I was painting in the garage, and she was drawing a rainbow on the cement floor with chalk when she said, “I’m glad God gave me you to me as my Mommy.”
I wasn’t ready for it. “What?” I asked, making sure I heard her right. She tried to say it again, but her words came out a little more awkward this time, and she said something like, “I’m happy your’e my mommy from God.”
Tears filled my eyes.
Then she prayed, “God, thank you for giving my mommy to me. And thank you (I couldn’t understand this part.) And thank you, she makes me breakfast. And thank you we’re going to make pumpkin spagotti (biscotti). I hope it tastes good. Do you think it will taste good, God?”
Then she opened her eyes, and went back to drawing her chalk mural–while my eyes blurred with tears, and a huge lump came to my throat. Where did that come from?
She’s three…and I didn’t know her little heart could hold such gratitude. Or that it would just burst out of her, during this subtle moment in the garage. Or that she would thank God, outloud, for me, right then.
Usually, she doesn’t even want to pray out loud–even with me encouraging her. But today she felt something inside her.
Her little heart can hold more love than I often know.
Her little mind…is not so little as I think it is. She thinks far beyond what I would expect.
“Thank you, Selah,” I said, smiling. “I’m so glad God gave me you as my daughter.”
I would have hugged her right then, if my hands didn’t have white paint on them, and if there wasn’t so much junk between us on the floor. The drawers I was painting, and an old wooden chair.
“Did you have to wait a long time for me Mom?” she asked. (I have told her the story many times, but she wanted to hear it again.)
I stepped across the junk on the floor and came a little closer to her. “Yes,” I said. “I asked God for a baby over and over again. But He didn’t give me one for a long time.”
“And when me and Daddy found out you were in my tummy, we were so happy!” I told her.
“Do you know why God took so long to give you a baby?” she said.
“No, honey,” I said. “I don’t know.”
“I know why,” she said.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because…He was making me,” she said.
He was making me.
I looked into her deep blue eyes, that seemed to know something from another world, and her blonde tossled hair russled in the breeze. And in that moment, she seemed a thousand years old.
He was making me.
And that answer was enough. And my heart resounded with the truth of it, “Of course He was. Of course, that’s exactly what He was doing, Dear One.”
Because now that I know her, and know how special she is–it only makes sense, that it took so long. I don’t know what God was doing with her up there. There is just something about her, that seems as if she spent a long time on God’s chest before coming to mine. Almost as if heaven didn’t want to give her up.
And I say this with tears, to you, barren ones…
Who are waiting for your baby prayers to be answered.
Who are praying every day for God to give you a baby. To give you life.
I don’t know why it’s taking so long.
I don’t know if He will give you a child through your womb, or through foster care, or adoption.
But either way…if you are waiting right now, and you don’t know why it’s taking so long.
Maybe it’s because God, the Maker and Giver of Life and every living thing…is still in the process of making your baby.
We can’t even begin to comprehend what is happening in the heavenlies, in the unseen, and what, or who He is forming.
His ways are not like ours. His timing is not like ours.
And perhaps if He’s moving so slowly, and He’s taking so long… It’s because He’s forming something so breathtaking and beautiful…it cannot be rushed.
He is in the process of forming a masterpiece.
And maybe one day, a little masterpiece will stand before you and say, “I know why God took so long to give you a baby.”
And you will say, “Why?”
And they will say,
He was making me.”
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So. So. Perfect and beautiful! ❤️
Thank you, God, we praise You!
I needed these words so much tonight. Thank you for sharing.
Staci Samuels says
All I can say is thank you.
Melissa Karn says
Needed this so much. What a beautiful story.
Thank you ladies for sharing your story Rebekah!
5 years TTC
3 years an infertility patient
6 failed rounds on Femara with IUI
10 failed rounds of Injectables with IUI
6 failed rounds of trying to get to IVF
1 whopping failed IVF cycle.
4 more months trying to get to IVF. All in vain.
Then the truth. Dr.’s advice this past July. Quit or donor egg.
Produces zero quality eggs even on the highest and most aggressive protocol.
Chance of success even with IVF and all aggressive techniques applicable was less than 1 percent!
Chance of success on my own of conceiving naturally? Laughable. Just the thought. Never.
Bled aggressively all summer long. Had to take a break off all meds.
August came. Pregnant. Natural pregnancy. What?? The shock. I prayed hard. So hard but it was not His time.
September comes. Period is 4 days late. Doing the unthinkable. Running a pregnancy test so that I can finally finish my last IVF cycle and move on with my life. After all, we paid for 2 cycles up front.
