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Barren to Beautiful

4 Lies The Barren Woman Believes

Trying To Conceive· Uncategorized

18 Apr

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4 lies the barren woman

During my struggle with infertility, there were about 4 big lies that I believed. It felt like a wrestling match–trying to get out from being constantly pinned down. Trying to struggle free.

But it wasn’t the “lies” that pinned me down, it was the “Liar” himself. He was the one who didn’t want me up. He was the one who wanted me to confuse his subtle whispers of despair with the truth. He was the one trying to stamp out my hope.

If you are barren, or infertile today, maybe you aren’t even sure what the “lies” you might believe are. Well, if so, please keep reading because I’ve written out those 4 nasty lies–and the truth to set you free!

If you are truly in this place, this barren place, I encourage you to read through these carefully and slowly each day as they come out. Really pray and ask God to reveal any lies that have raided your heart. And ask Him to set you free from believing false things that do not line up with his Word. He is the only One who can truly set you free. And I believe with all my heart, He will.

That’s why I’m only gong to share Lie #1 today, and one lie per day following this post as a little mini-series.

This post was first published as a guest post I wrote for my friend Elisha over at Waiting for Baby Bird. So if you would like to read the full post today please head over there! If you are on the journey of infertility, I highly recommend her blog.  Pretty much any thought that’s gone through your head during your infertility journey–she has a post about it! She has a beautiful heart, and I promise you will love her.

4 Lies The Barren Woman Believes {And The Truth to Set You Free}

Lie #1:  “My womb is dead, I am dead.”

If you are infertile, or barren, you may feel like you are dead. After all, the very definition of the word “barren” means “unfruitful, unable to produce.” Kind of like a dry, barren wasteland, where nothing is growing, right?

Truth: Although your womb may be currently barren, your spirit doesn’t have to be. If you are a believer in Jesus: He has made you alive. (Ephesians 2:5 ESV) And nothing can take that life away from you. Jesus said, “I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.” (John‬ ‭10:28‬ ‭ESV‬‬) This is important to understand because God’s definition of “life” and “death” are different from our culture’s definition. Death and Life are more than just what is happening in your physical body–because you are more than just a physical body. There is a spirit part of you. God has created a spirit in you, with His very breath. You bear His image, and the Holy Spirit really does live in you. That’s why you can be spiritually alive, even when your physical body is suffering. Paul wrote, “So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.” (2 Corinthians‬ ‭4:16‬ ‭ESV‬‬)‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

Even though your womb cannot conceive right now, you can still be fruitful and alive in Christ.

When I was barren, I wrote a song that I believe God gave to me to help me through that season. It was written as if God Himself were singing it to me. The lyrics were:

“There’s Someone living inside you,
though not a child tucked inside your womb,
but it’s my Holy Spirit, who conquered Jesus’ tomb.
He’s alive, He’s alive, He’s alive,
Hear Him roar!
And you’re alive, you’re alive,
More than ever before.”

Be set free today! Your infertility no longer defines you. Your physical ailments no longer define you. God defines you. And He calls you: alive.

So, wake up living one and breathe, and exhale, and know that God has made you alive.

 

 

 


To read the full post head over to Waiting For Baby Bird. Or look for the rest of this 4-part series coming out each day this week.

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« To The Woman Who Miscarried, Or Never Conceived
4 Lies The Barren Woman Believes–Part 2 »

Comments

  1. Elisha says

    April 19, 2016 at 4:07 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing your heart and the Truth of His Word on my blog! I appreciate you so very much! xo

    waitingforbabybird.com

    Reply
  2. Alley says

    June 22, 2016 at 4:44 pm

    I so appreciate the compassion you share on here. I feel like it can be so hard for others to relate to a struggle like infertility, it is so personal and can hurt so deep. I personally have been married for 15 years and we have been trying for 5 years to have a baby; although I fully believe our day will come the day-to-day struggle is real. I find the enemy’s lies can be so quiet and subtle and then one day you wake up and they have become louder than the truth. Thank you for using your voice to attack those lies, I have been devouring your blog and the Lord has been using it to give me a renewed strength. So thank you for using your words to speak life <3

    Reply
    • Rebekah says

      June 23, 2016 at 3:59 pm

      Alley,
      I am so happy that the Lord is speaking to your heart and ministering to your spirit. That is the best thing I could hope for in writing this blog. I am so thankful He is drawing you to Himself and satisfying you with His presence. I know the struggle is so hard, and so long, and often lonely. But you are not alone, and I pray the Lord reveals His perfect will for you and your husband in His perfect time. You are so precious. Thank you for sharing your heart with me. I am honored to have you reading! Much love to you!
      Rebekah 🙂

      Reply
  3. Ray says

    August 4, 2016 at 2:20 pm

    Thank you so much, I live and work in Nigeria, just came across your blog a few days ago and I’ve really been blessed by it. I have been trying for a year 8months now, I read the word of God, confess it and all, and decided not to visit the hospital and leave all to God, but last month I thought it will be good to know what the issue is, but I have been feeling so guilty, you know that feeling like am I doubting God and believing the doctors more. The truth is I have never doubted and don’t but am 35 now, and feel I should check it out, what is your advise.
    Thanks and have a blessed day.

