This week my husband walks in the door after a long day at work to find: dishes piled in the sink, laundry all over the living room, the beef for dinner still in a frozen block, and me…looking like Frump Queen. He is gracious. And tells me to take a nap. I instantly obey. (Inwardly rejoicing.) And while I am sleeping for 45 minutes, he manages to clean the whole house…while watching our daughter. (A feat I clearly was incapable of accomplishing today. Many days.)
One part of my feels grateful the house is clean. I can relax now, right? But the other (bigger) part of me feels guilty and defeated. He just worked the whole day at his job, and then came home and did mine, too. Isn’t this why I am staying home?
Every day I have this desire to accomplish something. But every day it feels I accomplish nothing. I try to clean something, but I don’t finish. I want to do a house project, make my space more beautiful, but all those gorgeous pics on Pinterest look like something from another world. Not mine. I leave to buy something, but roam aimlessly around in the store. Nothing to bring home. I try to write, but this little person cries for all of my attention when I sit at the computer. I clip coupons and price match, and still go way over on our budget. Agh. At the end of the day, there’s nothing to show for the last 9 hours of exhausting effort. Of doing what?
When it feels I didn’t accomplish Super Tidy Housewife, or Spiritual Sage, or Fun Mommy, or Adoring Wife, or Betty Crocker, or the Likeable Friend…when I’m none of those titles, and all the opposites..
I have to wonder: “Am I enough?”
I lay my head on the kitchen table, cheek against wood, and cry. I want my days to be of worth. But feel like they are all so: Unsuccessful.
As I lay, frozen, I hear a whisper, my daughter’s whisper:
Do you remember the nights you cried on the bathroom floor in the dark? When the pregnancy tests sat negative in the trash can? Remember when my nursery was just a storage room? A place for you and Daddy to throw your junk? Remember how you longed to brush my hair with your fingers, to sing me lullabies, to hold me close? And now I’m here.
Am I enough?
When there’s dishes in the sink, and your skinny jeans sag from all the bending, and dinner’s ingredients still sit on the shelves of the supermarket, because your days are full, full of me. Am I worth your attention? Am I an accomplishment?
Am I enough?
You kept me safe today Momma, you kept me alive. You kept me fed, and rested. You played with me, and made me laugh. Does that count Momma? Am I one of your goals Momma? Just to be together? Even if no one sees it? Or knows it?
Am I enough?
Tell me Momma, did you think I’d be different? Did you hope I’d be different? Do you see me? I’m right here Momma, the answer to your sobbing prayers. But now that I’m here, is there something else you want Momma, to feel good? Do I make your day count Momma?
Am I enough?
And suddenly, the voice changes. My heart wrenches. The Spirit of God begins to whisper, making the table under my wet cheek feel more like the chest of God. And suddenly I know He’s near.
Do you remember when I said, “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for Me?” (Matt. 25:40) “And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones who is my disciple, truly I tell you, that person will certainly not lose their reward?” (Matt. 10:42) Do you not see it here Child?
All these days you live at home to serve this fragile girl, what you really are doing is serving Me. For whatever you do unto her, you do unto Me. So let me ask you:
Am I enough?
What is My worth to you? In the secret places, where no one sees? Look deeper Dear One.
Can you find Me in this place? In her face?
Every diaper, every clean, dry pair of clothes,
cups of water, Cheerios, all the laughter, every tear,
each soothing whisper in her ear.
In doing so, you so clothe Me, feed Me, hear My cry,
soothe Me with your lullaby.
If all you do is spend your days, your self, on Me..
Am I enough?
Another heart wrenching, beyond beautiful post Rebekah!! I always look back at the day and do not measure my accomplishment on what my home looks like but if there are smiles on my children’s faces. However, I never thought of it this way, as an actual service to God. You just completely strengthened my resolve I am doing the right thing staying home with my kids. Thanks again for sharing this!
Thank you Sasha! God has been starting to open my eyes to see how different His definition of “success” is compared to mine. It is a sweet revelation to see where He places value. And to realize what ministers to His heart. Thank you for your sweet encouragement and honesty. I love hearing your thoughts!
That was a beautiful post. I am guilty of feeling like nothing was accomplished if the house isn’t in order (and no kiddos as of yet, either). But this will inspire me to look to my husband and realize that as long as we are happy, with a roof and food on our table, the clothes separated by piles to be washed won’t deter me from thinking I’ve accomplished something with my day.
Thanks for the inspiring message.
Thanks for commenting Andrea! Yes, I often felt this way even (before I had a child!) There always seems like there’s some “reason” we should be doing more than we are! But, I am so thankful God sees so much more than we often do! And you are right, there is MUCH to be thankful for. It’s great hearing from you.:)
So beautiful… A beautiful heart… Loved this, may God use your gift with words to reach many and to God be the glory… Love you
Thank you sweet sister! I am touched you read this, and feel honored to have entered motherhood under your wings. Looking forward to making more memories with you and your girls, (even if it that means I show up on your doorstep in my gray sweatpants. Like last week. 😉 Love you.
Laura Castillo says
that was so beautiful may God bless you child.
This post really touched me. I stay at home with nine month old triplets and a two year old. This post is exactly what I needed to read after a very long day & night.
I’m so thankful the Lord spoke to you through this post! He is amazing, the way He meets us in the midst of our weakness. It’s funny how at the times I feel like I’m failing the most is often when God reveals Himself the clearest. I love that you have triplets and two year old! I bet they are so precious! 🙂 What you do is incredibly beautiful to God. May God strengthen you today and continue to show us moms how we bless His heart when we serve these little ones in Jesus’ Name.
I am thankful God helped me feel like I was enough back when my adult daughters were babies. Now as a Grandma, with long-distance grands, I sometimes feel that way. Amy Grant has a song with a line that touches, refreshes and reminds me… “And I only have to be what You made me; to be more or less would be a step out of Your plan…”
Appreciated your words!
Wow, thank you so much for sharing that! The line in that song is beautiful, and such a good reminder for me to be who God has made me to be. I needed that encouragement this morning. Thank you for your thoughtful response!
Thank you so much for this . I’m not a stay at home mom. I teach special needs children at a local high school. But I still feel like this. Every day. Although I love my job and my kids very much, I go to bed at night feeling like a failure because my house is a mess. This opened my eyes and my heart knowing that I’m serving The Lord by providing for my children either by feeding them, clothing them, laughing with them or even the hours we spend at the ball park at baseball practice because they love it. I’m accomplishing much more than I thought.
Indeed you are! Brook, thank you so much for sharing. Yes, you are of incredible worth and so is the love and service you show your family, and the children whom you teach. I’m so grateful God is helping you to see how very important your love for them is. By serving “the least of these” in any form, you are serving Christ dear sister! And this is truly beautiful. Thank you for sharing your comments!
Something in my spirit leapt reading this post. Thank you so much for sharing and taking the time to write and get these thoughts out for us to be encouraged and strengthened. Please, please keep writing!!
What a blessing to receive such encouraging words from you! I am delighted to discover that God is strengthening you through it! Thank you for encouraging and strengthening me in return!
May God bless you and continue to make your spirit leap for Him!
linda aluise says
Oh my dear daughter, the Holy Spirit speaks such profound truth to you! I love to read what God reveals to you. This was soo true. What a dear sweet husband you have to send u to bed and watch Selah and clean the whole house! God values the smallest and the least and the little when we do it unto Him. I love u, honey! Mom
Thank you for sharing your hear! I have five children and home school all of them. I feel this way almost every day! My God bless you in your journey. 😉
Thank you for your response! And may God bless you in the vital role you play in your children’s lives. My mother stayed home with all 5 of us, and I am amazed at what she did, as I just begin to learn the ropes with just one child! May He keep giving you the strength and love and joy as you serve Him and your precious kids!
Praise the Lord for giving you the words I needed today–and thank you for listening to His loving whispers, and for His urge to share them. Thank you for the spiritual hug I needed this evening, sister!
Wow, such a sweet encouragement. So thankful that God could speak to you through my weakness! And may we both grow quiet enough to hear His whispers…for they are life to us!
Thank you Jessica!
Thank you. I have been struggling with feelings of inadequacy and this helped me see a different perspective. I really appreciate your testimony.
You are so welcome. Praise God if he can use my many weaknesses, to show Himself to be strong, and worthy, and enough. May He continue to give you His perspective when this world tries to paint you a different one. God bless you.
Beautiful. No other words to describe this post. Thank you for writing this. I am in tears after reading this. You have captured so much in so little words.
Thank you. I am always amazed at how God is able to speak to us so intimately and specifically right where we need to hear Him most. I am so glad God is speaking to you through this!
Thank you so much for these words. It is exactly what I needed to hear while I’ve been caring for my sweet little boy who has been very under the weather and miserable this weekend. Very beautifully written.
You are welcome.Thank you for reading and sharing. I hope your little guy recovers soon! May God bless and strengthen you as you take care of him, and minister to his little heart.
Amy Juicebox says
That was absolutely BEAUTIFUL. And heart-wrenching. And precious. And even though my children are practically grown, something I still needed to hear today. Thank you. : )
Thanks so much, I know God has spoken to my heart through this, and I am thrilled he is speaking to yours as well! I can imagine still fighting those feelings of inadequacy as your children grow. May God continue to establish you and show you where He places value!
Thank you for your beautiful words. I stay at home with 5 children 7rs old to 1 yr old, and am now expecting again, and this REALLY spoke to me. I love the way you put it. Thanks for uplifting me right before going to bed.
You are so welcome. It sounds like you are in full-time ministry to your kids! What a precious role you play! May God continue to lift you up. I am the middle of 5 kids, and my mother stayed home with us. I’m sure it was a quite exhausting job, but we are so thankful for the time we had with her. I’m sure your kids will be too. May God bless your little one on the way!
I just came across your blog and this was just a blessing like you wouldn’t believe today. I have two little boys but completely identified with your cries of not having children in the beginning. I begged The Lord for my kids and now that I have them, so many days I have felt like this!! And I have an mil that doesn’t understand why I’m a stay-at-home mom. And the boys are getting older and in school (my 4 yr old only half days). And by the end of some days, it’s all I can do not to have confrontations with them getting them to bed. And my despair is overwhelming so many times. But God has reminded me over and over, like He did today with you, that He called me to this and He never asked me to do this in my own strength, and He is enough for me and He has blessed me beyond measure. Thank you for this and I hope I can be a blessing to even one other mom like you are to so many. 😉
Audrey Kopp says
Rebekah, I am so proud of you, every young mother has to read this. You have a gift that has to be shared. I always believed God wants you to be writing. Keep on, I know some publisher will want you.