Run the test. Negative. Husband looks at test. “Hun, I’m sorry, it’s negative.”
Lay the test on the counter, it’s one of the cheap Dollar Tree ones. Revisit test in an hour and look again. Still negative.
Hold the test at an angle and then I see it. The HCG strip was hidden under the opaque plastic. It was positive all along!
Call the office. The shock of all, especially after a chemical pregnancy the month before. After all, this is the woman who can’t get pregnant. Medically impossible. Put on guard…do not get your hopes up.
Not me. I’m a woman of faith. God can.
First HCG 444
Right after being told I had zero percent chance with my own eggs, I got pregnant 2 months in a row naturally on zero drugs.
And the second pregnancy? I’ll be holding this miracle in May.
I stand in awe of The Great Physician. His Love. His Timing. His Grace. His Mercy. Because not only did He give me this child in my womb, but He’s not making face another hopeless IVF attempt.
Tomorrow I go for my first sonogram, praying they see what they need to see to confirm pregnancy but trusting Jesus. He’s got this. This is the power of prayer. 5 years of it.
God bless you! 🙂
I love your story. Thank you for sharing and hope you have a healthy and happy nine months.
wow amazing ….how old are you ?? LOVE that mans world tells you too old but God… 🙂
Wow!!! We just had a complete failure with IVF. We have a sperm issue and are being told we can try again. Easier said than done.
Thank you for sharing.
Leah Johnson says
Please tell us how it goes!
As i sat here at 7am I’m crying so many years with so many emotions after reading ur ladies stories. Gives me hope, faith that one day after so many yearly struggles that God will see fit in his own timing to give me and my husband our lil rainbow baby, NO BODY knows this sort of pain unless u have walked those miles. It was meant for me to get up and read this. I’m never up this early and therefore wouldn’t have seen it. Bless u ladies n ur families. May God be with u all. Again thank u more than u cld even imagine ??????
May God give you multiple birth
Lisa Keener says
I love this. We tried for so long and were told we wouldn’t have a baby. Was so heartbreaking. We finally had our miracle. He is the best thing ever. I realized we had to wait so long because we were just waitong for him to be ready to come to us.
Yes, our children ARE a gift from God !
He alone could create such a miracle !
God waits until he knows we are truly
ready to put his miracle in our care….
be they born to us or sent to us in other ways.
Tammy Wood says
Thus is so Sweet.And God does everything in his own time , Because only He knows what is Best.
All in God’s timing. He makes everything beautiful in his time.
This is so beautiful. Ands it can apply to more in life than just having a family. God is making something beautiful while we wait.
Amen! God is doing something in the parents as well!
Jamie Lazette says
Amazing timing for me. I was just staring at my 7 week old daughter (my first rainbow girl after losing my first daughter to SIDS) and was whispering to her how much I love her and how I’ve been waiting for 9 years for her to come. I then thanked God for the gift that have been bestowed upon me, including the wait for my baby girl ❤
Patti Elzy says
Very touching! Sadly, I’ve miscarried every one of my babies. I stopped counting at Ten. Had a death sentence with stage 4 Ovarian Cancer at age 41…God healed me. I turn 60 in 2 weeks…& for the most part I don’t morn much anymore. For the most part…
I just want to hug you.
Someday you will see all your special ones again. Praying for you. ❤️
That comment was to Patti.
God loves you so much sweetie.Serve him which ever way he wants.Youre specila.He gave you grace to handle it
LeeAnne Carlson says
And often that masterpiece is the empty mother. God did much work in me during the years of doubt and emptyness.
Absolutely beautiful. God’s timing is always perfect
Thank you, i am reassured why I am still waiting !
I totally believe in Him. It’s all in his hands, just keep the faith. My heart pours out to you. What a beautiful mother you will be???
Elezabeth Pierce says
Samantha Buttler, this is for you….. God is still making your child ♡♡♡
Morgan Mcleod says
Thank you that was perfect I needed this I’ve been losing my ways over not having a baby thinking that God isn’t giving me a baby because I’m with the wrong person or I might have something serious wrong with me or just maybe he don’t see me fit! But this answered my question why it has taken 3 years for me not to have a baby!☺️
Beautiful I married at 19 and took me forever to get pregnant I had my first at 26 my second at 28 my last 32
Beautiful beautiful…. i can relate i will soon share my story! I always wanted too do this! I waited along 11 years… for my special Angel. Dont ever give up… keep on believing … #teary#
Kelly Barnes says
Thank you have been waiting 8 years. 2 or 3 through trying on our own, 3 through adoption never had a match, and the last two months started fertility treatments. It has been so painful at times. Finally feeling god’s peace and giving it over to god. Thank you for remembering those waiting on their miracles. 2 of my friends shared this with me. So beautiful what your daughter said.
