When you are trying to conceive (TTC) and unable to get pregnant, it can make you weary. Trying to conceive, month after month, is exhausting, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
When we were trying to conceive, my emotions were all over the place. Sometimes, I was full of faith and hope. And sometimes, I felt bitter and numb inside, forcing my feelings down and not daring to hope–because it was too painful to hope.
Meanwhile, the hazy picture of where my husband and I were headed (ie. Were we going to be parents? What was next? What was the timeline here? Would we just be wandering around aimlessly forever?)
It made me feel like I was lost in the wilderness. Hot, thirsty, and confused.
Did you know that in the Bible, the desert or the wilderness was often a place where God spoke to His people? A place where He drew them close to Himself?
In fact, the Hebrew word for desert is “midbar,” which means, “the place of the word.” And we find that it was in the desert, or wilderness that God spoke to Abraham, Moses, the Israelites, Isaiah, and on through Jesus. (Source Dave Adamson.)
The desert is a place where God speaks.
It’s where He spoke to me. And I am conviced–He wants to speak to you here, too.
Even now, He is calling you, to come.
My Wilderness Story
“Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her.” Hosea 2:14 (ESV)
I still remember how “easy” I thought it would be for us to have kids. Why else would I have used all that birth control for the first two years of marriage?
I remember how I threw out my last disc of pills and thought we would get pregnant: just like that.
And…I still remember how shocked I was when my first pregnancy test read: negative.
But I had no idea, that it would be the first of many negative tests over the years. I had no idea we were at the beginning of an infertility journey–that I never signed up for, or expected.
Those months, slowly turned into years. And those years, turned me into someone I never meant to be.
I longed for a baby. I cried, and prayed for a baby. But my arms were empty. My womb was empty. And at the end of the day, I was so very empty.
In those days, I used to look out on my life and just see it as one big dissapointment. I could only see what I “didn’t have,” what I lacked. Which, was a baby.
I was trying my best, but I was miserable, and unsatisfied, and there was nothing I could do about it. (Or, so I thought.)
I was a barren woman.
Not only did I have a barren womb; I had a barren soul.
My soul had become so thirsty, and dry.
Like a barren wasteland. Where nothing ever grows.
I felt so exhausted, and weary, and angry–that this was it.
That this was my life.
And this is how I found myself, in the “wilderness.” In the desert.
You see, I didn’t know I was living in the wilderness at the time.
But Jesus did.
And He is not afraid to enter wildernesses, or deserts.
Because, He entered mine.
And He came not because I was faithful, or worthy.
He came for one reason only:
I was thirsty.
I was dying of thirst.
And that was enough. For Him to come…
and rescue me.
It’s enough for Him to rescue you, too.
This is the reason He came at all–because we are all thirsty, and we are all barren inside, apart from Him.
So, if you are thirsty–He is coming for you.
And when He comes, He comes as He is. He comes as the Living Water. He comes as the mighty, rushing River of Life–Jesus Christ.
He gives drink to the thirsty, and satisfies the broken. He waters the dry and barren places of your soul.
This is His promise, He says:
“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:19 (ESV)
So, if you find yourself in the wilderness, or if you find yourself with a barren soul…
…then there is wonderful news.
He is coming for you. He is coming even now to meet you in the wilderness.
And He will speak to you.
He will water you.
If you will listen for His voice.
He may, or may not, give you a baby, but of this you can be sure–He will give you Himself.
And if you drink of Him, you shall never be thirsty again.
So come, dear one, there is an adventure waiting. And He longs to take you from barren to beautiful, on the inside.
Meet Me In the Wilderness
That’s why I’ve created this FREE 5-day infertility devotional to help you focus your soul on Jesus, who is called the Living Water. You can sign up to get it here–>
Here’s what you need to do:
- Sign up in the form above with your name and email address–your devotional PDF will be emailed to you within 15 minutes.
- Check your SPAM folder! Sometimes it accidently ends up there. And you can add me (Rebekah Fox) to your contacts as “[email protected]”.
- Next, SAVE your devotional! I recommend saving it to your homescreen, or your iBooks (for Apple users.) This will only work if you can EASILY ACCESS it–am I right?;) You don’t want to have to dig up the email every day!
- How do you SAVE IT?
- iPhone users you can open the PDF and save it to your iBook app by exporting it there–for easy-to-flip pages (or, save it wherever you like to save your e-books, or PDFs, like Kindle, etc.).
- Android users you can save the PDF to your homescreen by downloading it and saving it as a file shortcut, (or, save it wherever you like to save your e-books, or PDFs)..
I also want to invite you to join me and the other women in our Barren to Beautiful Community Facebook group to go through this devotional together in February 2020. (Only women can join this group, click here to join.)
Please SHARE this blog post with any friends who might enjoy going through this devotional! (You can either go through it by yourself, or with our group!)
Although I wrote this devotional for women who are TTC, this devotional can still be used by women who are not in that season. It’s full of biblical encouragement for all dry, thirsty souls–
because He is the Living Water for all of us.
So, if you are tired, come.
If you are thirsty, come…and be watered by Him.
Not because I invite you, but because He does.
**Let me know if you have ANY trouble getting the devotional!!**
(You can email me at barren[email protected] or let me know in our Facebook group.)
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