“Blessed is she who believes that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her.” -Luke 1:45
I have held onto this scripture tightly through every mountain and valley I have encountered. Being diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) at a young age has always struck my heart with fear that I would never be able to conceive.
After my husband and I got married, it only took about four months of trying and to my surprise I was able to get pregnant with my little girl. After she turned two, we decided that we wanted to start trying for our second child.
A year passed, and to our dismay we were unable to conceive. We decided to start seeing a fertility specialist in hopes that fertility treatments would give us the tools to make our miracle happen. After a year of tests and a surgery—we were still not getting anywhere.
My best friends had all since been pregnant and had their babies while we were still trying for our miracle to happen. Every announcement struck a mark on my heart. I was always happy for my friends, but the question always popped up, “Why hasn’t it happened for me?”
“Will we never have this second child we have prayed so hard for?”
These questions flooded my mind, until one night as I was scrolling through Facebook, I felt God speak to me. I came across a post that read, “God is saying what He said to Gideon, ‘You are a mighty warrior. You’re going to go further than you can
imagine. He’s saying what he said to Abraham. You’re going to have those children. You’re going to conceive. Your baby is on the way.”
As I read those words, I sat there in awe, as if God had come down and spoken them to me directly. I opened my Bible and started to read the story of Abraham, and while reading Abraham’s story I came across a devotional title “Faith Defined.”
It read, “Faith is believing God is with you even when things look bleak. It’s trusting Him when you don’t understand. It’s staying true to your beliefs and hanging on to the promises God has given in His word.”
I truly felt that God was listening.
For the first time in a long time I felt hopeful.
Fast forward to after that night, and my husband and I decided to pursue more extensive fertility treatments. We had three IUI treatments and every one of them failed.
In December, the week I was to have my fourth IUI treatment my biggest fear came to life. I lost my precious Daddy.
I was utterly heartbroken.
My Daddy was totally against my fertility treatments because he always said, “Emily, you must trust in God’s timing. Why put your body through these treatments? You have to trust in God and lean on His promises.”
I decided to cancel my fourth IUI treatment and take a break from fertility treatments because I knew I was not in a good emotional place dealing with the grief of losing him.
All of December was a blur.
Then we went into January and his birthday was January 9th. After we made it past his birthday, I decided it was time to change my life. I started running to cope with losing my Daddy.
Fast forward to March and I’m walking through Kohl’s looking to buy my five-year-old daughter some clothes. I walked past the baby section and I stopped dead in my tracks. I had such an overwhelming feeling from the Holy Spirit, and I locked eyes on this onesie, and I felt like God was telling me to buy it.
It wasn’t anything special. Just a little grey onesie hanging there that said, “Hello world.”
I walked away thinking, how silly, but as I tried to walk away, I felt so strongly to turn around. So, I did.
I bought the onesie and I decided I would do so as an act of faith. I decided buying that onesie was my way of saying, “God I know You will bless my family with a baby.”
So, April rolls around and at this point I’ve lost 40 pounds from running so much and I finally was starting to feel better mentally. Well here comes May, and on May 7th I get a call from my best friend telling me she’s pregnant.
After I got off the phone with her, I decided I’m going to take a test just for fun.
Guess what! It was positive! Fast forward to today and I’m now 16 weeks pregnant, not from any fertility treatments but from our Miracle Working God! To add even more to our miracle our baby is due January 17 th , and my doctor said more than likely we will have a c-section on January 9 th , my Daddy’s birthday.
God is here.
God is listening.
When you feel lost and cannot recognize yourself anymore, He still knows you and He still loves you. Keep your faith and He will reward you. I am proof that you can overcome the valleys, no matter how deep and long they are, and when you come out of the valleys God will bestow His blessings on you as you trust in His timing.
Thank you so much for sharing your testimony with us. Not only the grief of secondary infertility, but failed IUI’s and also, the loss of your father. It is amazing how God encouraged your heart through your father’s guidance, and showed up in such specific and intimate ways as you waiting on Him. And we rejoice with you about this miracle baby–due to be delivered on your father’s birthday! What an unmistakable gift from God! All of heaven will be rejoicing, along with us. We pray for a safe and healthy delivery and that the Lord will continue to encourage your heart along the way.
So much love,
Hey Beautiful! If you are currently struggling with infertility or secondary infertility, take heart that God sees and hears you, and you don’t have to walk this journey alone. I encourage you to subscribe to Barren to Beautiful by entering your email in the side bar, and also joining our closed, female-only Facebook group called, Barren to Beautiful Community. You will also find more encourging testimonies from real women in the “Testimonies” tab on the menu (hover mouse over “Testimonies” to see a list of names appear, and click through those), and there are even more articles in the “Trying to Conceive” tab. Also follow along on Facebook, and Instagram!
Praying Jesus brings your soul, from barren to beautiful.