we could move forward with the process financially right now (we really hope to someday). I had to remember…

GOD’S WAY IS BEST!

More recently we went to the doctor to see what was going on in my body. She was very kind and understanding and encouraged us to get labs done. We realized that our insurance will not cover any of this testing or any type of infertility treatment. Again, we cannot afford this–we hit another wall in trying to grow our family. We may look into other way to get the testing done, but I have to remind myself…

GOD’S WAY IS BEST!

God has worked in my heart in so many ways. He has given me so much appreciation and awe of when He forms a new life in the womb. As nearly all of our friends and even our family members have conceived and birthed so many beautiful children, I am so thankful that God has worked in my heart to truly rejoice with them, even when it hurts. God has helped me not focus on, “Why not us?  why not now?” And I am so thankful that…

GOD’S WAY IS BEST!

God has taught me to cling to His Word and preach the truth to myself. The truth that: Only God opens the womb. No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly (so if I do not have a baby, it is not good for me right now to have a baby). If God did not spare His own Son will He not along with Him graciously give us all things? Do I really believe this? I know that God has always given me all that I need (really more than what I need), so how can I not trust Him with our baby? BUT I DO NOT ALWAYS REMEMBER…

GOD’S WAY IS BEST!

Each month I face the hope and possibility that maybe this month is different, maybe I am pregnant…and each time being disappointed that it has not happened yet. I cry out to God and sorrow with Him. It is good for me to cry and hurt, but (I really try) not to stay in self-pity, I remember and claim those promises for myself, knowing that God is good and faithful. He does not let anything into (or not into) my life except through the filter of His hand. He is working ALL things are for my good and for His glory! And…

GOD’S WAY IS BEST!

Am I always trusting God? No. Is it easy when I walk through the baby section of store or see a big belly, especially my friends? No. BUT, hard is not bad, it is just hard! I have a Great High Priest who can sympathize with me. He went through much worse for me. A baby will not fix me or my circumstances. There will always be something ‘wrong’, so I pray that God will continue to give me true, abundant life in Him! Even if I never have a baby, I want God to change me and be glorified in me because…

HIS WAY IS BEST!

Lord God,
You are my God. Provider. Sustainer. Giver of Life. Protector. Joy. Comforter. Love. Everything.
Thank you for bringing this hard thing into my life, for barrenness, for not letting me get my way or get off easy.  For using this hurt, this hard to change my heart. To change me. To make me more aware of other people’s hurts. To soften my heart. To make me not assume so much. To enable  me to comfort others in any affliction.  And to teach me so many other lessons.
Thank you for protecting me from envy. Please keep my heart, Jesus. Thank you for all the kids I can love and for how that soothes the pain. I am so thankful, Lord. Thank you for a husband who is hurting too and is learning to run to you and trust that You withhold no good thing from those who walk uprightly. Thank you that this has brought us closer together and to You.
Thank you for the other support systems around me. Thank you for reminding me that Your steadfast love is better than life (or a life).  Please keep me trusting and depending on You, Jesus. Please keep me hoping and hurting, worshipping and waiting, loving and trusting You. Keep changing me, I pray. Keep me here, like this, no matter what comes or does not come. Your will be done, Lord. Be glorified. Amen.

 

–Stacie


What a powerful testimony, and we appreciate you sharing your story so much Stacie, especially because there are so many truths in there, and also there are so many women who can relate to that “longing feeling,” the heartache you feel each month that you don’t become pregnant. What a beautiful way to express God’s power and strength over the situation. Thank you so much Stacie!

If you would like to share your testimony of how God has healed your womb, or how He has healed, or is healing your soul (whether or not you have a baby) please email me at [email protected] and check out the writer’s guidelines at “Want To Share Your Testimony?” I feature a Testimony each Tuesday, you can also subscribe with your email address, or follow along on my Facebook Page.

Angela’s Testimony

My husband and I both come from a large family and we dreamed of having a big family, too. Everything seemed so perfect when we decided to have a baby. And then the disappointment set in. Months and months passed.

All around us people were having babies. Then years passed and those people had more babies. We became the only couple out of our family and friends to not have a child. Talk about isolation and despair, and confusion and yes, anger and so many other horrible feelings. It was the darkest time of my life. My heart yearned and ached with all my being to be a mother. Instead, I felt empty and the pain got worse. As silly as it sounds, I even thought that maybe God didn’t love me.