When I come home from work, it’s like I get a second wind. I leave the office feeling like I’ve been tread on all day, but being in my home and getting to move around when I’ve been forced to sit most of the day gives me the energy to get a lot more done. That’s probably what your husband was experiencing. But I know how you feel about trying and falling short. Then, I remind myself that I don’t want my daughter to ever feel this way about herself, so I need to set an example and that helps me lift my chin when I feel like I have nothing left in me.
What a great post. We often get so busy with the little things, the important things get missed, or we see the important things but still feel guilty about missing the little things.
That being said, the little things still need to be done, and the important things shouldn’t be used as excuses for not doing the little things when we get the chance. It’s great that your husband stepped in and gave you a break, as he should have, and I’m sure you’re the type wife who returns the favor. But to expect the ones that have been outside all day to work inside upon returning is unfair. I’m not saying feel guilty; not at all. Just don’t be upset when they choose the important things (playing with the kids) over the little things (helping around the house) also.
I completely agree with this one! In all my chaos at home with 5 kids 5 and under (2 sets of twins) I can’t say how often the Spirit has whispered this to me that indeed to try not be super mom and just enjoy them because that is true service. No one will remember that my house was clean for 15 minutes after I spent all day cleaning it, but my children will remember what I did with them in that time. What a blessing it is to be a mother! I have learned that “unaccomplished” things is a waste of time to be negative about when there’s so much I’m blessed with.
This post spoke to me deeply. My husband found it and shared it with me. I sat in his arms and sobbed. We tried for many years to get pregnant, and were never able to. But God blessed me with 5 amazing children through foster care. Only 3 still live with us, and I’m a stay at home mom to them, ages 2-6.
I’ve suffered from a hard depression in the last few months and have had these thoughts continually. To have it put this way has touched my heart tremendously.
I cried, and prayed, and begged God to bless me with children. And he did. They are amazing kids who are a reminder that God always keeps his promises.
Thank you for this post, which showed me that I’m not alone in these feelings and that there is a better way to look at it. 🙂 God bless you and your family.
Molly Ryall says
You put into words exactly how I feel. Thank you for having the courage to write it! Why as moms do we feel so ashamed to tell the truth about motherhood? We don’t have to be perfect! Only in God are we made whole. Thank you. 🙂
I just wanted to say how wonderful it is that you give such a beautiful reply to each and everyone’s comments. You are a very inspiring person. Thank you and God bless!
Jessica Mahanay says
Rebekah, this is Gods way for you to show your light to others. I prayed and waited what seemed like ny whole life for my babies and now its like I never ever feel like I accomplish anything in the day. Wife to a wonderful husband whom works hard to provide so I can be a sahm. He leaves at 7am and is home around 6pm 5 days a week then saturdays are half days. Mother to three year old identical twin boys and a 1.5 yr old boy too. And I feel like nothing I ever do is right or finished cleaning takes away time from my babies, which I know will not be babies forever. So I always go back and forth wondering does it make me or them happy to constantly be cleaning and picking up afyer them or with them or is it better to some times just sit amongst the chaos and just take joy in reading the book theybwant me to read or watching frozen for the millionth time…. or just sitting and taking in all the hugs kisses and cuddles that they so desire to give me non stop. You my dear have brought me to tears. And made me realize. … its not about perfection its about taking joy and pride in taking care of my kids cleaning doesn’t have to be rushed. It will still be there later. But. My kids. They will only be smal for a short while. Will only want these hugs , kisses, cuddles and to hold my hand for a short while. And I should take pride in doing just that in loving and caring and playing. Even if I have a dirty dish. Its all a blessing. Thank you for this beautifully written part of your heart
This is just what I needed to hear! I am 29 weeks pregnant with my second child and long story short, my husband and I have decided that I need to basically be on bed rest until we can meet with my Dr next week to see what she says. My husband is very sweet and literally won’t allow me to even do the dishes because we’d rather be safe than sorry cause my contractions start up over any little thing. So I literally feed my son, dress him, bathe him and then lay on the floor and play with him and read to him all day. I have been feeling SO unproductive and so helpless. But like you said, I need to remember that taking care of my son all day and spending all this time with him is worth it. And we like to hope that I’m also doing the best thing for our soon to be daughter by doing all I can to keep her from being born prematurely. Thanks for post!
You don’t know me, but I wanted to leave a comment nevertheless…
I just want to hug you and tell you are good, period. Motherhood is hard and no mother ever gets it all done. Your value isn’t dependent on the wife-and-mother role. So please don’t beat yourself up when you think you don’t measure up. Perfection is an unhealthy illusion.
Your successes and hard times don’t determine your value. It is innate. Namaste.
This made me cry. SO beautiful and a very timely reminder. Sometimes I get tired and frustrated and overwhelmed….but then I remember how badly I wanted this and how many tears were shed and prayers said. All those things that make me tired, frustrated, and overwhelmed? It all ends up being very much worth it.
Shari Middleton says
Rebekah, I just read this and found myself reflecting on by gone days of motherhood. I was blessed with five children, and a wonderful hard working husband. As I read, I began to realize how much I complained about how hard this role was. I didn’t listen to the Lord and realize how much he wanted to help. I was so frustrated, and couldn’t wait for everyone to go to bed so I could have some peace and quiet ! I was a neat freak, too ! And had to have everything just so-so. I look back and regret the way I handled things with such strictness and sterness. I also made it miserable for my precious, quiet natured husband, when he came home from working all day. He would work all the overtime he could to help us have what we needed. He didn’t deserve to receive turmoil when he came home ! By the time day was ending, I was spent.
I’m not looking for sympathy. I had prayed for the family the Lord blessed me with, but, I miss used the gift I was given with complaining, frustration, and grumbling.
Now, that my time with the children has ended (for they are all grown ) I wish I had let the Lord help me. But, even though, I now look back and realize he was with me, helping me, encouraging me, and loving me. He knew just what I needed, when I needed it ! He helped me take one step at a time. And my precious husband was one of the sources of the encouragement, with his ability to calm me down, and help me to get my focus off the problem and back to the Lord.
We will be married 38 yrs. this year! We have nine grandchildren ! The Lord gave me everything I asked for, and more. And, is still blessing us. What I’d like to pass on is this. If we keep the Lord first in our lives, he will smooth and direct the path we walk daily. Praise the Lord for his goodness <3
Jacolbi's mom says
I read this n had ro share it. Im a stay at home mom with a five yr old. Between baseball practicesn games, then football n basketball season also my house seem to never be clean. Even when i clean n everythings perfect we come home n within 5 min theres sports equitment n toys eveeywhere nonetheless the fact that practices r during dinner time so i have to try to whip something up quickly then im juat to tired to finsh cleankng that night so i know tge feeling this made me look at it in a different way. Ill gladly take a messy house as long as he gets to do the things he loves like sports n playing outside with the nieghbors kids ( which hes still to young to be out there without me).which cuts into whats left of my day. Thank u for this
Sian Sheaffer says
I read this and cried buckets because i often feel this way. The house is never clean enough I often feel I am not good enough for my son. At 18 months he still loves me best of all and I cried many times in hopes of having a baby one day after several miscarriages. God bless you for writing this.
Wow this really made me cry, so perfectly stated! I stay home with 6 loves, homeschooling from 16yrs to 15months and I feel like you so very often! We did not struggle to conceive, however we lost more babies to miscarriage than we got to keep, and I spent nights crying on the bathroom floor too. Thank you for sharing, it’s been a rough day!
Thank you so much for writing this. I homeschool five of my kids (the other two are infant twins), and the first part of this was very difficult to read because it described me SO WELL. Lately I have been feeling like, “What is wrong with me?!” when I see my friends’ accomplishments and perfectly spotless kitchen tables. I have begun to equate success with spotless countertops and smudge-free cabinets and crumb-free floors! No wonder my confidence is shaky; bc as a commenter above said, I can clean all day and it stays clean for fifteen minutes! Thank you for drawing my attention back to a time when my heart was broken from a miscarriage, wondering if I could even bear children. Thank you for reminding me that my checklist only exists to bless my blessings, my family. YES, they are enough! I don’t need “likes” or praises or followers…I need Jesus, my husband, and my babies. Thanks for the wake up! God bless you that you may continue to bless others!
As a sahm of four aged 1-9 who home schools I have MANY days where I feel like I’ve gotten nothing done and I’m just letting absolutely everyone down. I’m still in the process of accepting that there are more important things than a spotless kitchen or having a pinterest perfect outfit on while I create a pinterest perfect crafty thing to hang on the wall. Some days I have better perspective than others, some days I have to lay my head down on the table and cry. Anyway, this post hit close to home and was a good reminder of the most important work we do in our homes.
Thank you so much for being open to God’s voice and allowing Him to speak to the many of us who struggle with this. He has blessed us with motherhood and He so wants us to be present in these moments because they go so fast. May He continue to guide you on this amazing journey!
Thank you for your sweet, heartfelt, encouraging, and REMINDING post! I think often times we forget that WE ARE ENOUGH.
I will be sharing your sweet message with everyone I know.
Words of thanks seem insufficient and trite… but alas you have reminded me that I am enough.
As tears run down my face this touched my heart so much. As I sit here with laundry staring at me and many other chores undone (once again) I think to myself what did I do today? But here is what I did do. I cared for and loved on my two babies (both with ear infections.) I made sure their day was as great as possible. Until I read this post I would have gone to bed feeling as if I had failed during my day as a SAHM. But I didn’t I did exactly what the Lord wanted me to do today. Thank you so much or these words they really blessed my heart this evening!
