Ruth’s Testimony

 

I married my high school sweetheart and while getting married at age 19 certainly would pose its share of challenges, I was no stranger to the valleys and desert places we can find ourselves in when God’s plan doesn’t seem to fit with the expectations we set in our hearts. My mom went to be with Jesus when I was 15, and through that loss God revealed his unconditional and unwavering love for me when I met the man who would be my future spouse that same year.

Fast forward 3 years after our wedding and with the same feelings I had when the Lord told me who I would marry, I had a dream I was pregnant and that my husband and I needed to stop using birth control and begin on our journey to start a family. I was 22, my husband 23, both of us pretty fresh out of university and trying to navigate our career paths and definitely not in the world’s eyes “ready” for kids; however, I did not question God’s voice and neither did my husband since we had seen his goodness when we stepped out in faith.

That dream of being pregnant was in December of 2012, and I still remember at Christmas in my stocking my husband gave me a gift certificate for a maternity clothing store and I couldn’t have been more thrilled! While it was just a little folded up piece of paper, for me, it was a gesture that meant my husband trusted in what God had said to me and that he was ready for this new season.

I describe that first year of “trying” as having emotional bumps. Not necessarily roller coaster type feelings, but just that hopefulness that the next month would be the month. A year and a half after trying for a baby, the focus on having a family actually began to get fuzzy, as we were facing totally unrelated health complications for my husband. By the summer of 2015, he was at the point where working even part-time was almost unbearable due to the pain in his knees. He had started his own company the previous year and God knew he would need the flexibility to be able to take off as much time as he would need to get a diagnosis and hopefully find healing.

As Psalm 136 says, “His faithful love endures forever” and by the spring of 2016 my husband was back working full-time. Through those couple years, I remember holding on to the scripture in Ecclesiastes 3 that says there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven, and through many tears shed over the pages of my journal, I knew this season would end and a new one would begin, one that would include a baby.

At the end of 2015, we had already decided that since it had been 3 years of trying to conceive without any success it would be wise to begin looking into why we hadn’t got pregnant. So throughout 2016, we went for numerous tests and were eventually put on a path that would lead to IVF.

As I write this I am days away from finding out if we are pregnant through the IVF journey we have been on. Yet, while we have expectant hearts for a new life to come into our home, I have discovered in the past 5 years that God’s plan is not for my story to end with saying that “God has blessed us with a child (whether it be through IVF or not) and that God can do it for you too.”

Instead, my story is one that speaks to what you learn and how you grow in the waiting.

My story is one that speaks to what you learn and how you grow in the waiting.

We live in a culture where waiting is not valued, time is of the essence and “wait times” create frustration and angst. For me, it has been in the waiting where Jesus has spoken to me and told me I am his beloved, that his timing is perfect. There is a song by Bethel Music, called “Take Courage” and I have soaked in God’s presence as I have listened to it many times, maybe you have, too. It goes,

“Slow down take time
Breathe in He said
He’ll reveal what’s to come
The thoughts in His mind
Always higher than mine
And He’ll reveal all to come

Take courage my heart, stay steadfast my soul
He’s in the waiting, he’s in the waiting
Hold onto your hope, as your triumph unfolds
He’s never failing, He’s never failing

You who hold the stars
Who call them each by name
Will surely keep Your promise to me
That I will rise in Your victory”

It’s easy to be discontent in the waiting and to feel that you will only be able to say, “He is good,” when the victory comes. However, I believe what you do and how you respond in the waiting can actually be just as powerful of a testimony as when you tell others about the miracle you received.

I was recently listening to a sermon where the pastor was speaking on David’s victory over Goliath and the preacher said, “When bravery and faithfulness meet, miracles are often the result.” Bravery and faithfulness are choices I must make every day so I am not shaken by the waves of doubt, grief, and the longing desires of my flesh.

Daily, God meets me in the waiting and I know I will be waiting on a countless number of things for the rest of my life, so I will find true rest and joy as He weaves together testimony after testimony of his goodness and faithfulness in my waiting so I can encourage others in theirs.

-Ruth

UPDATE: Praise the Lord! Ruth sent this testimony several months ago, and since then, Ruth has become pregnant, she recently confirmed she is now 11.5 weeks pregnant. It is amazing how God truly works in the “waiting periods” of our lives.