Sally Hicks says
I was never supposed to be ABLE to have a child, according to the Professionals..It took a long time, but I have her, and now she has one, too. My Daughter is my MIRACLE BABY! and IS SHE EVER A MIRACLE! So is HER LITTLE GIRL! BLESSED BEYOND MEASURE!
Lesa Caputo says
Tonye Townsend says
Crying so hard right now thinking of my beautiful son that Jesus made and how he went to heaven at so young . I thank you Lord Jesus for 27 wonderful years
Thank you so much for sharing this moments to me. I needed this.
I waited 21 years and I have no doubt that God’s timing and plans were perfect! His birth mother told me that it was God’s plan for me to be his Mom and He used her to give me this Miracle…Oh how I love my heavenly Daddy who made me Sammy’s mommy! Truly humbled and blessed. No words…just a grateful soul that He picked me!
As a mother…this touched my heart and made my eyes fill with tears! This was the perfect story!!
Just out of curiosity, how do you pronounce Selah’s name? My daughter’s name is Selah and we pronounce it “See-la” emphasis on the first syllable and no one ever says it right the first time. Is that how you pronounce hers?
Awesome! We actually pronounce ours “Say-lah”–and we also get mispronunciations! I love the name 🙂
My heart is breaking not only because this this is a beautiful story but also because my husband and I have been begging God for a baby every day. I have faith we will have a child one day there is no way God put us two amazing people together to not allow us a child. We will continue to pray and wait for our child.
Just as many of you I also have desired in deepest of my heart to have children of my own, feel as the miracle of life is created in my womb…we tried from the simplest clomid meds to injections we decided not to do ivf as if it was meant to be God would make it happen as the God I serve is Greater then any Doctor or procedure but even then I already knew God’s purpose in our lives was to Adopt as he had revealed in to my spirit two yrs after marrying…. I tried so hard for pregnancy to happen not accepting God’s Will in my life, tears ,prayers and more tears and prayers until I gave in to adoption but not just any adoption but the one that causes fear of the unknown and the known throughout the system of Foster care the one where you know the children are full of trauma from the womb and from the life experiences they never chose for themselves from abuse, drugs,sexually abused,physical and emotional abuse that’s where God took me….and even after starting the class I questioned God why…and All I got back was “why not”….after completing the course with my husband we were matched 2 wks within ….even the social worker and case managers didn’t understand how it worked out that quick but I knew that God was fulfilling His promise …..I was matched with a baby boy 10 months old who looks like my husband and me in so many ways ….came to live with us in December 2014 and we finalized adoption in April 2015 he is my baby….I say I carried him in my heart and had labor pains for15 yrs but I wouldn’t change a thing….I realize us woman may have a dream to have children of our own but just as I did comes a time we must just let GOD guide you through and determine what He actually wants you to do …try son could have been aborted (she tried) but God had a plan and purpose…. he had been created just for me….and yes it was hard and has been as I reach my 40s I don’t have the same stamina but when I hear him call me mommy I give my all and more …so in other words never give up hope and faith because I chose to be a Mom while others choose to end their lives and mistreat them , I chose to make a difference in a child’s life and let them change mine…God bless you all and thanks for sharing your story ….it made my day
Thank you this is what I needed
You are so welcome Rebecca <3
I can’t explain how much I needed to read this just this morning…as my 4 little embryos from this round of IVF sit an hour away (hopefully healthily dividing). I needed a little hope. I needed a reminder of God’s perfect plan, timing, and handiwork. I needed this. Thank you.
This is beautiful, and I’m so happy it’s been able to bless so many people!! Love you and your family so much! Selah is such a special girl.
Your #1 blog fan 😉
This got me in tears, this is so beautiful!! What a precious daughter you have and may God keeps on blessing you both:).
I so needed to read this, this past weekend. I hope you don’t mind, but I am going to share this link on one of my blog posts 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing this. I bawled. I had to share it with my dear husband of 9 years because it opened up my eyes to see that God is making our masterpiece. My husband too was deeply touched and shared that with all the prayers he has been praying, not once did he stop to think the delay is because God is making our masterpiece. Your little girl is God’s messenger to us, to wait on the Lord. Thank you again so much.
Arden Retales says
Each of these kids are special, heaven sent!