Around the two year mark, we went through infertility testing and learned that there is nothing physically wrong; our infertility is unexplained. At that point we strongly felt it was just a matter of God’s timing and we turned down infertility treatments. From that moment , God’s plans took us in ways that we never imagined.

Over the next year, we bought our first home, then my husband had to have extensive back surgery. He started college at 30 as he felt led to teach and coach high school kids. I went back to school to specialize in an area of nursing. We also moved my elderly grandparents into our home and became their primary caregivers. Not only did our physical lives change drastically but internally God was giving our hearts and minds a makeover too. Looking back I see this was a crucial time and God was planting seeds and growing us individually and as a strong couple. He helped my husband mature and become disciplined and responsible. The love and devotion he showed my grandparents was inspiring and we learned how to work well as a team. I found new strength and faith during this time and grew to cling to God for both. Despite our cries and prayers, I see now that because of His love, He didn’t give us a child during that time! More time passed.

One day, my husband and I discussed it and thought we would pursue infertility treatments. Little did we know, I was already pregnant! I will never forget how excited and overjoyed I was to see a positive sign in place of almost 5 years of negative signs each month. I was shaking as I called to my husband and we both jumped for joy and held each other and cried and hugged. Even our dogs jumped and barked in excitement! We were sobbing in happiness when we saw that little heart beat on the monitor. We sobbed 6 weeks later when we learned the day before our 6th wedding anniversary that our baby had died sometime around 12 weeks.

That was one of the hardest days of our life. How could it be that after all this time we could finally be given something so precious only for it to be taken away? But something happened then. It was a defining moment and it was the moment I can truly say that I fell in love with our Lord Jesus Christ.

In all our pain and in all of our heartache we reached out to Him for peace, for understanding, for comfort. I learned that the deeper and larger your hurt is, the bigger the space is for God to fill it with his presence and peace and love.

 

Rather than focusing on our devastation and loss, we decided to focus on Hope. We shifted our tears of pain to tears of praise for His grace and love and thanked Him for our baby who did have life, no matter how short. Having been pregnant once, we had hope I would be again.

Amazingly, 10 months later, our beautiful, miracle, daughter was born. Her name is Elliana which means “God has answered me.” We named her just before I was emergently hospitalized my 18th week of pregnancy. I spent the next 5 months on strict bedrest. It was a challenging journey and a time of spiritual growth, a time when God, family, friends and even strangers wrapped us in love and courage. It’s a beautiful testimony to share another time.

What I’d like to share now is for all those couples who suffer from a broken heart and empty arms. I know this pain so well. It’s unfair, lonely and agonizing. But God has big plans for you (Jeremiah 29:11). Where you are right now is where He wants you to be IF you acknowledge Him (Proverbs 3:6.) Believe that! Ask God to help you embrace where you are in life, no matter how sad or difficult. Try hard to be thankful for the present. The story God has written for my life is so much more beautiful than I could ever have planned and much of the source of that beauty is derived from heartache and pain. Isn’t that the basis for the gospel story and His saving grace!?

I’ve learned when you pray big, God answers bigger. Be ready!

Paul tells us specifically to “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer” (Romans 12:12). God is writing your story, too. I believe, just as He promises and like He has shown me, that your story is a beautiful testimony of God’s love and faithfulness. You might not be at the part you want yet, but God is working up to it and these chapters have purpose (Ecclesiastes 3). The best part is that even through the hard or sad times, if you ask God to be with you, He will (Jeremiah 29:12-13). During this time, don’t despair! “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will answer the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4).

We don’t know why or when or how, but God does and He is faithful and mighty. I pray my story glorifies Him and inspires you in peace and joy. He is the awesome creator and author of your life and mine. Trust in Him and His perfect plans and timing.

–Angela


Thank you Angela for sharing your story! Broken hearts and loneliness are two things I think a lot of us can relate to, especially as we are here talking about infertility and difficulty in pregnancy. You’re so right though, God’s plans and His timing are BEST, as He IS the Author of our lives.

If you would like to share your testimony of how God has healed your womb, or how He has healed, or is healing your soul (whether or not you have a baby) please email me [email protected] and check out the writer’s guidelines at “Want To Share Your Testimony?” I feature a Testimony each Tuesday, you can also subscribe with your email address, or follow along on my Facebook Page.

Love, Rebekah