Amen Ruth! Thank you for sharing your testimony on how to wait, in the hard times and in the most gracious way. When God doesn’t answer our prayers as soon as we hope, it doesn’t mean He still isn’t there for us, it doesn’t mean He is choosing to ignore us, but like you said, it becomes a time to find true rest and joy as He weaves together testimony after testimony of his goodness and faithfulness. And now, Congratulations on this little blessing you’ve been praying for!

If you would like to share your testimony of how God has healed your womb, or how He has healed, or is healing your soul (whether or not you have a baby) please email me at [email protected] and check out the writer’s guidelines at “Want To Share Your Testimony?” You can also subscribe with your email address, or follow along on my Facebook Page.

 

Stacie’s Testimony

When my husband and I made the decision to start trying for a family I thought it would be easy. According to my plan and timing. I took getting pregnant for granted, my sister got pregnant right away so I thought I would too, but…

GOD’S WAY IS BEST!

As the weeks turned into months I realized our story would look different than what I planned…what I dreamed. Every holiday thinking of ways to tell our parents, or what the next holiday would look like with a baby. But as the months turned into years, I saw the Lord withholding…molding…. changing…healing. Giving me life in a different way that I ever dreamed and I would not want it to be different because…

GOD’S WAY IS BEST!

After the first year of trying and not conceiving, my husband and I started looking into adoption. Adoption was always something that the Lord had put on our hearts. We found an organization that we really liked, that we were interested in moving forward with. When the time came to start the classes, we had to back out because of finances. My husband just started grad school, so there was no way we could move forward with the process financially right now (we really hope to someday). I had to remember…

GOD’S WAY IS BEST!

More recently we went to the doctor to see what was going on in my body. She was very kind and understanding and encouraged us to get labs done. We realized that our insurance will not cover any of this testing or any type of infertility treatment. Again, we cannot afford this–we hit another wall in trying to grow our family. We may look into other way to get the testing done, but I have to remind myself…

GOD’S WAY IS BEST!

God has worked in my heart in so many ways. He has given me so much appreciation and awe of when He forms a new life in the womb. As nearly all of our friends and even our family members have conceived and birthed so many beautiful children, I am so thankful that God has worked in my heart to truly rejoice with them, even when it hurts. God has helped me not focus on, “Why not us?  why not now?” And I am so thankful that…

GOD’S WAY IS BEST!

God has taught me to cling to His Word and preach the truth to myself. The truth that: Only God opens the womb. No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly (so if I do not have a baby, it is not good for me right now to have a baby). If God did not spare His own Son will He not along with Him graciously give us all things? Do I really believe this? I know that God has always given me all that I need (really more than what I need), so how can I not trust Him with our baby? BUT I DO NOT ALWAYS REMEMBER…

GOD’S WAY IS BEST!

Each month I face the hope and possibility that maybe this month is different, maybe I am pregnant…and each time being disappointed that it has not happened yet. I cry out to God and sorrow with Him. It is good for me to cry and hurt, but (I really try) not to stay in self-pity, I remember and claim those promises for myself, knowing that God is good and faithful. He does not let anything into (or not into) my life except through the filter of His hand. He is working ALL things are for my good and for His glory! And…

GOD’S WAY IS BEST!

Am I always trusting God? No. Is it easy when I walk through the baby section of store or see a big belly, especially my friends? No. BUT, hard is not bad, it is just hard! I have a Great High Priest who can sympathize with me. He went through much worse for me. A baby will not fix me or my circumstances. There will always be something ‘wrong’, so I pray that God will continue to give me true, abundant life in Him! Even if I never have a baby, I want God to change me and be glorified in me because…

HIS WAY IS BEST!