Thank you for sharing. Being in the mother/grandmother role, my heart breaks for my daughter, watching her as each month she lives the disappointment. I ask God why He is waiting so long. Like you, I don’t know why, I just have to wait.
Rebecca Brooks Boyd says
We had four miscarriages before our daughter was born 13 years into marriage. On the occasion of the anniversary of one the losses, I waxed nostalgic. My husband just said. I look at it this way. If we had that child, we would probably not have the one we have now. So true, so true. If the world only know what a blessing she has been being created specially by God.at his leisure.
Thanks for sharing. I can’t imagine the pain of four miscarriages. However, it is so beautiful that you were given your daughter and can also see what a precious masterpiece she is. <3, Rebekah
In Your perfect time dear Lord..our prayers will be answered.
Yes Jane, Amen.
Precious baby girl!
My girl came early in life (i was just out of high school) but when she told me at age four that “God sure did do a good job making me,” I thought, “He did a wonderful job!”
That’s wonderful Gina! 🙂 Blessings to you and your daughter!
Soooooooo needed to read this….very beautiful story….I’m 41 and sooooo badly want a baby of my own.I’m a preschool teacher and loves kids,and your story give me new hope and now I know with all my being,nothing is impossible with God!!!! All the replies is so motivating and beautiful! God bless u all!!!!
Thank you for reading! You are right…nothing is impossible with God. May His perfect will be done in your life. <3, Rebekah
Thank you Rebekah. God bless.
This is the strangest message I have ever read.. I never reply to anything online but your story with your daughter is exactly (99%) the conversation my 3 year old has with me.
She told me one day.. ‘You just the way I wanted my mommy’… And I said and you just the way I wanted my baby!
We struggled to fall pregant with her and she keeps asking me to act out how we find out, and pretend I she is still in my tummy! How we got to the hospital and how she was born!
We are struggling again to conceive but I feel calm because I know God has a plan but then out the blue my daughter is praying one night and says.. ‘ dear god, thank you for everything and please bring my brother and sister.. ‘.. She has discussed this with me many times and says they coming…
I truly believe that these children are straight from God.. Go read memories of heaven by Dr Wayne W dyer and Dee Garnes
That is amazing you had such a similar conversation with your child! May God carry out his plan for you in his time and in his way. (And if you are trying to conceive a second time, you might like the post I just wrote called, “When You Want To Give Your Child A Sibling, But You Can’t” Much love!
Carla Smith says
I, too waited a ling time before my first child came. I discovered that I needed to trust God with my life and that if I never had a child it would be okay….No, I would be okay because God was in control. When my son was in college, I realized that God’s timing had been perfect.
Thanks for sharing. That place of being “okay” and trusting God no matter what He wants to do–is so important. I’m glad you found it–and could see God’s wisdom in the process.
Elizabeth Quinn says
We waited 13 years and then one day twins, identical twins.
Elizabeth, wow!! How exciting that must have been! Thanks for sharing:) –Rebekah
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story. I am one of the barren ones you speak of and its hard to even write such a label. My husband and I have tried for 12+ years to have a child. We’ve had 6 failed IUIs, laparoscopic surgery to remove scar tissue from endometriosis, lots of pills, lots of shots, lots of herbal medicines, mixed in with a healthy dose of prayer and faith, but never with the result we so desire- only heartache, pain, disappointment and the panicked feeling that I’m missing my chance with every passing non-pregnant month… We went through a round of in vitro last fall and it was frought with many tears and a constant and paralyzing fear of the unknown. I didn’t know what I was doing?! I’m not one of the uber infertility research queens. I envy you girls! You know so much! I’m still learning all the acronyms (lol)! So, anyway, there were complications. Apparently, they learned only after my treatments that I have PCOS. I overstimmed and almost developed HOSS. Out of almost 40 harvested eggs, only 6 fertilized… In the end only 1 made it to the blastocyst stage. 