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Barren to Beautiful

His Ways Are Not Like Ours: (And This is Good)

Growing in God· Infertility· Trying to conceive

30 Jan

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My hands tremble as I write these words. Because I don’t know what it will mean in my life.

I tremble at the thought of grief–where I never expected it. But also I tremble at the thought of joy.

Where I never expected it.

Because,

His ways are not like ours.

I read it in Isaiah 55 this week:

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

Isaiah 55:8-9

I’ve read this passage many times. I’ve often wondered at it, tried to stare into it’s mystery. Trying to see more of it. Like the way I stare into the sky to see the stars that look so small. My eyes cannot behold what they really are, in their full blazing beauty, with all the hazy miles between us.

And so it is with Him.

His ways are not like ours.

And this is good.

It’s good in a way I can’t always wrap my head around, or heart around–here. On earth.

To say His ways are good doesn’t mean they are easy or they make sense to us. To say His ways are good–is to speak in faith.

Our eyes can’t always see the goodness here on earth. But our hearts can believe that one day, when we stand before His throne in heaven–when the stars are no longer distant specks in the sky, but feel as warm and close as sisters, and when angels’ voices we hear, and saints and elders and nations bow low before His throne, in the posture of worship before the King–that on that day–when the wisdom of God is at last revealed in all it’s fullness–we will say with warm and happy tears,

“Yes, Lord, yes. All your ways were good.”

I don’t pretend to know what it will be like. But knowing His character, and His kindness I can only imagine the deep healing (the healing of the nations) that will take place in heaven. The deep soothing, and consoling work of Christ, who took all our suffering and grief upon Himself–how much deeper will that healing go, when we are together, face to face?

How will it feel to be wrapped in His arms and His warm thumb is wiping the tears away from your cheeks, slowly, and gently, and He is speaking something into your ears (too mysterious for you to have understood on earth), then the healing will go deep down into you, and taste sweet like honey.

I can only imagine this. And it will be better than what I can imagine.

I have to keep an eternal perspective, I have to imagine what it will be like in the end, in heaven–otherwise, I simply cannot bear it. All the grief. That is here.

Not only from my own life, but in my friends. In people I scroll through on Instagram. Not just the evil in the world. But the stories of people dying. The emails I get from so many grieving women. Some who could never concieve, many who miscarried, and others who gave birth to stillborn babies. Grief that is so deep, I cannot even begin to wrap my mind or heart around it.

What can I say? How can I respond? Except to grieve. Grieve with them.

I do this. And I pray.

I bow my knees on the cold floor and bow my face low. And when I pause before Him, I realize how exalted He is.

I am before the LORD. The maker of heaven and earth.

I don’t know what to pray, and yet I tremble before the one who made the stars, who opens wombs, who breathes life into babies, who heals the body, who rules the nations.

And whose ways…are not like mine.

He openly declares this. (Isaiah 55:8-9.)

And recently, I realized that God is offering deep comfort in this passage, one I had not seen before.

“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth,

making it bring forth and sprout,

giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,

so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;

it shall not return to me empty,

but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,

and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.”

Isaiah 55:10-11

I’ve often heard this scripture in the context of sharing the gospel with people. I’ve heard street evangelists say to just hold signs up with God’s Word on them, and unbelievers will read those words, and they will have to have some effect, because “God’s word never returns void!” (And I’m not dissing that interpretation.) But, I saw something different, something more,

when I read it on my knees.

When I read it thinking of all the grief of my friends, and loved ones. All the prayers I am petitioning on behalf of other people. All the questions and confusion and mystery and sorrow–that I don’t have answers for–that cannot be revealed until heaven. It didn’t sound the way I read it before. It sounded different to me. It sounded altogether comforting.

Because I don’t know how God will answer my prayers, but the God I’m praying to, says this:

So shall my word be that goes out from my mouth,

it shall not return to me empty,

but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,

and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.”

 

Isaiah 55:11

Let that sink in.

His word does not return to Him empty.

It accomplishes exactly what He purposes. Every day.

Nothing in this life will be able to steal His purpose or His glory. He absolutely will carry it out in full perfection. He is God.

Every single rain drop that falls from the sky, goes where He sends it.

Every snowflake.

Every sperm and egg that meet and grow into life, are in His command.

Every person is breathed out by Him, and formed in His hands, whether they only live to be as small as a grain of rice, or as large as a full grown NBA player.

None of His commands return to Him empty. But each one, as large as the mountains, or as small as a grain of sand–accomplish the purpose for which He desires.

I don’t know what the future holds. I have many times tried to brace myself for all my fearful imaginations of what “could” happen. And it’s not helpful. And it’s not faith. Imagining every worst case scenario and trying to prepare yourself is not faith–it’s fear. And fear is something we are not called to live in.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7

So there are two things going on here. There is the grief I feel for people who are suffering. And there is fear of my own suffering and grief I will have to endure in this life.

Both are crippling. Both are very real and legitimate responses though, for living in a broken, fallen world. Because there is so much pain here.