Lord God,
You are my God. Provider. Sustainer. Giver of Life. Protector. Joy. Comforter. Love. Everything.
Thank you for bringing this hard thing into my life, for barrenness, for not letting me get my way or get off easy.  For using this hurt, this hard to change my heart. To change me. To make me more aware of other people’s hurts. To soften my heart. To make me not assume so much. To enable  me to comfort others in any affliction.  And to teach me so many other lessons.
Thank you for protecting me from envy. Please keep my heart, Jesus. Thank you for all the kids I can love and for how that soothes the pain. I am so thankful, Lord. Thank you for a husband who is hurting too and is learning to run to you and trust that You withhold no good thing from those who walk uprightly. Thank you that this has brought us closer together and to You.
Thank you for the other support systems around me. Thank you for reminding me that Your steadfast love is better than life (or a life).  Please keep me trusting and depending on You, Jesus. Please keep me hoping and hurting, worshipping and waiting, loving and trusting You. Keep changing me, I pray. Keep me here, like this, no matter what comes or does not come. Your will be done, Lord. Be glorified. Amen.

 

–Stacie


What a powerful testimony, and we appreciate you sharing your story so much Stacie, especially because there are so many truths in there, and also there are so many women who can relate to that “longing feeling,” the heartache you feel each month that you don’t become pregnant. What a beautiful way to express God’s power and strength over the situation. Thank you so much Stacie!

If you would like to share your testimony of how God has healed your womb, or how He has healed, or is healing your soul (whether or not you have a baby) please email me at [email protected] and check out the writer’s guidelines at “Want To Share Your Testimony?” I feature a Testimony each Tuesday, you can also subscribe with your email address, or follow along on my Facebook Page.

Danielle’s Testimony

 

My husband and I had gotten married in 2012 and had always been open to starting a family from the beginning. Naturally, I thought this was going to just happen because I came from a family that could easily get pregnant. My internal struggle began after months of feeling disappointed. My heart longed to be a mom. My heart longed to have a family.

We decided to get some things tested to see if we needed help. Through this testing we decided to stay a more natural route with no interventions. After one of my many appointments, I heard God speak to me. I was in tears walking out of the doctor’s office and I heard loud and clearly, “Trust me.” My tears stopped flowing and I knew that I needed to turn over all of my pain, discouragement and anger to God and exchange it for hope.

We continued to live our married life which came with its ups and downs. My husband had changed jobs a couple of times and even went a period of time without a job. We continued to live in our apartment and dreamed about starting a family and owning a home. I remember one night I was just crying. The kind of crying where you can’t catch your breath. My heart was just hurting for all the things that my heart desired. Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. I got on my knees and raised my hands and just told God to take all of the pain. Well, He answered by stopping my tears. I again heard him say, “Trust me.”

My prayers changed from asking Him for what I wanted—to praising Him and telling Him, “Thy Will Be Done!” I let go of control and decided to start living and serving Him in the moment.

After another year of being open to whatever God had planned, my husband got a new job that provided enough income to buy a home in Oct. 2016. I had been struggling with my job for about 2 years, feeling like God wanted me somewhere else. March 1, 2017, I put in my resignation and decided to follow God as he led me to a new career.

April 4th 2017 God answered yet another prayer. I had gotten my very first positive pregnancy test! I couldn’t believe my eyes. God had answered all of our prayers. We are due in December 2017 and can’t believe God chose us to be parents to this peanut. His timing and plan was more perfect than anything I could have dreamed up. Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.”

My prayer for anyone reading this is to sit in God’s presence. He hears you. He wants to hold you through this struggle. When you hurt, he hurts with you. May you feel his extreme love for you as he unveils your amazing story.

–Danielle

 

Danielle is due this December 2017.


Wow, Danielle! Thank you so much for sharing you testimony. It’s so encouraging to read stories not only that we can relate to, in our struggles, but also rejoice with, in the end, as God is answering every prayer!! I love how you made a point to say that when we hurt, God hurts with us. That is so true, and in so many areas of our lives. What an exciting time for you and your husband!! Thank you again for sharing with us.

If you would like to share your testimony of how God has healed your womb, or how He has healed, or is healing your soul (whether or not you have a baby) please email me at [email protected] and check out the writer’s guidelines at “Want To Share Your Testimony?” I feature a Testimony each Tuesday, you can also subscribe with your email address, or follow along on my Facebook Page.

Love, Rebekah

 

Bethany’s Testimony

After being married for seven years, my husband and I decided we were ready to start a family. After three or four months of trying, we were thrilled to learn we were pregnant! Sadly, we miscarried at 14 weeks. I always pictured myself as a strong woman who wouldn’t be very emotional. So, I was surprised when I was devastated over our miscarriage, but I assumed I would move on easily and we would get pregnant again quickly.