Cassandra S says
Thank you so much for sharing this! I just read it after a friend shared it. You have NO idea how much I needed to hear these words. My husband and I have two boys, both with varying degrees of Autism (one severe and one not so severe) who joined our family through adoption. The last few years it seems like our family has been in a constant state of crisis with medical issues for a year and I am emotionally and physically exhausted. I have suffered from depression and my depression has run rampant and I feel like I can’t get anything done. But every day I have been able to tuck my boys into a warm bed after they’ve been fed and loved on. Thank you for reminding me of our mission at this time — the children that God has entrusted to us!
wow, this post is just what I felt God speaking to me. Just before I came downstairs to read this, I was putting my two daughters to bed. While nursing my 2 month old I was thinking about all the things that need to be done and what my routine will look like and what I should be doing for the next couple of days since I don’t have anything planned. Then I just felt a soft whisper of a voice inside telling me to “just rest in Me”. And then again, “just rest in Me”. That kept resonating with me and brought me peace and calmed my anxiousness about how am I going to get through the next day? Today went well, but what is going to happen tomorrow? Is it going to be a crazy day, will the girls be fussy, will I be overly exhausted, will I accomplish anything? But the thought that all I need to do is just rest in Him is so comforting. Then I read your post and this so beautifully expressed what God was just speaking to my heart. I never thought of this from God’s perspective or from my daughters’ perspective. That really changes how I feel about what I do every day. Thank you for sharing.
I so appreciate your heart and your comments. “Just rest in Me.” That is exactly what I needed to hear at this moment. Thank you for reminding me of that. Going to write that on the chalkboard in my kitchen right now. Ah! I love how God speaks to us!! He is so good. Thank you for your words!! And letting God speak through you to encourage my heart.
Thank you for this. I can’t count the days I’ve tried to get things done during my children filled days, and it seems like nothing is done when the hubs walks through the door. God has given us a high calling as mommies. Beautiful!
Melody K says
You have no idea how much I LOVE this blogpost. Thank you so much!!
Ah, so so good…and so relatable. I had a similar experience just today. My husband comes home from work and happily takes over so much and seems able to handle and accomplish so much more than I am able to do all day. I start to feel restless, bored, or like I should be doing more, and then I remind myself that I won’t regret not running more errands or cleaning more deeply, but I will regret not relishing every precious moment with my baby boy. I will regret missing his rapid growth, amazing milestones, heart-melting smiles, and unconditional love if I am distracted by other things. Every time I am nursing him and busying myself by checking social media, blogs, email etc and I glance down and he is staring up at me I feel awful. I have to remind myself to stop and just be with him…who cares what happened on facebook since the last time I checked it 10 minutes ago! Every second that passes my baby is getting older and bigger….every “boring” moment at home is so incredibly precious and I want to remember what an important and rewarding job I have right now. Thank you for this post.
Reblogged this on Whispers & Dandelions and commented:
Wonderfully written! So true!!
I felt as thought you were telling my story. Thank you for this post. It couldn’t have been better witten.
Rita Hampton White says
You know I always felt as if I accomplished nothing when my boys were growing up! I spent my days filled with making them happy! I tried for 10 years to have kids and the doctors said I would never be able to carry a child to full term. God Blessed me with 2 beautiful sons. This story really touched home for me!!! Mine are now 32 and 29 and no longer at home but the difference between then and now is that I don’t have the energy to do my housework and I feel like such a failure now at the end of a very long day because I did nothing all day!!! Thank You for this because I never thought of raising my sons quite like this. Back in the day I just always thought that I was finally happy with two small boys who needed me and the house work could wait!!! They were my life and they needed me more than I needed a clean house! Thanks again! HUGZ
Thank you for this Rebekah!! As women, we are already hard enough on ourselves as it is. Then we go throwing more fuel to that fire. I am going to save this on my Facebook wall so that I can read it over and over again….or when I need it most. Thank you!!
Rebekah, thank you SO much for this post! I needed this so much. I’m actually a grandmother who quit my job to help take care of my grandchildren. My son and daugher-in-law are wonderful parents, but they have to work and it was a problem finding someone reliable to watch the kids after school, during school breaks and during the summer. God really impressed on me that this was a job I needed to do. This is my second summer to keep them and lately I had begun to feel that what I do is insignificant. Thank you for the reminder that absolutely nothing is more important than knowing that my precious grandchildren are in a safe, loving environment. Knowing I’m helping to shape my grandchildren’s lives is worth far more than having a “real” job.
Reblogged this on The Memoirs of Tiffani and commented:
This is beautiful
As I have read through these comments, I realize I may be the only man, husband and dad responding. I am in awe and tears from the reality of this post. I see my wife at the end of the day and she is, most times completely drained, and many times at the point of tears and I often feel helpless and sorrowful for her with huge responsibility she is tasked with. I work all day and try my hardest to provide for her and my children allowing her to stay home and keep the home and care for the children and many times I am spent when returning home and often don’t acknowledge the day she has put in. The few hours in the evening I am home, the kids completely sap what little I have left and many times I feel myself becoming short-tempered with them simply because they need my attention…shame on me. I thank you for the post in reminding me what I already knew, that my wife is a champion! She does an amazing job providing love, teaching the household humility, responsibility, compassion and sacrifice, of which is a true example of Christ Himself. My wife provides strength, stability and order to my life and our home and I am confident by watching interactions between she and our children they are growing in the bond of love, trust, maturity and responsibility. Though she may feel defeated at times with how she thinks the house may look or when meals are served, or how much laundry is piled in the corner, I will do my best to help her realize that the most important things she could be doing, she is already greatly accomplishing. She is truly a virtuous woman and we are blessed to have her as our wife, mommy and friend.
I am putting a link to this in my blog. I am so grateful for you and sharing your heart in this blog. <3 you are such a blessing!
what a lovely thing to say about your wife. I hope she sees this
I loved this! How quickly I had forgotten how hard I prayed for God to give me just 1 child. He blessed me with twins! I often feel like a failure and forget what a blessing they truly are but your post has opened my eyes to how important some things are and how insignificant other things are. I really needed to read this today…..Thank you so much!
Wow. Thanks for your beautiful words. A friend shared your post on FB because it spoke to her and now it’s spoken to me. As my wife & I prepare to welcome our first son this summer and my wife gets ready to leave her job, these are words I needed to read. You’ve given me another valuable perspective on the internal struggles of motherhood that I know my wife is already wrestling.
One more thing, this time directed to your husband: Dude, you’re a stud. Period. Big internet-high-five headed your way. Thanks for modeling servanthood, bro.
God’s peace be with you both.
So beautiful! Thanks! <3
This is SO touching and has reached deep in to my soul. As I let my twin girls fuss around in the crib because I just needed a break, I am feeling guilty I did not enjoy their presence as much as I should have this morning. When they wake up,.. today will be different. Thank you.
Ginny Marie says
I feel this way so often–I often think if my husband and I switched places, he would be better at staying home with the kids than I am. Such a wonderful reminder that God is enough for us. I had children later in life, and am so blessed to be mother. 🙂
Thank you. This has changed my life.
Wow! Thank you 🙂 I needed that encouragement! With a 6 year old with ADHD a 3 & 2 year old the last week of summer break has been chaos! I keep praying this month would go by fast because I don’t have patience… This broke my heart in such a good way and gave me a new revelation to the blessing I have to be home with my babies! 🙂 thank you!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this. This is so me right now and exactly how I feel…unsuccessful. It seems as though there is no reward in being a stay – at- home- mom. I’ve been struggling with this feeling for over 2 years now. I really really needed to read this today. It never occurred to me to apply those words of Christ to my situation. I can’t say it will change me overnight but your post hopefully started something in me. God bless you.
This is the first time I’ve read your blog! I was having a hectic morning and was already running low on energy. I sat my children in front of the TV while I made lunch and tried to scrabble to clean up before my friend stopped over. I wondered what she would think of my messy kitchen. Your post touched my heart and made me pause for a moment to thank God for my amazing blessings. My husband and I struggled with infertility for 7 years. I was angry with God and confused and found myself in a very dark place. I was blessed with identical twin girls after one round of fertility treatments than a surprise baby boy 2 years later. Some days I’m overwhelmed and I forget that the hearts and minds of the three little people in my living room are the most important. Thank you!! God Bless!
What a great post. May I suggest you read Micha Boyett’s book titled Found. It is a beautiful book about the service of a mother, her search for God in all things common, and being Found by God in all of it. Hold your baby and take in all God had given you.
My sister sent me a link to this post, and it’s stopped me in my tracks today. I have been feeling exactly this way lately…am I doing enough for my daughters? am I doing enough for my family? And the answer in my head is always “no”. But Gods answer is so clearly “yes, yes yes”. Thank you beautiful person for this today.
(And you definitely have a new follower starting today!)
Helene from Norway says
I randomly found your blog, and I must say, it moves me. I’m in a season of my life that has lasted oh so long, were the desert is all I see. I long for God’s life-giving, splashing water, but I refuse to let Him in. Your blog touches my heart, and challenges me to let Him. At the same time it gives me hope – I’m not the only one who has gone thorugh sand storms. Thank you!
Oh, my! I am crying my eyes out. You so hit the nail on the head with this one…this is the most beautiful thing I’ve read in a very long time and something I desperately needed to read. Thank you, Lord, for speaking thru this precious woman. Thank you, Rebekah, for allowing God to use you as a vessel to speak to so many of this that feel the same way. God bless!
Although, I don’t have children, I spend my days taking care of elderly in-laws, keeping books for a relatives small business, run my own small business from home, and work as a singer on Weekend Evenings. I have these same feelings, as I never get any of these things done when I think they should be. My husband comes home and I am a mess! Every day I have those inadequate feelings. But I am encouraged by this post as GOD gives me the strength to deal with it all. He provides me with all my needs. I sometimes feel like He is sick of my whining when I have a bad day. But He has blessed me beyond belief. He knows the desires of my heart. So my service to my relatives is my service to HIM. I give HIM all the Glory, Praise, and Thanks for being such a marvelous Savior, Provider, and Friend.
Yes, what you are doing is so important! Caring for older parents is certainly caring for the “least of these,” and in doing so, loving Christ. I am so thankful God is opening your eyes to the vital role you play in his kingdom! Do not lose heart! He will give you the strength–and His strength will be your joy.
New SAHM says
I needed this more today than words can describe. I’m new to the stay at home mom job (recently quit to be home with kids) but have been having a difficult time adjusting. Thank you for putting this into perspective!!!!!