1 chance. I only needed 1, right? This was my baby. My miracle baby… Time went by and I felt the tingles and twinges and knew something was happening. Sure enough, a positive pregnancy test! Do you know how many tests I’ve peed on in 12 years? And ALL negative?! I don’t either! But it’s A LOT! To see a positive result was probably the most rapturous joy I’ve ever felt. I literally squealed and danced all over the house. He did it! God answered our prayers (those too would be hard to count)! We saw the heartbeat at 5 weeks, which was a total miracle, and I even felt morning sickness for the first time! I was sick as a dog but laughing like a giddy school girl at the same time! Now I could actually have a conversation with my girlfriends about morning sickness! I think I sent a txt to all of them that first morning! “I have morning sickness! I’m so happy!” Lol! … Over the next few weeks, I felt the symptoms wane a bit, my breasts weren’t as swollen. I just felt different. At the next ultrasound, I had an undeniable feeling of dread while in the waiting room. I leaned over to my husband and expressed what I was feeling to prepare him for the worst. Sure enough, no heartbeat. Only a dead fetus. I’d had a missed miscarriage. ??So not only did my body screw up making my baby thrive and grow healthy, but it failed to recognize that it had died. I had unknowingly been carrying my dead baby for weeks, laughing and full of hope for the future, picking out names. Tears of sadness and anger poured out in a constant stream, “I’m so stupid! Why does my body fail me over and over? Why can’t I be normal? My poor sweet husband… I have failed him. I’m a failure.” I was shattered into a million pieces. It was a huge blow. I have dealt with a great deal of tragedy, heart break and brokenness in my life… I’m familiar with it- like an old unwelcomed friend. None of it compares to what going through a miscarriage was like. It took me 3 months to leave my bedroom, it took me 6 months to leave my house… and at nearly a year now, I’m still not the same person. I feel like a shell of my former self most days. Infertility is the most painful journey I’ve ever been on. I have deep empathy for those of you going through it. It’s cruel. It’s like grieving every single day. We’re grieving our should have been babies. We’re grieving the death of a dream, the dream of hearing the pitter pat of tiny feet down the hall, the late night snuggles and feedings, the first word, the first poopy or pee pee dance, the first bike ride, the first tooth, the first lost tooth, the first moment of brilliance when you know your child’s a genius (lol) The first date night cut short because you miss your kid. The first dance, the first boyfriend or girlfriend, graduation, college, job, marriage and then the cycle starts all over. We mourn the dream of family gatherings for holidays that won’t ever be. I think about the loneliness and it overwhelms me sometimes. I feel like an outcast everywhere I go. I’m not me anymore, I’m the girl who can’t have a baby. We’re doing another round of in vitro in the coming months. I need 1 more try. If it doesn’t work this time, I can lay this dream to rest for good. I have a lot of doubts and fears, but there is hope… There is always hope. Pray we can find peace at the end of this one way or another; Peace in seeing this dream finally come true or peace that this dream is shattered for good and it’s time to put it to rest and move on with whatever our next chapter in life might be. Blessings to all of my beautiful barren sisters. May God bless you and comfort you in your sorrow and give you peace and hope for an abundant and happy future.
I am at a loss for words. But thank you so much for sharing your real, honest story. I just wish I could hug you. Though it wouldn’t nearly be enough. I cannot imagine the pain of all you have walked through these years. You are so precious. I keep thinking of this scripture from Isaiah 54 where God is speaking to the “barren woman” and he says, ”
“O you afflicted one,
Tossed with tempest, and not comforted,
Behold, I will lay your stones with colorful gems,
And lay your foundations with sapphires.” And I pray this comes true for you. That though you have been tossed and aflicted..He will come comfort you, through and through. And lay your foundation in precious stones. I know these are just words, but I believe they are true. And I pray God comes close to you tonight. That He wouldn’t feel far away or distant..but meet you in your pain. I don’t know what He will do in your womb, but I pray He restores life to you, in your heart. And that He delivers you from a barren soul. Because it can be such a dry and lonely place. I will keep you in my heart and pray for you. I hope you read some more posts on trying to conceive on my blog…not because you will learn any information or tips. I don’t have that here. But just for your soul. Just so your soul can have a place to be comforted and heal. I am praying the Spirit give you life. So much love to you Angie. Please stay in touch.
Cheryl Hartley King says
I’m sorry but I politely disagree with this. Our bodies are imperfect and we live in an mperfect world. What God gives is is strength to go on inspite of the heartaches and disappointments.
You’ve clearly never suffered through infertility and can not relate or you wouldn’t be chiming in…best to keep your negative opinions to yourself.
Disagree with you, Cheryl. Our bodies were designed to be perfectly made in God’s image. God didn’t intend for us to settle for anything less than the ALL He made us to be. He designed us to be reborn, to rise from the illusion of imperfection that we ourselves condemned ourselves to be.
Wow, way to kill the mood and sentiment of a 3 year old Cheryl.
Some people are just too much of a realist to see how beautiful a child speaking about their creator, can be. Seeing things as “real” ruins a lot of beautiful things.