    Reply
    • Rebekah says

      August 5, 2016 at 2:56 am

      Ray,
      Thank you so much for sharing your journey with me! I am so glad God led you here, and I hope He continues to encourage your heart. Keep putting your hope in the Lord, reading His word, pouring out your heart to Him, and surrendering your heart to Him. I know it’s so hard, and it feels like an eternity of waiting–especially when you don’t know what God’s plan is. But keep trusting God’s character, even when you don’t know His plan. My biggest suggestion is pray about what God wants you to do. In my experience with infertility, there were times where I felt God was saying not to pursue any medical routes, and other times when I felt like He gave permission to pursue those same medical routes. According to my conscience, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with going to the doctors and trying to find out if there is something wrong. If you find out there is a reason preventing you from getting pregnant, then you will have a choice to make about what you want to do from there. (But you must do whatever God is leading you to do!) If He shows you not to do anything with doctors, put your faith in Him. And if He shows you to go to the doctors and pursue a medical remedy, put your faith in Him. Either way, keep trusting in Him to lead you through this. I pray He gives you wisdom and discernment over what to do. I believe he will show you and your husband what direction to go, or not go. Much love, and wisdom from above!
      Rebekah 🙂

      Reply

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Hi, I’m Rebekah Fox.

I was once a barren woman. I had a barren womb, and a very barren soul. But God saw me in my barrenness--and He delivered me. Not only of a barren womb, but a barren soul, too. He opened my eyes to His beauty all around me. And every day, I need Him to do it again, in my heart, and in my spirit. To take me from Barren to Beautiful. Because I am weak, and broken, and sinful, but He--He is beautiful. If the Spirit has led you here, perhaps He wants to take your barrenness away--and birth something more beautiful than you ever imagined.

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Rebekah Fox

barrentobeautiful

I help women struggling with infertility to hope in Christ and allow Him to transform them from barren to beautiful—on the inside. 🌸

You’re invited 🌿 The past 3 summers I’ve i You’re invited 🌿

The past 3 summers I’ve invited my readers and friends to join me in a social media fast—

and it has been extremely restorative and fruitful. 

I want to invite you to join me for this, because I have experienced how freeing this has been. It begins on June 1, but you could join whenever you are reading this.:)

There are two choices:
The Sprint—fasting June 1-July 1 🏃🏻‍♀️ 

The Marathon—fasting June 1-September 1 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️

The thing is, while I love following so many of your beautiful profiles (especially those of you who write for the glory of God) the truth is, you’re not the reason I’m going. It’s everything else.

I’ve found that my soul needs breaks from scrolling, from information, from watching, and from the many voices and opinions, and the idolatry that I’m so prone to adore and replicate.

Summer has become for me, a beautiful growing time. A quiet time, and a hidden time. 

If you choose to do one of these fasts—you will miss out. You will miss out on the happenings in the Christian world, you will miss out on being seen, you will miss out on the latest controversy, and the latest debate. 

But what you will gain, is so much more. 

For you will discover the forgotten beauty of the secret place.🌿

This summer, let your greatest ambition to be this: to know Him.

Nothing could be more freeing.
Nothing could be more fruitful.

Abide in him, and he will abide in you. He is the vine, and you are the branches and apart from him, we can do nothing. 

It’s a practical move this fast. It feels like pruning shears. But he only prunes, to make us more fruitful. 

This is my last night here for a while. 

I just felt prompted to invite you on this adventure, too.🌿
I won’t see you, but God will see you. And that’s all that really matters.

The link in my bio will explain everything about how the fast works.

If you do need to get in touch, you can email me at barrentobeautifulblog@gmail.com

Happy summer!🌿

Photo cred: My daughter when we visited the @wildandfree.co Forest Cabin 2 summers ago 🌿
Early on in my writing for #ttc women, I realized Early on in my writing for #ttc women, I realized my blog posts were not enough. These grieving women needed more than a blog post, or a Facebook comment. The women with empty wombs and longing hearts—needed something to hold in their hands. 
Hope. 
They needed the hope of Christ.