This was very helpful. My husband works hard to provide for us and on days that he comes home to a messy house and an unfinished supper I feel so guilty and he always says but you’re doing the best job in the world you’re taking care of our son. I don’t always fell better after he says this but after reading your words I feel so much better. Sometimes I feel like our should have a “real” job that provides money so I can feel like I’m pulling my weight, God just spoke to me through your testimony to remind me that being a stay at home mom is a REAL job and just as valuable as being home money. Thank you so much!
Emily Sherwood says
This post really touched me. Thank you so much for sharing. Lately I have been having so many days where I feel this way. I am a stay at home mom to a beautiful 11 month old and am currently at the end of my 5th month of pregnancy. Between running around chasing a 11 month old and being 5 months pregnant I am so exhausted by the end of some days that I find myself doing the same thing. I want my house to look that out of a magazine and be the perfect housewife, but some days it seems impossible. The bible verse you shared really hit home with me. It gives me a new perspective on being a stay at home mom with my children and has really encouraged me. At the end of the day, making sure I have spent my day serving God is what is important and by being with my children and taking care of them and putting their needs first that’s exactly what I am doing. That verse will always be with me from now on. I can not thank you enough for sharing this. This has given me a new strength that I will embrace from this moment on. God bless you and your family.
Lisa Raye Morris says
What an awesome expression of exactly the place I find myself most days. Wanting to do more, be more. Thank you for the reminder that my unseen days still count.
I REALLY needed to read this today! I read a lot of blog posts and I don’t know that one has ever brought tears to my eyes the way this one did. You have a beautiful gift!! Thank you for reminding me that my sons are so much more important than the state of my house!
Reblogged this on Love You Big As Sky and commented:
I’m not particularly religious; I claim spirituality more than anything, but I do hear still small voices when I take the time to listen. Every once in a while, it’s someone elses’ voice that gives me the message.
As I read this blog, tears flowing by the end of it, I couldn’t help but think: this is so………me. And the Samurai. And HotRod, Bird, and especially Diva because she is the youngest. She has to deal with being the littlest in all of the commotion of the bigger-than-hers.
NOT that she is more important than HotRod or Bird, but sometimes I hear her say these things to me in my heart.
Especially today…. Oh my goodness, especially today. Diva was such a terror to everyone, and I see that maybe it was because she didn’t feel like she was “enough”. HotRod and I had a long talk at bedtime, and we both agreed that Diva was extra rotten today, and looking back, it was because she didn’t feel included. Today we all had things going on, and she simply had to go along, and the tender age of 3 doesn’t agree with schedules that do not include something for them. So yeah, today, Diva was screaming “Am I enough?” and we didn’t pick up on it. Excuse me while I cry for my mistakes, so I can learn from them and make tomorrow a better day….
Love You Big As Sky…
I absolutely loved reading this. It spoke to my heart. I spent all day with my 4.5 month old son but felt like I hardly got anything done on my to-do list. Yet he was a super happy boy today because it was just us. No commitments. No errand running or play dates. Just us. He is enough. I’m so blessed to have him. Thank you for the beautiful reminder.
I’m trying to gather my thoughts for a response but I just sit here sobbing. I want to print it out and post it on my wall. I believe your words are spot on for so, so, many women. Only a few will leave a note but rest assured you have touched more than you can imagine.
This is truly beautiful. A few years ago after several years of abuse and neglect my body broke and my mind quickly followed it. Each day i plead with God ‘Am I Enough’. Today He replied ‘you are enough’ just do what you can and i will take care of the rest.
Reblogged this on My Wonky Life and commented:
After years of abuse and neglect my body broke and my mind quickly followed it. Every day i plead with God, ‘Am I Enough?’ Today my daughter tagged me in the post on Facebook, today God answered and said ‘You Are Enough.’
I need to print this out and hang it ALL OVER MY HOUSE! I’m a mommy of 6 and my home is never what its supposed to be, I’m also trying to accomplish career goals for our future. My husband keeps telling me, you can do more later when the kids are older, don’t worry…. But I worry, that I’m not doing enough. Thank you for such an amazing and insightful post, looking at my babies I now know I’ve got so much more than enough 🙂
My wonderful husband works a demanding schedule so time spent with family is precious. I work a part-time job weekday mornings, and my afternoons and evenings are spent doing housework and keeping our two-going-on-thirteen-year-old daughter content. There are days that I want to fall to me knees and beg her to explain to me why we have to watch Frozen six times a day, why she wants juice instead of the chocolate milk she just asked for, why she will peepee in the potty flawlessly but still insist on doing her other business behind the couch, why my not allowing her to wallow all over my nearly folded laundry is so emotionally devastating??
But this post…this post puts everything in perspective for me. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom.
Thank you so much for posting this. I actually have to work full-time as a mother of 2 boys and it is something I struggle with often. I feel the same way, though, when my house is in disarray and I have so few hours each morning and evening to juggle my family and my chores. This week I came to the end of myself and have been begging Jesus to speak life into my soul because I feel worthless…I am not enough. I think He’s using your post right. now. And He is enough. Peace be with you!
This article reminds me of a paragraph I recently read in “Stepping Heavenward”
” My dear child, what a question ! If there is any
one truth I would gladly impress on the mind of a
young Christian, it is just this, that God notices
the most trivial act, accepts the poorest, most
threadbare little service, listens to the coldest,
feeblest petition, and gathers up with parental
fondness all our fragmentary desires and attempts at
good works. Oh, if we could only begin to
conceive how He loves us, what different creatures
we should be ! ”
Stepping Heavenward (Elizabeth Prentiss)
Artemis (@BeingArtemis) says
This brought tears to my eyes. I’ve been feeling like less than enough all week. Especially when rent is due in two weeks and I’m juggling, yet again. It didn’t help when I wrote that I need to learn to live in the moment and assume God will help with my needs and a friend said I should also learn that things I consider ‘needs’ aren’t necessarily what God will take care of. It feels like I’m spinning my wheels most days, with five children and this neverending weight on my shoulders. I hear about what others I know are doing with their lives and it’s hard not to feel like I’ve accomplished nothing in life, while everyone else is making creative achievements and traveling around the world. It doesn’t help when I feel like I’m living in my husband’d shadow of greatness. He can do anything. I’m just the woman who popped out five kids.
It sounds like a pity party, doesn’t it? It’s not meant to. Especially since what you wrote helps put things into perspective. Especially when my youngest son looks at me every day and I feel such love radiating from him. When my teenage daughter calls me her best friend. When my other children want to tell me about every thought that enters their heads. I guess I am enough for those who matter.
Reblogged this on cavelife and commented:
I have only been a mom for three months but I already resonate with this. I am also beyond thankful for a mom that put me and my sister before the tasks that needed to be accomplished.
Paige Rion says
This is beautiful! Thank you so much for this. We all need reminders like this from time to time. I can definitely relate.
Letitia Kilgrow says
Thank you for being so open. I’ve felt the same as you, and my husband is awesome, but I have seen his eyes when he comes home and things aren’t “done”. We are in the process of trying to put our condo on the market so that our family of four (living in a very small two bedroom house) can finally get something in a safer area and there are days when I’m just tired of packing and cleaning and laundry. My boys are 5 and 3 and most days I just feel incredibly inadequate to take care of these guys. Thank you for your words as they are encouraging many! God Bless.
This is perfect! Reminds me of a post I wrote about the same time this was written – http://www.whatsupfagans.com/2014/05/parents-you-are-doing-good-in-the-world-today-charity-begins-at-home/
You ARE enough and you are doing good in the world. Thank you!
I absolutely loved this, I have been through the same exact thing…. Thank you for posting!!
Dianne Henderson Schenk says
This mom in the article…..that’s me. I have three children, ages 8, 5, and 3. My just-turned-5 yr old son and my 3 yr old daughter are home with me during the day, every day. I feel like such a failure, often. I feel guilt and discouragement and wish I could just be better than I am. I began to cry the “ugly cry”, about halfway through reading this article. I’m not alone. Other moms experience the same thing. And more importantly, I’m not alone because the Lord IS here, He DOES care, and He ISN’T pointing out all my failures. He’s offering me comfort and peace and love. Thanks for reminding me.
Still Times says
This brought tears to my eyes. What a wonderful post!
Still Times says
Reblogged this on Still Times – Our China and Life Adventures and commented:
A well written piece, “Am I Enough”, by Rebekah from Barren to Beautiful. A must read for any woman or man. Yes, you are enough!
Lyndsey Mimnagh says
CRIED my eyes out. I feel like this more days than not as I raise my 14 month old and am 5 months pregnant. Thank you <3
I have so many times felt like I am the only one who can’t manage to get the house clean while watching the kids, who constantly feels like a failure….or at least not successful. My husband also seems to get it all done so much more easily. Thanks for the comfort nod knowing I’m not alone, and the encouragement of putting it in a new light.
Phyllis Nelson says
In My life I have discovered that people are more important than things.
the time with your children are far more important than your house. YOu can keep house when the kids are raised. Enjoy them while you can. the time is far too short with them to worry about the worldy things. They will love you for your time. Your husband will love you for being their mother. It reflects on Him too.
GREAT post. Thanks for sharing your heart here, and the gospel. My husband and I both loved reading your words and found all of it so relate-able.
this was truly an answer to my prayers today. I have been blessed with a beautiful special needs child with a syndrome called MPPH. He is 4 and learned to walk, a blessing we never thought would come. His walking often poses him danger if I am not ALWAYS 5 steps behind him. I feel like the other 3 children, and husband get only the tiny bit of whats left of me at the end of the day. That only adds to the feelings of inadequacy and getting nothing accomplished for the rest of my family. I am so confused as to why I am resenting my perfect son that doesn’t understand, I don’t want to resent him. Today was a low point and I happen to see this shared on facebook. Tears flowed. cleansing tears. I have lost sight of the things that are most important. Likening this to the savior, has opened my eyes. I have a new excitement to follow 5 steps behind my son tomorrow.
Thank you for being an answer to my prayer today.
I felt as if I was reading my own post. Thanks for sharing. I am struggle now with should I work or just stay at home. This is such an answer to my prayers.
What a wonderful husband to remind you that you are *enough * and to help you on those difficult Days…
My husband is highly critical and highly resentful of my role in the home, to the point of being hateful and cruel some days. Even when the house is perfect and dinner is ready he never notices and inevitably even makes up a flaw just to dig at me.