So there is grief that it happened to them.

And fear it will happen to you.

How are we to go on living?

We can spend ourselves in sorrow and tears.

We can waste our years, entangled in fears.

But, is that really living?

I don’t know the future. I don’t know what is ahead in my life, or my kids, or those I love.

But I know this, and here is where I find my comfort and solace:

The word that goes out from His mouth–will not return to Him empty.

Long life or short. Pleasure or grief. His word (what He says, ordains, speaks into existance) will not return to Him empty.

But will accomplish that which He purposes.

And shall succeed in the thing for which He sent it.

I recently heard author Nancy Guthrie speak on the Risen Motherhood podcast. She spoke about her children that were born with a rare metabolic disease and lived only a short time.

But then she said something that brought me weeping to my knees.

She said she had to trust that “God’s purpose would be completely accomplished in her daughter Hope’s life in the number of days that he gave to her.”

And that amount was 199 days.

It makes me weep. And this is not my story, and I don’t pretend to know the pain of parents who have endured this. But from this woman who has been there, I can hear the comfort in her knowing, that as unimaginable as it must have been, she was able to rest in that God had given her the exact amount of days to accomplish His purpose.

(You can hear that incredible episode here at Risen Motherhood. )

And I have to find comfort here. Because I don’t know the number of days I have, or my children have, or my husband, or anyone else I love.

But I can know this:

His word will not return to Him empty.

It shall accomplish His purpose.

And succeed in the thing for which He sent it.

 

Maybe you are filled with grief. Or, maybe you are filled with fear. Or, maybe both?

If you are staring down the valleys of the shadows of death, if you are fearing all sorts of evil or pain…

Know that you have a Good Shepherd who watches over His word. Who watches over you.

And He promises that just like the rain and snow fall from heaven, and water the earth, making it flourish and bud—

He says, “so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth,

it shall not return to me empty,

but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,

and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.” Isaiah 55:11

And this gives us great hope, and great peace.

He has told us His ways are not like ours, that they are higher than the heavens are above the earth. And we can stare into the sky and see the little specks of stars.

They look small and dim.

But one day, we will see them as they are. Bigger than the sun, and blazing in all their beauty.

And one day, we will see Him as He is.

In all His glory.

In all His goodness.

Until then…Let us not live with a spirit of fear. But with great abounding peace, knowing:

His word will not return to Him empty,

but He will accomplish that which He purposes,

and succeed in the thing for which He sent it.

 

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  1. Lynda Dietz says

    February 2, 2019 at 8:58 pm

    As always, your words are deeply felt. God’s word will always do that which he intends it to do. I love the idea that he doesn’t even waste our tears.

    Reply

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Hi, I’m Rebekah Fox.

I was once a barren woman. I had a barren womb, and a very barren soul. But God saw me in my barrenness--and He delivered me. Not only of a barren womb, but a barren soul, too. He opened my eyes to His beauty all around me. And every day, I need Him to do it again, in my heart, and in my spirit. To take me from Barren to Beautiful. Because I am weak, and broken, and sinful, but He--He is beautiful. If the Spirit has led you here, perhaps He wants to take your barrenness away--and birth something more beautiful than you ever imagined.

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Rebekah Fox

barrentobeautiful

I help women struggling with infertility to hope in Christ and allow Him to transform them from barren to beautiful—on the inside. 🌸

You’re invited 🌿 The past 3 summers I’ve i You’re invited 🌿

The past 3 summers I’ve invited my readers and friends to join me in a social media fast—

and it has been extremely restorative and fruitful. 

I want to invite you to join me for this, because I have experienced how freeing this has been. It begins on June 1, but you could join whenever you are reading this.:)

There are two choices:
The Sprint—fasting June 1-July 1 🏃🏻‍♀️ 

The Marathon—fasting June 1-September 1 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️

The thing is, while I love following so many of your beautiful profiles (especially those of you who write for the glory of God) the truth is, you’re not the reason I’m going. It’s everything else.

I’ve found that my soul needs breaks from scrolling, from information, from watching, and from the many voices and opinions, and the idolatry that I’m so prone to adore and replicate.

Summer has become for me, a beautiful growing time. A quiet time, and a hidden time. 

If you choose to do one of these fasts—you will miss out. You will miss out on the happenings in the Christian world, you will miss out on being seen, you will miss out on the latest controversy, and the latest debate. 

But what you will gain, is so much more. 

For you will discover the forgotten beauty of the secret place.🌿

This summer, let your greatest ambition to be this: to know Him.

Nothing could be more freeing.
Nothing could be more fruitful.

Abide in him, and he will abide in you. He is the vine, and you are the branches and apart from him, we can do nothing. 

It’s a practical move this fast. It feels like pruning shears. But he only prunes, to make us more fruitful. 

This is my last night here for a while. 

I just felt prompted to invite you on this adventure, too.🌿
I won’t see you, but God will see you. And that’s all that really matters.

The link in my bio will explain everything about how the fast works.