I’m delighted to say my dear friends @jennmhesse and @kelramsey at @waiting.in.hope Infertility Ministry have brought this hope to bear in their new book, “Waiting in Hope.”

This is the book I would have read from the bathroom floor on the nights I wept for a baby and God felt so silent and far away. This was the book I wished I had walking the lonely journey of infertility—too ashamed to ask for help, or even prayer. 

If you are a woman #ttc let this book be the gift you buy yourself for this Mother’s Day. 

Like two, gentle loving sisters who have walked this path, Jen and Kelly will lead you to wait in Hope—for the One who himself is Hope.

He sees you. He hears you. 
And you are not alone. 
Not anymore. 

There is a beautiful community of women, full of faith, compassion, and hope that long to come around you at @waiting.in.hope . 

But you can start here, by reading these 31 reflections for walking with God through infertility. You will be so glad you did. I promise.

**a few notes about these pictures.
I wanted this book with my tulips because I have to wait so long through the winter for them to grow. They are to me, the symbol of hope each spring.🌷

Second, to get the book to lay flat, in pic #5 I had to open my hand. And it reminded me, of how infertility was a season of unclenching my fists, and opening my hands in faith and surrender and worship. Open hands are also the only posture for receiving. And I pray this book opens yours.

May this book bless you and infuse you with real, living, tangible hope. Which is, the hope of Jesus. 🌿

Purchase at 
@waiting.in.hope and follow this amazing community of support! #ttc #infertility #infertilityawareness #hope
Ah, the words I most needed to hear this morning—once again—come from God’s Word through the prophet Isaiah! A woe to those who are tempted to trust in FLESH and not SPIRIT. (That’s me!) And a call to return to the Lord, the Holy One of Israel. For he, too, is “wise and brings disaster.” 

I love what Alec Motyer writes in his commentary—which has counseled my heart so many mornings, but especially this one:
“The Lord never merely reacts to events as if sprung on him. He has prepared all beforehand is totally master of the situation.”

I encourage you to read Isaiah 31, and see Motyer’s notes here. See if your heart does tremble at the Holy One of Israel. See with what piercing accuracy the word of God penetrates your heart. 

And his final note—the blood of the lamb did not seem like enough for the Angel of death to pass over—but it was. His ways are higher than our ways, his thoughts are higher than our thoughts.

Whatever God says, is true, and right. He alone is God—He is totally master of the situation. More than we could ever know or understand. He is worthy of all trust, all praise, all worship. I remind you, as I remind myself:
Do not rely on the flesh, for what only the Spirit of God can do. 💛
💛 💛
“I invited you, but you did not come.” It see “I invited you, but you did not come.”

It seems like a love letter, sometimes, this book, raw, aching words—though they come from God. What we see here is an invitation and a reproof. I imagine it almost like getting a beautiful wedding invitation, saying “this is what we could have had,” but then at the bottom are the painful words, “…but you were unwilling.” 

You refused to trust me, you refused to come after me, and you frantically panicked and went after other gods—who cannot save you. 

I don’t mean to add anything that’s not there, just pondering this one line out of the whole chapter 30 of Isaiah. I’ve wanted to write this verse at the end of cards and letters, “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength…” and just end it there. Except I cannot edit out the very heart of God to fit my nice letter of comfort. The reproof is attached, “But you were unwilling.” These words pierce my heart. 

And I only share them to marvel at the heart of God. To allow His words to be wielded, to let them pierce our hearts. Nothing is sharper than the word of God. And it is good to ponder His word—even when it brings a sorrow, it is a godly sorrow that leads to repentance. It stings sometimes, but we must read the whole counsel of God. We must not gut it of the difficult parts. For in it, God’s heart is exposed to us—and it’s a heart so loving as we’ve never seen in anyone on earth. (Except, in the person of Jesus Christ!) 

Shortly after this, the Lord calls his people back, so tenderly it brings me to tears. What kind of love is this? What kind of God is this? Surely one who is worthy of our whole hearts, and whole lives, and ALL of our trust. 

Let us stay close to His Word, that we may know his heart. Nothing is more piercing or precise for today. He knew what He was doing when He breathed out these living words. We need them. They are life to us—for they lead to HIM. That we may know HIM as He is, and not merely as we think Him to be. 🧡 He is more wonderful than I ever thought, and still far greater than I know. I cannot probe the depths of His heart, and yet, through His word and Spirit, He probes the depths of mine.
Oh, listen to what God says in Isaiah 51:5-6! 
💛 

Lift up your eyes…

“…but my salvation will be forever, 
and my righteousness will never be dismayed.”
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