I truly needed this Biblical reminder that what I do is priceless and counts for eternity! So THANK YOU!!!
I covet your prayers to stay encouraged from day to day that what I do MATTERS.
Santa Jones says
Your article “Am I enough” brought tears to my eyes and really gives a different perspective in life! I was over over taken with unspeakable feelings. I found this article can apply to work situations, and when we are just down and feel like no one listens or that we are alone. When actually we are not alone and that all we have to do is reflect on our surroundings, because God is near by. Great great job on this article and it should be No. 1 on anyone’s must read!
Amen. This is the same lesson the Lord taught me in the throws of a Very Bad Day when my firstborn was just tiny. God bless you, sweet mamma. You are enough.
Thank you for helping to remind me as a husband that my wife is always enough for me and that I should be more supportive and listen to her day rather than try to fix it.
Patti Hughes says
You are enough , just remember your reward cones much later. Your Children will remind you of things gone right. They remember hugs and kisses much more than a clean floor. Promise!
It made me realize that what I do for the boys is more than enough and they are my everything.
just saw this on a bad day, thank you. No more children at home but still not able to do all the things I should and need to do. Thanking God for the wonderful man that helps and supports me even after a long day at work.
*Tears* Wow, what a beautiful message… I’m still waiting for a little one of my own but I hope that when that day comes I will remember that she/he is enough. Thank you for sharing!
I saw this posted on MS earlier this week. I really enjoyed the read. Great pictures too<3
My first little one is on the way. My husband and I just moved into a new, much bigger house and I’m overwhelmed. So needed to hear this. I feel defeated most days. Thank you for this. It was a blessing.
I just started the study, Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World and this is the very thing I struggle with. How to do I take care of the house, play with my daughter and feel good and the end of the day that the house has not been taken care of. Thank you for your thoughts!
I love this! I remember praying and crying out to God to have custody of my grandbabies. I am now adopting them and needed to read this tonight. I actualy blogged about it tonight! alesiahamlinblog.wordpress.com
Theresa Gordon Braddock says
Tears of Joy!
Theresa Gordon Braddock says
Every mother and father should read this
My husband always has been encouraging and said, “Did the boys eat? ” My response has always been yes. He then asks, “Did you take care of the boys?” My response has always been yes. He said then you accomplished something. Then he kisses me. Sometimes our expectations get blown out of the water. When we get all our to do list done, many times we didn’t even pay attention to the most important things, which are not things, people.
Just so beautiful! Thank you for sharing your heart
Rachel Riebe says
Truthfully and beautifully stated. We need to measure our “accomplishments” by what Jesus wants of us – nothing else. Thank you for sharing.
Michael G says
Great article. It’s very easy for my wife and I to forget these principles when there is “To Do List” that never seems to go down. Thanks for the reminder!
This is a beautiful message. I loved reading it. If the improved outlook doesn’t help keep your spirits up, you may be dealing with post-partum depression, a medical problem, not a character flaw.
Wow. I could have written every line.. Thanks for the perspective.
Thank you fornwriting this, I can think of many times I need to remember Iam enough
I have felt the exact same way since staying at home with my little boy, who is now two. Everyday I look at these working women and men that come home and clean, make dinner take care of their kids and I feel totally worthless because I can’t seem to accomplish those things in the twelev hours that I have during the day. I can not thank you enough for this article, you have reminded me that those things are not as important as raising our beautiful kids or even those without children or who are struggling with health issues or other needs, just to get through a day is rejoice enough. As I read this through tears I am so eternally grateful that someone else feels how I do, and even more blessed that you have found an answer to your and mine a likes hardships of not feeling like we’re enough. You have completely restored my way of thinking! God bless!!!
Wow! This is so beautiful. While I have no more ‘littles’ to spend my day nurturing and caring for, my efforts now go to caring for my very ill husband, far, far earlier than we both ever imagined. I was also reminded last week that everything I do for him, I do for the Lord as well. It changed my whole outlook on our new challenges.
Angelia Mullins says
I have a similar story. Thanks for sharing. It has made my day a lot easier to bear. I needed a different perspective .
Jill S says
Reading this again before the kids wake up. My preschooler shoved the toddler down and whacked her head on the floor. AT BIBLE SCHOOL. The pastor saw it and had to notify me (in front of witnesses) so they couldn’t get sued. I wasn’t told that, but I know how it works. Thankfully she’s okay, but how do you tell a 5 year old, sorry I have to take you out of bible school because you can’t behave? AHHH. We can’t have a brain damaged toddler, though, so that’s her only strike, she does anything again and we’ll have to separate them. Beyond frustrated. So I’m reading this again and again and remembering that whatever I teach I have to teach again and again so it sticks and that it’s worth it in the long run.
Adrian rogers Harward says
Every Mom (and Grandmom) can identify with this. Thanks for posting it. Beautiful moving words.
Joycia Bell says
I am not even yet married, believing for my husband as I approach 40 years of age…..and this encouraged me about the NOW. I may feel unaccomplished and abandoned but all my time w/God, family and church looks different after reading that. :))
What we need to remember is that God is enough! We are nothing with out him. We can try on our own strength every day to be enough for our families but with out our Father we will always feel we didn’t make the mark! This is not about how we measure up each day, but more about how our days can be rewarding and full filling as we take care of our children and husband’s with the help of our Father. Lean on him for your strength that is where you will feel like you are enough!
It’s all about God’ strength and grace not about us. He see’s us as perfect in his sight because the blood of Jesus makes us who we are!
Thank you for this post. I had a similar experience when home with my oldest daughter, and the Spirit whispered to my soul that doing THIS job was so important, that I was raising a child of God, that the choice I made to leave my employment for pay was the right one.
On a day like today, where I’ve done nothing more than cook dinner; and I feel like I should have accomplished more with my day off; this is exactly what I needed to read. I work 5 days a week, I’m not home to tuck him in most nights, and the days I’m here and I share snuggles with him and we sit and do nothing I always wonder if I’m giving him enough. Reading this reminds me that I’m giving him everything that I have, even when I am working.
Domestic Zombie Wife says
Kate Cousino says
The context is different…but this is essentially the experience I had when I found myself at my parent’s home with three kids, one a newborn, having watched my life and my marriage crumble around me. Completely betrayed and confused, all I could do was cry and pray and hold my baby and ask “Why wasn’t I enough? What was it all for? What is the point of anything, if I can’t even do THIS?”
And the answer came when a dear friend pulled me out of my funk and made me realize that my children are enough. They exist for their own sake–not to fill my husband’s or my desire for children, not to create the perfect looking family, and certainly not as burdens or obstacles for me. They ARE and I was doing them an injustice in letting my pain and grief blind me to the wonder of that, and the privilege of holding them each day.
And realizing that reminded me that I also exist for my own sake. I am also enough. And that I had betrayed Christ so many times and that I was experiencing, in my betrayal, only a fraction of the rejection He experiences whenever we turn away from his ever-abundant love. I had so much to give and it hurt so much that it was unwanted. But here I was, not even close to having a heart open enough to receive Christ’s love fully.
It saved me. It still saves me, every day.
Melanie James says
Thank you for sharing this! It was exactly what I needed to read today. My day was so much better because of it, and so was my children’s day. It stuck with me so much that I just wrote a reply on my blog.
We totally just talked about this on Sunday at church (more generally speaking than just motherhood, obviously) – http://revolvechurchnj.com/sermons/sermon/2014-06-08/idol-factory–week-4—-success
Kate Kresse says
this is so beautiful. in my own struggles with infertility and infant loss, i struggled. i know my husband did, too. i wish you a blessed and rich day…..
So beautifully written, it brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for this. 🙂
Cynthia Anne Womack says
THANK you for sharing this with us. I hope you also remember that even when you are ‘inadequate’ you are serving by receiving as well as giving. You are permitted to be imperfect and vulnerable so God can maintain you instead of your trying to rely on your own strength. You let others support you so they can feel important (and have permission to be finite and uncertain themselves sometimes). Your downtimes are a reminder that you are not a human having or a human doing. Your gift,your calling,your purpose define you as a human *being* -nothing more and nothing less. You have value as a wife and mother but that is a product of your significance and not its origin. Your family is enough. Your God is enough. YOU are enough. There is a part of the Creator that is revealed through you alone. Don’t see that as a burden you are stuck with. It is an affirmation that all that is required of you is existing in the Lord and He in you. The rest will come from that nature as surely as water exists as wet,fire exists as warmth and love,order,creativity,reason,justice,health and peace exist as a result of the Source that is your Source as well. Anything you do,all you do and all you are will be derived from who you were designed to be. Be as thankful for this as those wise enough to love,respect and believe in you.
Reblogged this on The Sassy Peach and commented:
This is such a great perspective to have.
Reblogged this on grace abounds in deep waters and commented:
:::tears::: He is enough. And my Little One is enough. Even if I have More Than Enough waiting to be done.
Emily @ My Love for Words says
This was my day yesterday. My husband came home, did more cleaning in a hour than I did all day, and I felt horrible. Thank you for this!
Becoming A Titus 2 Wife says
Reblogged this on Becoming a Titus 2 Wife and commented:
This is so good and hits home!
Thank you for sharing your walk with us. I reposted this, because it so perfectly describes the things done in secret that Jesus cherishes.
You all must remember, taking care of a child or children is the most important job in the world. Many parents don’t think that is the case. Many parents should not be parents.
Kelly Korinek Wilson says
Thanks for the beautiful cry. I am touched by your words and your transparency. Such a beautiful piece.
Don Miles says
The great equalizer, the wave smoother, is time. As my Mother would tell me, time will take care of it”. and you know what? She was right, every time. Leave it alone, and let God.
Joy @TheMamaMinute says
This is beautiful <3 I had to fight back the tears. Thank you for sharing this part of your story. I know this feeling all too well… I've just quit my full time job, in part because I wanted to spend more time with my son. Now I go through days wondering why I haven't accomplished anything but the reality is… he, I and God… are all enough.
