I didn’t give my daughter an Easter basket this year. Instead, I gave her a waste-basket. Why? Because late last night, she woke up puking. Our night was filled with trips to the bathroom, loads of laundry and cleaning up puke.
Not the Easter I had imagined this year. Her pretty turquoise dress hung on her doorknob in the dark as she and I lay in her bed. I pulled her against my chest and took in the scent of throw up in her hair as we drifted off to sleep together.
This morning, as we lay tangled together on top of sheets and towels, she began to stir. My eyes fluttered open and I helped cover her again with blankets and stroked her face to help her fall back asleep. My heart ached for my poor two-year-old who would not get to wear her pretty dress today, or have any candy, or see any cousins or grandparents. But as we lie there together, my eyes met her big blue ones, and she smiled at me, the blankets half covering her face. Then she said in a groggy, tiny voice, “This is so fun.” I smiled wide at her.
This is so fun.
I’m sometimes taken aback by her innocence. How she lives without expectations or demands. How she finds joy in the most unlikely of places. And calls me into it.
Our morning was spent at home together. All of our big plans, flushed down the toilet. With the puke. Instead of a big Easter brunch at my mom’s, we feasted on Saltines and Pedialyte. Instead of getting all gussied up in our Easter best, I stayed in my sweats, and she in her footie-pajamas. Instead of attending a nice church service, we laid on the couch wrapped in a cocoon of blankets and watched cartoons.
And we looked…just terrible. She had a fro in the back that wasn’t going to calm down easily. Along with the dried puke. As I took her to the tub, and began to fill it with hot soapy water, I was halted by a glimpse of myself in the mirror. And…wow.
Need I say more?
Tonight, as I scroll through the news feeds of everyone in their Easter best, I realize how bad we look here at our house. In Easter’s past, we have tried to look pretty, and hopefully next year’s Easter, we will look slightly better than we do right now.
But if not, it’s okay. Because as I sit here, with a wild bun on my head and no make-up. I’m reminded that Easter is not about how good we look. It’s about how good our God looks. It’s about Christ.
It’s not about making much of ourselves. It’s about making much of Him. It’s not about gazing at ourselves in the mirror. It’s about gazing at Him. If our Easter best looks pretty bad, it doesn’t really matter at all. Not even a little bit.
What matters today, and every day, is that, Christ looks good. Because He is good. And He is alive. And He is here. And He is so much bigger than Easter. Because He really did destroy the powers of darkness, and triumphed over them, making a spectacle of them. And He did pour out His blood, He did make a way, for us to obtain salvation. Even in our ugliness. Even in our wickedness. And whether in pretty Easter dresses, or rags…He came to those who were far off, and called them close. And called them His children. He rescued us from eternal death.
So He can’t just be hard-boiled and decorated the way we want. Because there’s a live chick in that egg.
And He’s alive. And He’s going to crack the sky when He comes back. And His name is Jesus.
And He is beautiful. And holy. And mighty. And He made a way for the ones covered in puke. And sin. He washes us. He restores us. And He clothes us in robes of righteousness. For His name sake.
“So, I’m sorry Lord for the thing I’ve made it, when it’s all about You. It’s all about You, Jesus.” –Heart of Worship
Like I said, our Easter best is lookin’ pretty bad this year. But it doesn’t matter. Because He is alive. And He is looking more radiant and beautiful than ever.
Oh my goodness! The truths we can hit on in unexpected circumstances! No matter what our day brings, He is so good! Thanks again for keeping it so real! Prayers for swift recovery!
PS Looove Heart of Worship. Never fails to draw me in and cause me to tear up.
PPS I think ya’ll look rather cute with the fro and the messy bun!
Lol! You are too kind:) Somehow through the chaos and seemingly ugly moments, He speaks the most! And thank you, my girl is doing all better now! 🙂
Diane Archabald says
I think you never look better then the reflection you see in your daughters eyes. Happy Easter He is alive ! <3 Love you guys
Awe! That is the sweetest thing I have ever heard. I love that! I will try to remember that on the days of sweatpants and messy buns. 😉
WALT and JANE MATTHEWS says
Wow!!! This is powerful, Thank you.
Date: Sun, 5 Apr 2015 20:52:06 +0000 To: [email protected]
Walt and Jane,
Thank you so much for reading. And I’m so glad God spoke to you through it. What better place to look this Easter season, than to Him. 🙂
Stumbled upon your blog and really enjoyed this post.
The hard hitting truth about not making Easter a spectacular all about us, (though I love a new dress as much as the next girl).
Your little ones comment of “this is so fun” was such a sweet story, one I am sure you will always remember.
Hey, so glad you stopped over! Yeah, it was a sad day for us all..but it was a good reminder that it really isn’t about us looking good, it’s about Him looking good. I hope I can keep this perspective, and keep my eyes on Him. By the way, did you happen find me at Emily’s site? Because, if you are the same Leah who commented there, I loved your comment and the Madeline L’Engle quote. I actually have never read any of her work, do remember what the quote was from? If not no worries;)