I have to disagree as well, our bodies and who we are as people are “imperfect” based on society’s standards. Based on God’s unchanging words, he made no mistake in how he created us. From the top of our heads to the bottom of our feet. We are perfect in his eyes. Our lives were already created in HIS based on his perfection of us before we were embryos. The faith of God is taking a walk through the journeys we dont understand so that were are perfectly understanding and appreciative of the blessings he has ready for us in the future, just like this story. To my sister’s who stuggle with infertility just as I do, GOD has not forgot about us but is creating a blessed child that will be the exact representation of why God’s timing was actually more perfect than ours. Have faith in goodness my sisters.
Elizabeth Rose says
This post was so touching! Thank you for sharing it!! I hope to be able to have children some day and reading this post was what I needed to hear!!
Elizabeh, I am so glad you were encouraged through it! Much love and many blessings to you! <3
Cheryl its a child speaking
Heather Owensby says
what I needed to i trying to get pregant myself
Donna Oliphint says
Loved this! I didn’t have my beautiful daughter until I was 38! And then she was born with a heart defect incompatible with life. I had asked God to never let me forget that she was a miracle. At 27, the only indication of that heart defect is a white scar that runs across her chest right under her breasts and looks like a “running M” brand when she looks down on it and 3 little white crosses. Her miracle brand. After she was born, I finally realized that she wouldn’t be the same child if she had been conceived during the 5 barren years–different sperm, different ova, carrying different DNA. So I became grateful for the hard, barren years. I, too, think that when you gaze into a baby’s eyes you can see the wisdom of heaven. They know what their Creator looks like. They know His voice. So sad that they forget as we teach them the earth’s knowledge and skills.
Lillian Nardone says
This was so beautiful and touching !! So beautiful I thank the Lord and Praise His Holy Name for my two kids through all the miscarriages that I went through and Doctor’s telling me that I couldn’t have any I look at my life and remember me telling the doctor I understand that is your opinion but I have a God who created the Heavens and the Earth If he wants me to have a baby I will and he did Bless me with two little ones who are both adults !! This really blessed me!
Edie Reay says
If you never have a baby God is enough if you allow Him to be. I wanted children I wanted marriage. I did not marry until I was in my mid forties.i spent my career working with other people’s children. There have been times when I have grieved but through God’s grace I have made it through.
You make a great point here. This is something that I think every barren woman needs to come to–even if you don’t get to have a baby–God is enough. In my post “About My Barreness” I talk about this very thing. I remember coming to a place where, even if I didn’t get what I wanted, I realized it was good, and God was enough. He truly is the one who satisfies us in this life, and the next. It is wonderful when He does a miracle and gives us a child, but if He doesn’t, He has some better plan, and He is always enough. Much love,
Sherry K. says
I praying & hoping for my miracle too, after 10 yrs of a faithful marriage.
Sometimes the title is from barren to brokenness. God didn’t give a baby but he gave me years spent with him struggling against his will. He never left me when I wanted to leave him daily. He loved me when I felt I couldn’t love him. Then he gave me his greatest gift. I was broken. I wanted only to know he loved me still and to be content with that. It was such peace to stop struggling. Only then could I see every child in my family as my child to love and nurture. And then extend that love to every child at church or work or wherever I was. Does it still hurt that he said no? Of course but he always reminds me that he is enough and I am allowed to love anyone with all the love he has given me. I pray for those who were told no. I pray he gives them brokenness that leads to contentment and peace and gratitude. I have loved so many many children and thanks to him I have loved them the best I could. Praise be to him.
Thank you so much Rebekah for sharing your story. It is so beautiful & touching. I’ll be sharing your story with my pals who are still waiting for a baby. Sending my love to you & your family from Singapore 🙂
Thanks so much! Wow, I always forget how far away readers can be! Glad you found my blog somehow!
What if God doesn’t take that long? Isn’t your child a masterpiece?
Wonderful point. Every child is a masterpiece, because they are made by God.
I was once barren. I only have two children: one is the child of the womb, the other is the child of the heart. I married late in life, and went through a few years of infertility and miscarriages. Those were difficult years. However, not as bad as what we’re going through right now, mind you. Back then I had no idea why it wasn’t happening. But then my womb opened up, although I only had a small window that closed right after my first born. Life is interesting. My children are 7 1/2 years apart. I have only recently come to realize why most of it happened: God gave me time to be the mom that each one needed while growing up. We won’t have all the answers we so desperately need in this life, we are walking through fog in faith. But we have enough answers to guide us to where we want to go. The light is always on, we just need to look up and follow. In faith.