Wow, that is awesome! I can certainly relate. I’m sure that was a hard big step; may God bless you with joy as you spend time with your little guy! 🙂
Danielle G says
Thank you for sharing this. I understand this and can completely relate. I am so appreciative that other mothers share there story so that we can all connect together, rise together, and pick each other up through each others beautiful words; especially on days when we ask “Am I enough?” Wonderful.
You are so welcome! Yes, this has been an expected way of connecting with so many women, and more encouraging than I ever thought! 🙂
Goodness I wasn’t ready for this overflow of tears but I thank you. Thank you for giving me what I needed just when I needed it. Thank you for putting things into the right perspective. And lastly, thank you for sharing. Be blessed.
Thank you! I’m so glad you were touched by it! May God continue to strengthen you with joy and peace.
Reblogged this on Squeaky Lemur Mama and commented:
If you haven’t seen this yet, it’s well worth a read!
This spoke so deeply to me – for the days when all i’ve done is soothe a crying baby, and the dishes didn’t get done, the laundry is all still dirty (and I’m not allowed to run the dryer after 7 pm. *sigh*), and my husband comes home and cleans… What a perspective change this brought me! How can I say that serving the Lord is not enough?
Society has impressed upon me the need to be perfect, and to “get done” “enough”.. whatever that may be. But i’ve begun to realize that if I really wanted to succeed by those standards, I would have to pay less attention to my son – sure i’d be “successful,” but at what? Not at raising my son, which is the one reason i’m staying at home and not putting him in daycare!
Would I like my business to be more fruitful? Yes! Would I like to be a stellar housekeeper that doesn’t have dusty shelves and a dirty bathroom? Yes!!!!
But I would rather have a happy, well loved son who knows how much I love him, and how much God loves him. A clean bathroom isn’t worth more than the giggles of my son. Folded laundry isn’t worth more than watching him balance and try to walk, then comforting him as he falls flat on his face, praising him for his efforts, and assuring him one day it’ll happen.
How can I say this isn’t an accomplishment?
Thank you for your comments and sharing! I’m glad you understood the message so clearly! May God bless you as you serve your little one!:)
Can we be friends? No, I mean like really. I can’t tell you how much this spoke to me today. I spent seven years crying alone on the bathroom floor in the dark for children. I lost a baby. I gave up on IVF. The doctors said I’d never have a natural child. I went through the hell of foster care. And in the middle of that hell I somehow became pregnant and now I have an adopted 2 year old boy and a 1 year old daughter. And all of those lessons about worth I thought I’d learned through all of that hell…about being a woman and being worthy despite not having kids….have now all somehow transferred to how NOT good of a mother I am and how I’m NOT quite as successful (okay, nowhere near as successful) as I want to be in my writing career. I cried reading this, because your words are my inner thought life on a daily basis. Thank you for this letter from my “children”…your words are their words. I need to let some of this worth junk go. I need God to help me do it somehow. He gave me these blessings and while life is messy and overwhelming…man, I have a lot to be thankful for.
Yes.:) Wow. I am amazed at what God has brought you through, and how He has blessed you with these two little people in such a unique way! I am so glad you can relate and may God continue to open your eyes to what He calls “success.” Success can’t always be measured with our eyes. There’s not always something to show for all your time and effort. But God sees. He sees it all, and He sees your heart dear sister. May He open your eyes to see Him in all your daily life. Us moms put so many expectations on ourselves. But may God set you free to only live the callings He has called you to! Thanks for your kind words.
After 10years of being unable to have children we had 4 babies in four years (through a combination of adoptions & unexpected pregnancies). There are many frustrating days, seemingly unproductive, where I completely relate to the first part of your blog…I found such comfort in your words, thank you.
Wow, 4 babes in 4 years. That is amazing! Thank you for your comment!
Amy Hagerup (@amyhagerup) says
Caring for children is the most important job a woman can have. The devil tries to make us feel different – inadequate, unfulfilled. Hug them, love them, cherish them. the dishes can wait. and bless your husband. blessings, Amy
Jenny T says
I love this! THank you! “Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling…It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for. (Ensign Nov. 2011, 28)” This was shared with me just two days ago! I know I am on the right path when in within a couple days even just three woman are thinking along the same line! I know God is in my life! And, what an amazing calling!-not easy, but wonderful. A love that only a mother knows! Thank you again, for sharing!
I really, really, really appreciate your comment. That quote is perfect. You are absolutely right! I think the Lord is trying to tell us something we all have the tendency to miss. He places value on things sooo differently than our culture does! You are welcome, and thank you for your encouragement!
wow thanks for sharing! Jesus is everything ewe need. Isn’t it nice to have everything!!
Yes, He is more than enough for us.:) Thank you!
Stephanie Reynolds says
This post spoke to the very center of what I’ve been struggling with and and answered the very core of why I’ve been feeling the same things you shared in the beginning of your article.
This spoke so much to me that I would like to use excerpts of your article for our MOPS video (I am our Publicity rep for our MOPS [mothers of preschooler] group in Manchester, TN) with your permission. Please feel free to continue responses with me via my email.
Thank you so much!
I am so glad God spoke to you through it! I will be in touch with you via email. Thank you!
For some reason I wasn’t able to send email to the email address you left. But of course you can use excerpts of “Am I Enough?” for your MOPS video. I am a new member of MOPS myself! If you could give credit, with a link to my blog, that would be appreciated. (Also, I would love to see the finished product, if possible!) Not sure if there is a way to do that, but if so, let me know when it’s finished. 🙂 I am thrilled God is using this to show women where He places value. Thank you for getting in touch with me! If you have another email address, let me know, and we can communicate that way.
Thanks for responding! I’m so sorry that the email didn’t work for you! You can always reach me at [email protected] or [email protected]. I would LOVE to share the finished project with you and would DEFINITELY give you credit in this video! I really appreciate you allowing us to use your post to help us reach other moms through the MOPS program.
I know your words will touch many others through this!!!
If you’d like, I’d be happy to send you what I have scripted from your post for you to review before we film on Wednesday, July 9.
Thank you again for sharing your words and ideas with us…I know it will help make this project a powerful and impactful one!
Thank you! I am so excited to see how the video turns out! And I would love to see the finished product! I will get in touch with you through your other email address, and see if we can continue communication that way!
This is very powerful. Thank you!
Adrie | A Little Wife's Happy Life says
Well, now I’m just a weepy mess. This is incredible. Thank you for this. I was infertile for three years, and now am so incredibly blessed with three beautiful babies, but I find myself feeling this exact thing. So, thank you for the scripture and the beautiful reminder.
You are so very welcome! I am glad you can understand the core of this message! May God empower you daily to enjoy those three beautiful blessings. 🙂
Rebekah…I am blessed with four children and lost two so even though I can understand the pain of loss, I could never imagine the pain of not being able to conceive. Someone shared your post on Facebook and I cried through the whole thing. It was very moving. My youngest is 10 and how often do I pass her over to *accomplish* something! This is a powerful reminder. I shared with everyone. Thank you!
Oh, I am so glad! Even though I’ve written this, it is still a continual perspective I need to remember. It is so easy to forget and just keep trying to “accomplish” more to feel better about myself. I am glad you were touched by it!
I don’t comment on blogs and I rarely am moved to tears but this is amazing. I have one infant so I am new to this whole lifestyle and thought that I felt this way because i was making beginners mistakes. It is wonderful to know that’s not true, that I haven’t been the failure Ive felt like. My family thinks a full time mom is simply not having a job. I get a lot of hurtful passive-aggressive comments about it. I’ve noticed that women who who “want/ed” to be full time moms but don’t (in my experience, these are families who when they say they can’t afford for the wife to stay home mean that they can’t maintain their exact same lifestyle if the wife stays home, but could afford it if they were willing to make major adjustments) think that it’s the ultimate weekend. That’s the general attitude around me. Combining that with how imperfect my home is has left me feeling like I’m disappointing everyone. But I am not disappointing my little baby and certainly not my Heavenly Father. I was having a particularly low day and a particularly sinful, self pitying day. Thank you for writing this and calling my heart to attention in such a gentle way.
Thank you for writing this. Truly, God led me to read this in the wee hours of the morning that I am up, unhappy about not being ‘enough’ as I sit here in our living room with laundry baskets of clean clothes I have not had a chance to fold and baby dolls and trains all around after a day with my kids. I have to work full-time as a teacher at this point in my life. I regret every hour during the school day I have to spend away from my own kids, so when the summer comes, I try my hardest to make up for it by taking my kids to parks, painting with them, play dough, etc.. My kids are little (3 1/2 and 2 1/2, one year and one week apart!) and I love them with all my heart. We lost our first son at 35 weeks, who was actually a twin (we lost his sibling early on in the pregnancy). Our son would have been 5 this November. God was gracious and helped me work through the fear of trying to get pregnant again after our losses and was with me every step of the way through each the subsequent pregnancies, through all the fear, tears, anxiousness, and joy as our two blessings entered the world healthy. Oh the joy of hearing their first scream as they entered the world after the agony of the deafening silence of our stillborn son being born such a short time before. I think of all this and am grateful for my kids all the time, but, I very easily get caught up in “I am not good enough…I am a horrible housekeeper…I am not a good Mom or wife…I can’t keep up”. Thank you for posting this as a reminder of what is important….and it is NOT the laundry or the dishes that pile up!
I am so moved by your response, it has brought tears to my eyes. I am so thankful God has blessed you with these two little ones. And I am so glad God spoke to you through this message. What you do is truly important and valuable. Thank you for your heartfelt response. May God empower you to enjoy your little ones, whether it’s a busy schedule, or a very loose one.:)
Tonya Blythe says
Tremendous. Thank you so much for sharing.