After months and months of negative pregnancy tests, my husband and I decided to get checked out to figure out why we hadn’t conceived again. All the tests came back normal, and the doctors were unable to tell us why we hadn’t become pregnant again. For two years, I was on an emotional roller coaster. I found myself crying at unexpected times, and felt like the story of my life had been over taken by the pain and struggle of our miscarried and unexplained infertility.

As I talked about this with my spiritual director, she suggested I pray through a scripture in John where Jesus asked the disciples what they wanted from him. When I got to that part of the scripture, I asked the Lord to take away my pain and sadness from our miscarriage and infertility, and to give me joy.

The very first time I prayed that, I heard the Lord say, “I will.”

And honestly after that point, things that would have made me cry, didn’t anymore. I still longed to be pregnant but the overwhelming theme of my story was no longer pain and sadness. I truly believe God healed my heart at that point.

As we continued to try to conceive, my husband brought up adoption and foster-to-adopt. I wasn’t opposed to adopting, but I knew I couldn’t have my heart in both places and wasn’t ready to let go of my desire to become pregnant.

One Sunday my plans changed, and I was at church when I hadn’t expected to be. Our worship leaders sang Hillsong’s song, “Oceans.” During that song, I felt the Lord telling me that no matter how tough adoption would be, to keep my trust in him and He would get me through. I needed to turn all my worries and concerns over to him. I knew after that experience I was ready to move forward with adoption and put my desire for a biological child on the back burner.

We met with an adoption agency and turned in our application in September 2016 for private adoption and foster-to-adopt. They told us it could take years to be matched with a family. We completed our home study and all the required classes at the end of February 2017, and were cleared for adoption/foster-to-adopt.

Two weeks later, just as we were finishing putting together a crib in case we were called for foster care, we got a call telling us about a woman who was placing her child for adoption. We met with her and she chose us to be the family she placed her baby with! She invited us to come for doctors appointments, ultrasounds, and to be present for the birth of the baby – all things I never thought would be possible with adoption. At the end of May, our daughter was born and our family has begun to grow!

For those who wonder if God pays attention to details, He does.

In our state, birth parents have 30 days to change their mind about placing their child for adoption. The day that expired was June 30…the due date of our baby who we miscarried 3 years earlier! God is good and a day that once brought sadness will now be remembered with joy!

As I sit and write this, our beautiful daughter is sleeping on my chest. Although God’s plan for our family is not like I ever imagined it would be, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I have learned to trust God and have seen His love and provision in so many ways that would not have been possible if our journey to parenthood had been different. I don’t know what our future has in store – biological children, more adopted children, or both (my hope) – I know God is good even in our times of struggle and pain. When all I saw was sadness, God saw a beautiful story that had been yet to be told.

–Bethany


Thank you Bethany for sharing your testimony of longing, and infertility, and how God took your sadness and turned it into joy! It really is amazing how HE is working in every detail of our lives! What an inspiring and uplifting testimony, thank you for being so raw and vulnerable with us today Bethany!

If you would like to share your testimony of how God has healed your womb, or how He has healed, or is healing your soul (whether or not you have a baby) please email me at [email protected] and check out the writer’s guidelines at “Want To Share Your Testimony?” I feature a Testimony each Tuesday, you can also subscribe with your email address, or follow along on my Facebook Page.

Love, Rebekah

 

Angela’s Testimony

My husband and I both come from a large family and we dreamed of having a big family, too. Everything seemed so perfect when we decided to have a baby. And then the disappointment set in. Months and months passed.

All around us people were having babies. Then years passed and those people had more babies. We became the only couple out of our family and friends to not have a child. Talk about isolation and despair, and confusion and yes, anger and so many other horrible feelings. It was the darkest time of my life. My heart yearned and ached with all my being to be a mother. Instead, I felt empty and the pain got worse. As silly as it sounds, I even thought that maybe God didn’t love me.

Around the two year mark, we went through infertility testing and learned that there is nothing physically wrong; our infertility is unexplained. At that point we strongly felt it was just a matter of God’s timing and we turned down infertility treatments. From that moment , God’s plans took us in ways that we never imagined.