Thanks so much for sharing your story. That is amazing, and you are right that God always has a purpose for doing things the way He does. And He always shows us enough to know at least what the next step is. Life is such a journey of trusting Him through those unknown times. Much love to you!
Patricia Antrim says
That was a beautiful story,i was blessed with one child ,hes 12 yrs old,had no problem having him but i always wanted 2 children ,but i always wondered how i could love another child and give them as much attention as my first child,well 12yrs later ,using no protection because of ovarian cysts n issues with birth control u would have thought it would be very easy to have a second child, but its been almost 13 yrs ,so maybe i was meant to have just my baby boy n give him all of that love,i hate things i cannot understand but deep down i believe god does have a plan for all of us ,maybe one child was all i needed ,their are many people i no that cant have kids or havent been able too so far ,but i believe that story it took so long because god was making her perfect little self ,so always have hope and tjank u for sharing, i enjoyed reading ?
This brought me to tears, so many happy tears! It does not apply to me in the same way, but it still touched me in a very profound way. I didn’t have my baby until I was 41, not because I couldn’t, but because I waited to find the perfect daddy for her! That was so very important to me. In fact, when we were ready, we got pregnant on our first try, because God was finally ready for me to be a mommy, and he was all done “making her”. This was one of the most beautiful stories I have read…thank you so much for sharing❤️
God bless you Rebekah! Your stories are so beautiful, filled with so much truth, and you write so well. Im reading from Abuja, Nigeria.
Leigh Ann Naughton says
Thank you for this blog, I was searching on google.. and I clicked the link and it was just what i needed…. hope. Thank you and god bless
Nicole Gerace-Mungin says
Rebekah, The Lord used this today, 12/12/2016 to give me a fresh hope. Thank you for your heartfelt words and your beautiful insight. I have two daughters, one has gone on to be with the Lord. I didn’t think I wanted any more children after they were born so I had a tubal ligation in 2000 after the birth of my second child. In 2013 when my 14 year old died, it became almost an obsession to be a mother again. I have had people prophecy over me that The Lord would bless me with more children. I am just waiting. This blog really gave me comfort about the wait. God Bless you and your beautiful (growing) family!
Cheryl Staples says
I think it is so wonderful that you are teaching your little one about God. This must have been written last year. It says you were expecting a baby in December. I hope you and your little one are well. Thank you for sharing your daughter’s wisdom. From NC.
We have an Awesome God ??Bless you for your encouraging story for others ❤️
This month is the last cycle of my infertility treatment and sadly my period came right on the dot. I feel devastated as I’ve already pictured in my mind and felt in my heart that my long wait is over. But clearly God has other plans. Plans that I don’t understand and I was demanding for answer then I saw your post on Facebook. Thank you Rebakah for reminding me that God’s plans are better than mine. For giving me renewed hope that one day my miracle will happen. Kisses to your lovely daughter and God bless your beautiful family.
This was beautiful. It touched my heart! My daughter is going through infertility and it is breaking my heart. They have waited three years and just suffered a miscarriage, I pray that God blesses her soon.
Annamarie Plummer says
I had 7 miscarriages and 1 ectopic. Somedays I hate God.
I am so sorry for your pain, your tears, your loneliness…
i had six miscarriages… first the dr would tell me i was pregnant and by my next appointment nothing, no heartbeat, no baby. We tried infertility once and it was the only time i didn’t get pregnant… my husband and i gave up… too much pain… i could not longer look at pregnant ladies… going to the store and looking at all the babies and their mommies would just crushed me… we decided to stop trying and adopt instead… we would start looking into it after a trip to Hawaii… 2 months after the trip i found out i was pregnant… we were not ready… we didn’t plan it… we were afraid… we should not have been… my daughter was born 10 years ago… she’s my miracle baby… God ways are not our ways… Looking back, if my daughter had been born using the infertility treatment, my husband would have credited science / doctors for our baby (he is not Christian)
furthermore, i remember vividly checking the calendar before we left for Hawaii, to make sure i would not be ovulating during my trip… the doctors never found out why i had miscarriages but i was told that my eggs were old and only a few left… so you see, God hears our prayers, he sees our tears… i do not know why you are still waiting but He does… Trust in Him… Don’t hate Him… He sees you… He loves you…
My uncle and his wife went through 17 miscarriages over many years, some of those miscarriages truly tragic and finally their miracle Gwendolyn was born, that was 22 years ago now. But their heartache, determination, strength, & faith have stuck with me, a reminder of “footprints”, an inspiration that echoes through my life, trials, & tribulations.
thank you for sharing this. very touching. i have been happily married going on 6 years now in May. havent been able to conceive. we went to lots of different doctors to see what was going on. the last test done was the hysterosalpingography (study of the fallopian tubes). come to find out i will not be able to have any kids unless God does a miracle as my tubes are blocked. at times i have gone thru depression because when God gives us a word we believe it will go thru but we are humans and our faith at times is not at 100%. only the ones that have gone thru this or is going thru this can really explain how we feel. its difficult but i still believe God is going to give us a child! God bless u and your eautiful daughter. and God bless all the women that read this whom are struggling with infertility.