Amanda Johnson says
Wow. I did NOT and COULD not hold back the tears. I am a stay at home mom of a 3 year old and 10 month old and this hit me hard. I have these days all the time and my husband has come home, after working 14+ hours and done the same thing for me. Ran me a bubble bath, handed me a glass of wine and cleaned and cooked. Its hard to feel defeated, like you failed your only job…but everyone needs a break sometimes. Thank you for this. It was much needed. <3 Everyone needs to cry sometimes too. 🙂
I know this is an old post so I apologize, my children are currently 3 and ten months(soon to be eleven!) And this is my life. My house is full of toys. The dishes and bottles aren’t clean. The laundry is clean, but in baskets unfolded. My house is a mess. And i wonder “what have i even DONE all day??!!” My husband comes home and I feel as though I ask so much of him after working hard all day, in the sun and the heat, to provide for us and make it possible for me to stay home. But he comes home and takes care of our children, without me even having to ask, and asks me if I want anything or need anything. He cooks, can’t say he cleans much 😉 lol, and I look around and I feel like I have failed. I’m not a good mother, a good wife, or a good house keeper (which I told him I would be if he were to get a better job, which he DID, so I could quit mine and stay home with our first) and he comes home to a mess. But he loves me. My children love me. And we are HAPPY. I pray for patience and guidance and energy for each day and some days I accomplish everything I set out to do. Some days my children are changed and fed and alive, and that’s all that matters to me. And this post, that I look back on frequently, gives me the courage and motivation to keep going. I am doing what I was meant to do-be a mother. And in doing so, I am serving an almighty God. And I know you are way ahead of me at this point, I want you to know that even now you are doing the same. We all think we are doing nothing when in reality we are doing EVERYTHING. Prayers to you and may God bless you. 🙂
Oh thank you for your honesty! 🙂 I can completely relate to you in the struggle. I do believe that some women are truly more gifted in this area than others–I am not. But I am trying my best, and learning to improve where I can. Please don’t think I am ahead of you in any way! I am learning..just like every single other mom. But it is true, when we minister to our children–we are ministering to Christ himself. And that is a precious thing. It is an honor to be able to care for our children, and our husbands, and sometimes it is seen, and sometimes it is in secret. But the Lord sees it all. So whatever you do today, let it be done to Him. Knowing that it is the Almighty God you serve. And He is, and always will be enough. Even when we don’t feel like we are. 🙂
My wife and I read this together last night and loved it. We have four kiddos all age five and under, so we’ve got that glorious insanity going on in our house. My wife related to a lot of what you said and shared it with her mama friends. As a husband who comes home to a sometimes-disheveled house (like your husband as you mentioned in the post), let me say that we get it, even though we don’t get it. We will never know what it’s like to be home in the more-often-than-not chaos all day long, but we do appreciate what you mothers do and more importantly who you are. I can’t speak for all husbands, but I know my bride is rock star superhero even when she’s still in her jammies stepping over the unfinished laundry on her way to the kitchen to make boxed mac ‘n’ cheese for supper because it’s just been one of those days. But I know she’s poured her heart into everything she’s done that day and she’s been protecting the treasure chest–our most valuable asset: our children. She doesn’t realize it most days, but she’s investing daily, pointing them to God, cleaning off the coins and making them shine. I’d have mac ‘n’ cheese every night for the rest of my life for that.
This made me cry! It is so incredible hear your perspective, and to walk this journey with others that see the value in it. Thank you so much for your thoughtful and sincere response. My husband and I both appreciate your words. May God bless you and your family, (mac n’ cheese and all.) 🙂
Reblogged this on writingwithintrees and commented:
Good morning, sister. Need a pick me up? She speaks to my heart this morning.
“Every day I have this desire to accomplish something. But every day it feels I accomplish nothing…
When it feels I didn’t accomplish Super Tidy Housewife, or Spiritual Sage, or Fun Mommy, or Adoring Wife, or Betty Crocker, or the Likeable Friend…when I’m none of those titles, and all the opposites…”
A Grateful Father says
There may be other comments here from men (as I haven’t had the time to read them all), but if there aren’t, I just want to take a moment and offer a thank you from the inferior sex. My wife shared this with me and it deeply touched us both. In the 8+ years of our marriage the feelings you expressed have been a topic of much conversation in our household and it always breaks my heart to hear that my wife feels like her life is slipping away due to her choice to “just” stay home with the kids and raise them. It hurts even more that I can’t seem to communicate to her just how much I appreciate her choice, and how important I know her work is. In this piece you a) helped me better understand her frustrations and b) helped her understand how meaningful her choice to stay home is. What a blessing to us both!
Thanks for sharing, and God bless you in your journey…
Thank you so much for letting me know how this touched both of you. I know it’s hard for my husband and I to always fully understand each other, because we are in two totally different worlds each day until he gets home. I’m glad I helped you see a little deeper into the picture, and I’m also thrilled your wife can see her immense value as well! Sounds like you guys are a great team. 🙂 May God bless you guys and your family.!
Thanks for sharing, you made me cry! I love this post. You are a wonderful writer and sound like a wonderful Mother. All the best to you.
Thank you so much. 🙂 I appreciate your response! May God bless you as well!
Thank you so much for writing this post! I’m sad to say this is the very first time I’ve thought about serving my son as if I’m serving Christ. I was instantly confronted with my own issue of discontentment–if I could just get to finish my master’s degree, I’d be happy. If I could just have a part-time job doing something…anything…I’d be happy. If I wasn’t at home all day, every day. But He has entrusted me with my son, for THIS time in THIS season. Thank you, thank you, for writing out exactly how I’m feeling. 🙂
Oh, I’m so glad you could gain this perspective! It kind of changes everything, doesn’t it? I’m learning more and more our world often puts ZERO value on the things God deeply values. We may not always get public approval, but God sees. And that makes all the difference. Blessings to you:)
These are beautiful and powerful words…thank you for sharing!
You are welcome!:)
I have never been to your blog before but found you through Carrots for Michemas and boy was that the Holy Spirit. I was just crying an hour ago about how I have nothing to show for my 32 years. I am pregnant with baby number 5 and feel sometimes like nobody cares that I stay home. My kids are all little and I feel so alone in my journey, I don’t know many other moms here (we just moved) and I wonder sometimes if my kids will even care that I stayed home with them. Thank you for you words that made me sob, but they were very, very healing.
I’m so glad God spoke to you through this, lifted your chin and showed you the worth He sees. I am the middle of 5 children. My mom stayed home with us all–and we loved the time we had with her. How constant she was for us. You are truly doing something incredible, even if you can’t see the growth in a tangible way. Much love to you!
Mackenzie (@pintsizedmama) says
Thank you so much for writing these words. I’m a mom of a 2.5 year old and an 8-week-old, and I find myself CONSTANTLY wondering if I’m enough, as a mom and a wife. And a friend, and a daughter. Your words not only resonated and let me say, “me too!”, but they also gave me hope. And a reminder of purpose. Thank you.
Wow, praise God! I’m so glad you could see this! How precious you have an 8 week old! Enjoy your babies:) And you are so welcome!
Pamela Rose Williams says
Hi Rebekah, This is a lovely post. You have managed to really, really make me meditate on how important “He” is and not myself. Oh, that we would do this more often. I thank my daughter Candi for sharing this post and praise God for you. For your gift with words and that you have the courage to share them with others. Blessings!
I’ve read this a lot in the last week and cried each time. Thank you for such sweet encouragement! I am a very new mom and needed to read this so badly. It is wonderful to know that I’m not alone and to be reminded that even changing diapers all day is a beautiful things in the eyes of God. I wrote on my blog last week about how encouraging this was to me. Thanks again!
Amanda Quist says
I just wrote this post on FB ( copied and pasted underneath) then someone shared this blog post with me and I sobbed. Hard. Ugly. Gulping sobs! It took me four years to become pregnant with my oldest Son and he is such a difficult little spirit. Sometimes I forget how much I prayed for him to come to me. You out right answered my prayers today.
“I’m usually too logical to beat myself up. The human mother is only capable of so much, plus it is a major pet peeve of mine to hear an amazing, strong lady berate herself but today…..it came. Like a flood I felt it pounding and crashing into me, blind siding me. How could I be so behind? How is it possible to have sooo much on my plate I’m not achieving?
Just the day to day stuff is like a giant mountain, bills, finding a job, how can I find a job when there is so much to do around here? Just the things my oldest has to learn how to do, ride a bike, swim, read, write, memorize site words (yes, during the summer) and that’s what needs to be done in one day. I spend so much time talking Parker off a proverbial cliff it’s difficult to get to everything else he needs to do. And what about my other children, or my self? Reading scriptures, prayers, exercising, eating right and that’s just the basics. Thank goodness I have a husband who is so helpful with the household stuff or I would really be in trouble.
When we have gone through really hard times I have had people say, “Well at least you don’t have to go through what the pioneers did”. Well I beg to differ. This world is a hard busy, busy world with so many expectations. Sometimes it can just swallow you whole.
I think it’s time for me to go listen to Elder Holland’s talk “Because She is a Mother” and cry like a baby…….”
Thank you for your thoughtful response! I agree that being a mom is tough work, and in a society that is constantly screaming that we achieve more, be more, put out more…it can leave a woman quite defeated. So thankful God places value on the things no one else will ever see, and always gives us enough strength to do what He is calling us to do. (Even if it seems like a very small thing!) Blessings to you. 🙂
Rebekah (that’s my daughter’s name too, even spelled the same, after Rebekah in the bible) ~ what a beautiful post! I am mom of 5 children & 1 adorable grandchild, so most of my children are older ( ages 23, 21, 19, 17, & 16), but I can tell you that I felt that way when they were young, & I sometimes still feel that way, now that they are older. Because I guess teenagers need their mom, too, just in different ways. As babies, they needed me to stay up through the night when sick to their tummies, now as teens, they need me to stay up through the night with them when they are sick to their hearts ~ as toddlers, they needed me to give them a hug & talk them through the activities of the day, now as teens they still need a hug & a talk, but on a far more comprehensive level. As small children, they needed me to help them learn how to clean & cook & take care of things, now as teens, they need me to remind them to clean & cook & take care of things. They used to need to tell me about their days, and they still do, they used to need me to be their excuse to not be in a situation they felt uncomfortable with (“I can’t do that, my mom said I can’t”… even though I had no clue about it ~ I always told them “you can always blame it on me ~ just say I said you can’t”) , they still do use me as an excuse, only now they say “Ah, I don’t think my mom would be very proud of me if I did that.” They used to ask me to kiss their booboo’s all better, or their dolls’ booboo’s, now my kids ask me medical advice questions. (“Mom, what should I use for this zit?) They used to give me their dolls to hold for them while they ran & did something, now my daughter calls up & asks me if I would maybe like to babysit for a few hours, so she & her husband can get away on a much needed date. My son used to let me rub his head to take away a headache, now he asks me for help on a prom-night hair-do.
