I left work early that day, my world was spinning. My heart was in anguish, feeling as if it would burst at any moment. And once I arrived home, I was completely undone. Weeping. It seemed like suddenly all the light had gone out of the world. Out of my world.
Sin and death.
Like two arrows shot straight into my heart. Within one hour that morning.
First arrow, Sin. I was cut deeply by sin, the sin of someone I loved.
Second arrow, Death. A dear friend had passed away, leaving her husband, and three kids. Alone.
Sin and death. All at once, I could feel their power. Taste the bitter. And that night as it grew dark outside, it grew dark inside…me. It felt that night like Satan won.
Like he would always win.
Crushed and broken, I sat at the old piano, with no words, watching the neat black and white keys blur with my tears.
Have you ever had one of these moments? When your world suddenly flickers black?
When tears run dry, and strength wears thin,
No hope of going on again,
When hands are fragile, thin, and weak,
No words are left to even speak?
There are nights in this life that are simply dark.
When I was a little girl, I was afraid to go upstairs in our house because…it was dark. So my mom taught me to sing. To sing in the dark.
I’d run upstairs belting out Jesus, Loves Me and flipping on light switches as I’d go…and Mom was right. It did make me feel better. Braver.
And there at the piano, that night, in the dark and death and despair, I somehow remembered. To do it again.
The words were choked out, and awkward.
A song we sing at church, “You Are Good,” a lively, up-beat song—but that night it came out very slow. My voice cracked with pain. Stopping every few words, choked with the weight of it.
I sing, because You are good
I dance, because You are good
I shout, because You are good
You are good to me
And in my darkest night,
You shine as bright as day
Your love amazes me
But as I worshipped in my weakness and pain, something incredible happened. The Light began to appear. Like a soft candle in a dark room, growing steadily brighter. Jesus Christ, the Light of the whole world. In whom, there is no darkness at all. (1 John 1:5)
I tremble as I write this, but it is true: God is worthy of our worship—even when the darkness comes. And before it leaves. And often, our worship of Him is the very thing that leads us out of the darkness. We take our eyes off our pain, hardship, questions, conflicts, confusion, and put them on Jesus. We do the very thing we were born to do: worship our God.
Singing is powerful. Worship is warfare between darkness and light. It’s not just emotional. It’s not about the “warm fuzzy feeling” that music can induce. We feel better when we sing because the Light of the World actually enters into the room. He enlightens the darkness. He takes us by the hand. He makes us brave.
Whatever your situation, however dark, or grim; however complicated your relationships, or frustrated your efforts—invite the Light into it. Invite Jesus to come into the picture. He will.
The Day is drawing near, when He will stand again on the earth. With a sword upon His side. You with your own eyes will see him. (Job 19:27) And ‘He will wipe every tear from [your] eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelations 21:4) He Himself will bind up and heal every wound. Every wound. And for every tear of pain, will flow ten thousand tears of joy. For He is making everything new.
And we will sing a new song that day,
“Where O death, is your victory? Where O death, is your sting?” For Death has been swallowed up in victory. (1 Corinthians 15:55, 54b)
Sing, Daughter of Zion.
Sing, because of Your God.
Even in the dark.
For your Light is coming.
Singing with you and praying for you.
Thank you! The night I shared about in this post was actually about a year and a half ago now, and truly was one of my hardest days ever. But what the Lord taught me through it, I hope to never forget. He really does shine brightest in our darkest times, and often that’s when He changes us the most. Thank you for your kindness, and sweet reply!
Oh, how true. 🙂
This is absolutely gorgeous, and oh so comforting. Let us sing Jesus out of heaven.
Thank you for your comment! I am glad you can relate, and yes, let us sing our way out of the darkness and into the light! 🙂
Pocketful of Motherhood says
Rebekah, Thank you for outpouring your heart in this post. I’m sorry for the pain that time must have brought you, but your perspective about His Light is beautiful. I greatly anticipate the day when He will wipe every tear away. ~Hannah
Me too! The passage of Revelations 21 is such a comfort, especially during hard or difficult times. Just that thought of the coming reality is so comforting! I cannot wait for the day when we will meet Him face to face and He will wipe those tears away forever. 🙂
I needed this reminder right now. Thank you! Beautiful!
Oh, I am so glad! Yes, I often need to be reminded of this myself! It is so easy to forget. Although I experienced this about two years ago, it is still a fresh reminder to me. Whether what I’m going through is extremely painful, or just slightly uncomfortable, He is worthy of my worship. It’s so hard not to just worship when I feel like it and every thing is smooth sailing. Regardless of what is going on, He is good, He is God, and we were made to worship him. 🙂
Amen to all of that sister!! Thank you for the reminder we are not alone in the struggle, and that no matter what, God is good!
Very beautifully said. Thanks.
It was dark in the prison when Paul and Silas sang…
I’m so glad you mentioned that! I actually was thinking of Paul and Silas when I was writing this. You are right–they sang in the dark, and look at what God did! How he powerfully showed His light to them! Great insight, thank you. 🙂
You are welcome! 🙂
Sometimes it’s hard to remember to sing when it’s dark. Thank you for the reminder.
Yeah, I think it is often the last thing we want to do. It feels like my heart is moving in the opposite direction when the darkness presses in. May God give us the power to press back the darkness with our worship. We need the Holy Spirit’s power to even do this small decision to worship. Thanks for your response.
It’s the hardest thing to do, but it’s the only thing that works. Its usually “give me Jesus” for me. Thank you for this. It’s really lovely.
You are right. It is really the only thing that works. I can try to distract myself for a awhile, but it doesn’t help in the long run. I need to invite Jesus into the picture, and begin worshipping Him asap! “Give Me Jesus” is a beautiful song! That is a great one to sing 🙂
Anne (Grace is my Superhero) says
Wow, this is so powerful! I just wrote a similar article for my blog after attended a memorial service for a mother of a friend of mine. I was getting ready to post it when I noticed your article! God must really be speaking about this right now. Thank you so much for these beautiful words!
Oh, that is amazing when God does that! Yes, I suppose it’s something He absolutely wants us to know right now! I will need to check out what you wrote as well! Thank you for your response! May God give us the strength to worship Him during the hard times, as well as the easy. 🙂
Anne (Grace is my Superhero) says
Rebekah, you spoke this so carefully, it broke through the pain so softly. Life can be so cruel, how can one sing? What is the point, the reason? You brought the reasoning so gently. Thank you for sharing this.
It was truly one of my hardest days, but it was also a day I could see the Lord shining brighter than ever. Thank you for listening carefully to the message; I am glad it could come through. It was a delicate subject matter, and I had to leave out some details too personal to share in a forum like this, but I still wanted to get across: that life can hurt. But God can heal. Thank you for your friendship, and your heart.