I remember feeling like I was waiting for life to start. Like it couldn’t start–until I saw those two blue lines on the pregnancy test.
What I didn’t realize, what I had become blind to, is that…
it already had.
This was the life God had given me. Whether it involved babies, or not.
Sometimes, when you want something so badly, it can make you become blind to the things that God has already put right in front of you.
It wasn’t wrong to desire a baby–God sympathizes with the barren woman all throughout Scripture. He speaks tenderly to her, comforts her, validates her, and speaks of her preciousness to Him. (See Isaiah 54.)
Still, barren women can become blind. And I had become blind.
All I saw was what my life was lacking–not what God had already given me.
Not the people God had already placed in my life for me to love.
One day, while I was praying for a baby, God whispered to my spirit,
“How well are you loving the people I have already given you?”
I thought of my husband.
He was whispering,
“How well are you doing with the things I have already placed in your life?”
It wasn’t that He was trying to get me to “do better,” or “love better” as a prerequisite for giving me a baby. (He doesn’t work like that.) Instead, He simply wanted to open my eyes–to what He already put in my life. He wanted to open my eyes to the beauty He already placed all around me.
(Pause right now, and think of all the beauty, all the beautiful people, He has already placed in your life.)
I had no idea what He would do.
All I knew was what He had already done in my life.
And this. THIS is where the power was. To stop and thank Him for what He had already done.
Looking not to what I did “not yet” have. But looking to what He had already given me.
This is where the power is. This is where the JOY is.
Throwing off all those whispers of Satan–who says,
“You don’t have this,”
“You’re not this…”
“You’ll never be this…”
“You’ll never have this..”
Satan is always trying to make us forget the power and beauty already at work through Jesus Christ within us. Life begins with Him.
If you are waiting for a baby today–you don’t have to wait for pregnancy, or adoption for life to start.
Dear one, it already has.
Right now, today, God has placed you EXACTLY where you are supposed to be.
He has gifted you EXACTLY the way He has desired.
He even formed your body EXACTLY how He intended.
He delights in you, rejoices over you, sings over you…
And He will fulfill His purpose for you. (Psalm 138:8)
He will not forsake the work of His hands.
Motherhood is a beautiful calling, but it’s not the only one.
It’s not the only calling.
It’s not the only place where beauty lives. Beauty lives anywhere God is.
And God is everywhere.
Sometimes we make so much of motherhood, we forget to honor the other callings of women. Which are just as important in the Kingdom of God.
As wonderful as motherhood is, mothers are not the crown of creation.
Children and husbands are wonderful gifts to be cherished and loved, but they are not the crown of creation.
Jesus is the ONLY ONE who can satisfy our souls, in the way we crave to be satisfied, day after day, and hour after hour. Because He is the only KING. The ONLY one.
“Whether we have children or simply hope to, children are not the fulfillment of our identities, and they should never be asked to bear that weight. The Christian identity can stand on no person–spouse or child–but on Jesus Christ alone.”
–Sharon Hodde Miller, Free of Me
You may be called to motherhood. Or, you may be called to something else. Whatever He calls you to, He will equip you for, and bring His glory and light through you. And if you are not called to motherhood, and called to something else–it’s not a “lesser” calling in the Kingdom of God.
You are not any less of a woman of God. You are not any less of a wife. You are deeply and profoundly loved by God, and set apart for His glory on this earth.
I don’t know about you–but some of the women in my life who are “not moms,” (my single friends, my friends that are married, but never had kids, my aunts that never married, or had kids) they are some of my favorite people on earth.
Let me just talk about this kind of woman. No, for whatever reason, she never had kids.
But her laughter–could light up the coldest of rooms on the darkest of nights. I mean that.
Her joy is like a spark–that starts a fire, not the burning kind, but the warming kind, you feel it from your head all the way down to your toes. (Her laugh is contagious, like scientifically contagious.) And though she’s never been a “mom,” she knows how to love. Fiercely, compassionately, and tenderly. With every fiber in her being. She celebrates your victories, mourns your losses, and somehow shows up (with take-out, and party supplies) to cheer you on–your whole life. She’s the aunt that was there at your kindergarten play, and your bridal shower, and somehow now is rocking your baby and playing peek-a-boo with him–the way she did once with you when you were a baby. And looking back–you can’t even imagine your life without her. Because she loved you, completely–with the life that was given to her. She gave it all away. Dumped it out like a big bottle of champagne, letting it spill all over.
She taught you to dance in the rain.
She told you, you were beautiful in that dress when you were 13, and feeling awkward, and you believed her.
This kind of woman–who never had a child–is still a life-giver.
You do not need to be a mom, to be a life-giver.
A woman like this, fuels her world, her people, her workplace, her atmosphere with LIFE.
Because, you don’t need to push out a baby to be a life-giver. (You just don’t.)
Because life is bigger than flesh and bone. And the Spirit gives life.
You become a “life-giver” the moment you are connected to the Life-Giver, Jesus, and share that life with others. You only produce “fruit,” lasting fruit, when you are connected to the Vine. (See John 15.) And when you are connected to Him–JOY inevitably flows out of you. And life.
And you become the kind of person people want to be around. (Especially when you bring the take-out and party supplies.;)
Motherhood is a beautiful calling,
but it is not the only one.
We have a big world. And we need moms. But we also need aunts, and sisters, and friends, and women who will embrace us on our worst day, with a big bear-hug, even though she isn’t our mom, or even related to us.
We need life-givers. All kinds.
And if you just aren’t sure, if you’ll ever be a “mom,” I want you to know, no matter what: He has an adventure for you. He has a plan for you. It may be more wild than you ever dared to imagine. Or, it may be more simple. But, does it matter? As long as He is there?
So, just turn your face, towards the Life-Giver. Turn your face, towards His wind, towards His Spirit, until you feel His breath again.
Motherhood is not the adventure.
He is the adventure.
He is the way, and the truth, and the Life.
He is the Life-
And all of life is found in Him.
So, look up, dear one. An adventure is waiting. Do you feel the wind blowing? Do do you feel His whisper calling?
For this is true:
“You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Psalm 16:11 ESV
So, go, wherever He sends you. And be the life-giver He made you to be.
Photo Credit: Ivana Cujina – Unsplash