There is no end to being a mother, or to those feelings of inadequacy, but I can promise you that if you spend the time now, putting in those precious hours, you will never regret it in the long run. Your house may not be the spiffiest on the block, & you may not look like the latest cool actress, but your children will love you & cherish you, and that, my friend, is worth every tear, every awful sink of dishes, every last-minute soup & sandwiches dinner, & every hour of lost sleep. You can never replay their childhood. Make it worth every moment that God blessed you with them.
I cry every time I read this!!! Thank you so very much for sharing this beautiful post with the world.
I also cried on the bathroom floor after negative pregnancy tests and two miscarriages. And my daughter’s nursery was formerly our storage room as well. Your words cut straight to my heart.
Thank you for reminding me about what truly matters each day. <3
(We share the same name:) Thank you for your kind response. I am so very sorry to hear about your miscarriages, that is heartbreaking. I am glad you could find comfort in my words, and the things the Lord revealed to me about how precious our roles are as mothers, and the honor that it is to serve our babies, and Christ. May you enjoy ever moment of your mothering. 🙂
Hope you don’t mind that I reblogged this! It is an awesome post!
I do not mind at all and thank you for sharing. I am glad as a dad you could also appreciate this!
Certainly! My wife went through 4 miscarriages, so I saw many of those emotions from her – and it’s made her the mother she is today! She really enjoyed your post as well. She shared it too – that’s where I saw it.
This is just beautiful, Rebekah. Thank you for sharing your heart and our Savior’s so profoundly.
With blessings & grace,
Thank you so much. And you are certainly welcome. This one came right off the pages of my journal, so it was raw. And it was real. And it was vulnerable to share. But I felt the Lord wanted me to share it, and it happened to be that so many others resonated with the message. The value of serving a child, and most importantly serving Christ is enough. Oh, so much more than enough. So thankful to get to walk this out.
Alberta Vantassel says
Am I enough?…shared on facebook, a real blessing to read. Thank you Rebekah. God is with all who let Him into their lives. ..and in every stage of life. I too prayed for a person to come into my home..my prayers were answered! I too found myself caught up with more demands of my time and attention. The person I prayed for, being more high maintenance than I figured on. Your writing helped me to see my situation in better perspective and to recognize again that it is not “I” alone in this journey.
The person I prayed to have in our home is my 95 year old mother.
I was so touched by your comment. I think that taking care of an aging parent is such a precious thing in God’s eyes. Surely, as you minister to her, you minister to Christ also. What you are doing is of such great worth! Thank you so much for sharing your perspective. That is amazing.
Oh this post hit my heart in such a deep way. I can so relate and your words have brought healing to my tired soul tonight. I am so encouraged. I am blessed by your writing. Thank You.
I am so glad that you were encouraged by this post! That is the very reason I write at all. This was one of my most vulnerable posts, and yet, it’s the one that seems to touch the most hearts. So many of us moms feel this way, and so many don’t realize the important privilege or value we have in ministering to our children, and to Christ. Thank you for reading. May God bless you and your kids. 🙂
I am so glad that you were encouraged by this post! That is the very reason I write at all. This was one of my most vulnerable posts, and yet, it’s the one that seems to touch the most hearts. So many of us moms feel this way, and so many don’t realize the important privilege or value we have in ministering to our children, and to Christ. Thank you for reading. May God bless you. 🙂
Oh my I <3 this!! I feel this way all of the time! It is so hard to balance everything in life.
I found this several months ago somewhere on Facebook, but I return to it often when days get rough. When I find myself feeling like less than I could be. And you remind me of what is real and true. My daughter is such a blessing and a gift to me, and she is more than enough. My husband works hard throughout the day, but so do I. But I have the privilege of being paid in giggles and hugs, with the tip of the occasional snuggle. Thank you for your words, they mean a lot to me. And they make me cry, but in a good way. 🙂
Thank you for your beautiful words of response to this. I love how you said you get paid in giggles and hugs and snuggles.:) How true! I too often struggle with the feelings of not accomplishing things, or at least as much as I wanted to. It is tough because we live in a culture that tells us daily (directly or indirectly) we need to be producing, and doing, and accomplishing more. But in my life, that’s just not the reality. Everything takes me a long time. But the most important things (and often the ones no one will see or congratulate me for) God always gives me the strength and ability to do. I think I will do some more writing on this topic soon, just because I am still struggling with it. And need to keep remembering what is really important. Thank you so much for your encouragement, and may God continue to reveal to us in more and more ways what is and Who is, “enough.”
Danielle V says
TEARS!! Thank you for this post. I really needed to read this right now….
I work part time from home and I feel like I never get anything done. My husband points it out way to often too! He told me this weekend that he’s going to put in more hours at work and hire a cleaning lady. I told him to afford that I might as well quit my part time home office job so I could have more time to clean. And all he said was “but would actually clean?”. My “uselessness” is tearing me up inside. I’m tempted to go back to work full time and put the kids in daycare. At least bringing home a paycheck would be proof of some accomplishment. I love being able to be with my daughters though. I don’t want to miss out on anything!
You are certainly in a tough spot. I believe being with your kids is an accomplishment in and of itself. No one will be clapping for you as you change diapers, and scrub the toilet, but God sees the things you do, and you are valuable in His eyes. So don’t underestimate your worth, even if no one else sees it. At the same time, I know we are called to honor our husbands and take care of what God has entrusted to us, so I pray that He will show you how to do just that. Some husbands are really blessed by a clean house, and others, not as much. But if your husband loves a clean house, perhaps the Lord will show you a way to do it (even if it means dinner is super easy!) 😉 I’m no pro at cleaning tips or time management…so I can’t offer you those. But what I can say, is cry out to God about this, right now, wherever you. Because He is close, and He cares deeply about you, and your husband, and family. And I believe He will answer you, in perfect wisdom and show you the way. Much love to you.
Oh my…someone IS like me! I googled “feeling inadequate as housewife and mother” and this popped up. As a mother of four ranging from 12 to 2-two of them high functioning autistic-I find it so hard to feel as if I’m accomplishing anything. I am supposed to be writing a book, been supposed to be writing a book for as long as I can remember, but between juggling IEP meetings,coaxing independence out of my special needs kiddos, potty-training the sweet but stubborn toddler, helping with homework that is slowly creeping beyond my expertise(ok. Sometimes rapidly racing), trying to encourage my wonderful husband in a fledgling business, and maintaining a minimum level of cleanliness, I find my head collapsing on my laptop more days than not-if I even get to open it, that is. And, as has been the go-to stance of this very insecure gal, I begin to wonder if I am enough. Will I ever be enough? And, when, try as I might to manage every problem, prevent every hurt, smooth over everyone else’s doubts about themselves, something spins out of my hands and fails, I am excellent at berating myself, slow to give myself the mercy I extend to others, swift to take the blame for not being “good enough”. Grace has always been great for all those other Christians, but not for me. Needless to say, I am the poster child for guilt. Your words are welcome reminders to embrace His grace,to celebrate the beautiful gift of motherhood for all it is, even when it looks the least beautiful to us or even to the world. Because, even when we can’t see through our tears, He can. His vision is never cloudy. He looks down on His own like we look at ours. Even when they are filthy, smelly, raggedy, snot-nosed, hollering,rebellious or ,ornery, we look on our kiddos with love. And so does He. Thank the Lord! And thank you for your candid and timely words! I surely needed them today! God bless!
I just found your blog tonight. Such a blessing! I cried as I read this as a stay at home mommy to triplet three year old daughters and a five week old son. My days are so full- of the running, the working, the constant chores that never do actually end, and the sound of four little voices calling for more of me, the press of four little bodies against me begging for one more game, one more story, one more hour of my undivided attention and care. And I’ve so often wondered, when I look around at night and see the messy house that I cleaned four times that day, the filled dishwasher I already filled and ran once that day, the growing piles of dirty laundry when I just finished all the laundry that morning, whether what I’m doing is enough…Whether I’m enough. You are right: I am enough, they are enough…because He is enough. Why is this so easy to forget? What more could we hope to accomplish than raising the eternal souls He’s entrusted to us?
Thank you for writing, for sharing truth that reaches deep down to change the hearer.
I am so touched by your comment. Thank you for sharing just a slice of your world with me. It sounds like you are an amazing mom. I’m so glad you could relate, and sense the importance of this calling to raise up these little people. May God strengthen your heart as you continue to uncover the weight of this calling! He truly is enough. And it’s something I need to be reminded of constantly. Thanks for taking the time to share your beautiful perspective.
Reblogged this on Me Too Moments For Moms and commented:
Am I enough? Sometimes we think we never measure up. We are not good enough. Let’s take another look at what God sees.
Awe, thanks so much for sharing Lisa! This is something I have to remind myself of often.
Thank You for letting me share this. I needed to read this tonight. Having a hard time and your words and God’s truth untangled me.
Reblogged this on autumnrose1023.
I really needed to hear that this morning. I was down in the dumps wondering when i would tackle the dishes that are from yesterday or fold the laundry that’s still in the dryer but instead I’m tending to my little one and all her needs. I need to remember who else I’m service besides her. Thank you for the eye opener.
I have been here… and recently. Thank you for the invaluable reminder that our days as mothers have value beyond what we see as we look at the stacks of dishes and all of the other “unfinisheds” we come across at the end of the day.
Just want to say I come back to this blog post again and again, and I cry almost every time. God spoke to you so beautifully and it is echoing out to this mama who needs to hear the same whisper.
I wrestle with this constantly. Even though the Lord spoke so tenderly to me, I still forget what He said sometimes. Thank you for your sweet encouragement, for this mama grows weary, too. Thanks for reminding me I’m not alone. Perhaps one day, we will stand before the Lord in all His glory, and He will ask us all over again, “Am I enough?” And all we will be able to do is weep with joy, because He was always enough, so much more than enough.
Thank you!!!!! I needed this today I as I have repeatedly battled believing “I am enough”. I kept hearing the question in my heart returned back to me. Just as you did, “am I enough” and I knew God was speaking. Reading this totally settled any doubts I may have had, so again, THANK YOU! Xoxo
Leticia, I’m so glad! Blessings to you! 🙂
Thank you! Beautiful! So need to read Thai today ?
Nicole Bowers says