If you do need to get in touch, you can email me at barrentobeautifulblog@gmail.com

Happy summer!🌿

Photo cred: My daughter when we visited the @wildandfree.co Forest Cabin 2 summers ago 🌿
Early on in my writing for #ttc women, I realized Early on in my writing for #ttc women, I realized my blog posts were not enough. These grieving women needed more than a blog post, or a Facebook comment. The women with empty wombs and longing hearts—needed something to hold in their hands. 
Hope. 
They needed the hope of Christ.

I’m delighted to say my dear friends @jennmhesse and @kelramsey at @waiting.in.hope Infertility Ministry have brought this hope to bear in their new book, “Waiting in Hope.”

This is the book I would have read from the bathroom floor on the nights I wept for a baby and God felt so silent and far away. This was the book I wished I had walking the lonely journey of infertility—too ashamed to ask for help, or even prayer. 

If you are a woman #ttc let this book be the gift you buy yourself for this Mother’s Day. 

Like two, gentle loving sisters who have walked this path, Jen and Kelly will lead you to wait in Hope—for the One who himself is Hope.

He sees you. He hears you. 
And you are not alone. 
Not anymore. 

There is a beautiful community of women, full of faith, compassion, and hope that long to come around you at @waiting.in.hope . 

But you can start here, by reading these 31 reflections for walking with God through infertility. You will be so glad you did. I promise.

**a few notes about these pictures.
I wanted this book with my tulips because I have to wait so long through the winter for them to grow. They are to me, the symbol of hope each spring.🌷

Second, to get the book to lay flat, in pic #5 I had to open my hand. And it reminded me, of how infertility was a season of unclenching my fists, and opening my hands in faith and surrender and worship. Open hands are also the only posture for receiving. And I pray this book opens yours.

May this book bless you and infuse you with real, living, tangible hope. Which is, the hope of Jesus. 🌿

Purchase at 
@waiting.in.hope and follow this amazing community of support! #ttc #infertility #infertilityawareness #hope
Ah, the words I most needed to hear this morning—once again—come from God’s Word through the prophet Isaiah! A woe to those who are tempted to trust in FLESH and not SPIRIT. (That’s me!) And a call to return to the Lord, the Holy One of Israel. For he, too, is “wise and brings disaster.” 

I love what Alec Motyer writes in his commentary—which has counseled my heart so many mornings, but especially this one:
“The Lord never merely reacts to events as if sprung on him. He has prepared all beforehand is totally master of the situation.”

I encourage you to read Isaiah 31, and see Motyer’s notes here. See if your heart does tremble at the Holy One of Israel. See with what piercing accuracy the word of God penetrates your heart. 

And his final note—the blood of the lamb did not seem like enough for the Angel of death to pass over—but it was. His ways are higher than our ways, his thoughts are higher than our thoughts.

Whatever God says, is true, and right. He alone is God—He is totally master of the situation. More than we could ever know or understand. He is worthy of all trust, all praise, all worship. I remind you, as I remind myself:
Do not rely on the flesh, for what only the Spirit of God can do. 💛
💛 💛
“I invited you, but you did not come.” It see “I invited you, but you did not come.”

It seems like a love letter, sometimes, this book, raw, aching words—though they come from God. What we see here is an invitation and a reproof. I imagine it almost like getting a beautiful wedding invitation, saying “this is what we could have had,” but then at the bottom are the painful words, “…but you were unwilling.” 

You refused to trust me, you refused to come after me, and you frantically panicked and went after other gods—who cannot save you. 

I don’t mean to add anything that’s not there, just pondering this one line out of the whole chapter 30 of Isaiah. I’ve wanted to write this verse at the end of cards and letters, “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength…” and just end it there. Except I cannot edit out the very heart of God to fit my nice letter of comfort. The reproof is attached, “But you were unwilling.” These words pierce my heart. 

And I only share them to marvel at the heart of God. To allow His words to be wielded, to let them pierce our hearts. Nothing is sharper than the word of God. And it is good to ponder His word—even when it brings a sorrow, it is a godly sorrow that leads to repentance. It stings sometimes, but we must read the whole counsel of God. We must not gut it of the difficult parts. For in it, God’s heart is exposed to us—and it’s a heart so loving as we’ve never seen in anyone on earth. (Except, in the person of Jesus Christ!) 

Shortly after this, the Lord calls his people back, so tenderly it brings me to tears. What kind of love is this? What kind of God is this? Surely one who is worthy of our whole hearts, and whole lives, and ALL of our trust. 

Let us stay close to His Word, that we may know his heart. Nothing is more piercing or precise for today. He knew what He was doing when He breathed out these living words. We need them. They are life to us—for they lead to HIM. That we may know HIM as He is, and not merely as we think Him to be. 🧡 He is more wonderful than I ever thought, and still far greater than I know. I cannot probe the depths of His heart, and yet, through His word and Spirit, He probes the depths of mine.
Oh, listen to what God says in Isaiah 51:5-6! 
💛 

Lift up your eyes…

“…but my salvation will be forever, 
and my righteousness will never be dismayed.”
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