Over the next year, we bought our first home, then my husband had to have extensive back surgery. He started college at 30 as he felt led to teach and coach high school kids. I went back to school to specialize in an area of nursing. We also moved my elderly grandparents into our home and became their primary caregivers. Not only did our physical lives change drastically but internally God was giving our hearts and minds a makeover too. Looking back I see this was a crucial time and God was planting seeds and growing us individually and as a strong couple. He helped my husband mature and become disciplined and responsible. The love and devotion he showed my grandparents was inspiring and we learned how to work well as a team. I found new strength and faith during this time and grew to cling to God for both. Despite our cries and prayers, I see now that because of His love, He didn’t give us a child during that time! More time passed.

One day, my husband and I discussed it and thought we would pursue infertility treatments. Little did we know, I was already pregnant! I will never forget how excited and overjoyed I was to see a positive sign in place of almost 5 years of negative signs each month. I was shaking as I called to my husband and we both jumped for joy and held each other and cried and hugged. Even our dogs jumped and barked in excitement! We were sobbing in happiness when we saw that little heart beat on the monitor. We sobbed 6 weeks later when we learned the day before our 6th wedding anniversary that our baby had died sometime around 12 weeks.

That was one of the hardest days of our life. How could it be that after all this time we could finally be given something so precious only for it to be taken away? But something happened then. It was a defining moment and it was the moment I can truly say that I fell in love with our Lord Jesus Christ.

In all our pain and in all of our heartache we reached out to Him for peace, for understanding, for comfort. I learned that the deeper and larger your hurt is, the bigger the space is for God to fill it with his presence and peace and love.

 

Rather than focusing on our devastation and loss, we decided to focus on Hope. We shifted our tears of pain to tears of praise for His grace and love and thanked Him for our baby who did have life, no matter how short. Having been pregnant once, we had hope I would be again.

Amazingly, 10 months later, our beautiful, miracle, daughter was born. Her name is Elliana which means “God has answered me.” We named her just before I was emergently hospitalized my 18th week of pregnancy. I spent the next 5 months on strict bedrest. It was a challenging journey and a time of spiritual growth, a time when God, family, friends and even strangers wrapped us in love and courage. It’s a beautiful testimony to share another time.

What I’d like to share now is for all those couples who suffer from a broken heart and empty arms. I know this pain so well. It’s unfair, lonely and agonizing. But God has big plans for you (Jeremiah 29:11). Where you are right now is where He wants you to be IF you acknowledge Him (Proverbs 3:6.) Believe that! Ask God to help you embrace where you are in life, no matter how sad or difficult. Try hard to be thankful for the present. The story God has written for my life is so much more beautiful than I could ever have planned and much of the source of that beauty is derived from heartache and pain. Isn’t that the basis for the gospel story and His saving grace!?

I’ve learned when you pray big, God answers bigger. Be ready!

Paul tells us specifically to “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer” (Romans 12:12). God is writing your story, too. I believe, just as He promises and like He has shown me, that your story is a beautiful testimony of God’s love and faithfulness. You might not be at the part you want yet, but God is working up to it and these chapters have purpose (Ecclesiastes 3). The best part is that even through the hard or sad times, if you ask God to be with you, He will (Jeremiah 29:12-13). During this time, don’t despair! “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will answer the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4).

We don’t know why or when or how, but God does and He is faithful and mighty. I pray my story glorifies Him and inspires you in peace and joy. He is the awesome creator and author of your life and mine. Trust in Him and His perfect plans and timing.

–Angela


Thank you Angela for sharing your story! Broken hearts and loneliness are two things I think a lot of us can relate to, especially as we are here talking about infertility and difficulty in pregnancy. You’re so right though, God’s plans and His timing are BEST, as He IS the Author of our lives.

If you would like to share your testimony of how God has healed your womb, or how He has healed, or is healing your soul (whether or not you have a baby) please email me [email protected] and check out the writer’s guidelines at “Want To Share Your Testimony?” I feature a Testimony each Tuesday, you can also subscribe with your email address, or follow along on my Facebook Page.

Love, Rebekah