Thank you Jackie. <3
Frances Ang says
hi Rebekah, I read this months ago when we were still trying for a baby and it really touched me. Fast forward to today when we found out that we’re blessed with not one, but two babies inside me and this entry made me tear up. Your little girl was so right. No wonder it took us 7 years to finally conceive.. it’s because God was busy making our babies. God bless you and your family. Thank you for sharing your story with us. <3
Thanks for sharing. I love how Selah was used by God to let you know! She is very special!
Thank you for this. I needed to read this today. ❤️
You are welcome dear Stacey!
Kat Rizo says
I just read this again. I became a mom at 38 after years of infertility. I adopted two daughters through foster care. My life is so complete and I’m so glad God was making them.
Suzanne Hobbs says
I am now 60, miscarried my only baby in 1979. Have longed for, of course prayed for a baby since then. Even now my eyes are welling up, after reading your message. Thank you.
Joshua N Lauren says
I needed this so so much today. Thank you from every inch of my heart thank you.
Crying right know. To God be all the glory.
I have been carrying in addition to a barren womb, a barren soul lately. Moving from praising GOD to to sometimes disliking Him altogether. I have been married for 5 1/2 years soon 6 years and never had a baby, nor prevent it to happen. I feel like my womb is shut, empty and useless.
I am in a hard place: it’s a soul-wrenching, heart-breaking and excruciatingly painful, uncomfortable and bitter circumstance to endure. And I do not wish this on my worst enemy. But I try to be grateful every day, every moment. I thank God for coming through this post. God knows best I guess. Be blessed.
Casey L Allen says
I want to thank you for sharing your story. For a long time I’ve struggled with answers as to why for myself. My answers may not be the same as yours however; this gave me the first bit of peace I’ve had dealing with this. I want to again say thank and I’m so glad god blessed you and your child together.
Nina Q says
I keep coming back to read this I don’t know why.
Meg Princewill says
As I opened this link I felt the Holy Spirit say “Your baby IS coming, but the reality is – his or her life is not about YOU in the end. Your baby’s life has just as much purpose as you’ve always known yours does. So trust My timing. The things this baby will do are desinged and destined for his or her OWN “such a time as this”. I know you want your baby today, but I also know you want that baby to belong to Me. To do My perfect will – and My perfect will has a plan, and that plan has an exact start date. It WILL come. And you WILL be ok waiting, because I know YOU and I know that what you want more than a baby today – is a baby that will grow into a man or woman of God who walks in MY perfect will and THAT is the prayer I’m answering. Just hold on. It’s coming.”
Reading writing this confirmed that God is “making my baby” – not for MY perfect will, but for HIS. ❤️
I just wanted to come back to this post as I commented on it back on June 29 2018 and I wanted to share my testimony about what The Lord has done for me to encourage the faith of my brethren. This year, The Lord has blessed me with a healthy & beautiful child after 7 years of marriage. I was able to carry my pregnancy to full term and give birth with no complications. I just want to encourage my sisters that God’s delays are not denials. HE is faithful and all of you who are waiting on The Lord for the fruit of the womb, please know that He will visit you and you WILL give birth for His glory. Hold on to your faith even in the midnight hour, HE will answer. HE WILL answer. Be blessed ! Sandra (commented above on June 29, 2018)
Praising the Lord with you my sister!!! Thank you for coming back here to give glory to God!!! Thank you for sharing your testimony! If you’d like to write to your testimony, feel free to email me! There is a contact form in the menu at the top of my blog with my email in it!❤️❤️ Praise God!
Hello sister ! Praise God indeed ! I came across the post this morning as I was holding my baby in my arms & looking back @ where I was at that moment, I felt that it was necessary to share what The Lord has done so others will be strengthen in their journey & faith as I was by yours. Our God does not have any outstanding prayer debts with anyone. He always answers. Thank you so much for your platform. Remain blessed & favoured. Sandra