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Barren to Beautiful

The Day She Stopped Hearing His Lies

Growing in God

19 May

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It was just an ordinary day, she stood in the kitchen, at the sink…when he came in. The Voice of Despair. She didn’t notice at first, but soon could feel his darkness enter the room. It started with a thought, as small as a seed, he planted in her mind. And the seed took root into fear. Vivid pictures flashed through her mind, her worst nightmares playing like movie screens. It wasn’t even 8 a.m. yet, and she already felt it. The panic. The despair. The horrible feeling that things would never, could never…change. Her hope had already fallen down around her ankles. 

It was like she couldn’t take her mind off it. The fear. It just kept playing in her head over and over–like she was strapped in a chair of the movie theater. These awful images. Some real, some imagined. He kept taunting and tormenting, “You know it will never change,” he said. She tried to shake her head. “You know I will always be able to find you here.” She began to hang her head in defeat. “I know your weakness. I know I can always paralyze you…with this, however far you go, however high you climb, however much you heal…I know how to get to you. Sorry, darling, you’re mine.” 

She squinted her eyes closed, as the theater played on, trying hard not to watch, her chin tucked to her chest. And as the tears streamed down, and the mascara ran, she suddenly thought of Him: Jesus. The One who could rescue her. The dark voice tried to shake her, “Stay with me, I’m talking to you!” He threatened. “If you don’t listen to me, I will make sure it happens! Your nightmares–I’ll make them come true if you ignore me! You know if you don’t contemplate your fears–they will happen. And you won’t even see it coming. You won’t be prepared for them when they do!”

But the more she thought of Jesus, the more the dark voice began to fade into the background, and the more her strength began to return to her. She thought only of Jesus riding on His white horse, His fire in His eyes, His sword at His side, her name on His lips. The taunting continued. “No!” she said to the dark voice, “This won’t work on me anymore.” He started to laugh, a deep, terrible, patronizing laugh. “I don’t belong to you,” she said in a firm quiet voice. The dark voice continued, “I think you and I both know about the past…why would the future be any…”

But something changed in her, right then, in that moment. Because she started singing. She started singing so loud in worship to the One who would save her that she could no longer hear the taunting voice, the torment, the pain. Because she was singing too loud. She was singing so loud, and worshiping so passionately, so desperately–she drowned out every other sound. The darkness spoke on, but she could no longer hear it.  

And when she opened her eyes, those horrible, taunting images were no longer on the movie screens. They had all gone white. And now instead, they showed: the One who would rescue her. The One who would shout in the end, when at last He saw her, “Mine! Mine! Mine! This one is mine!” The One who would take her to the place where there would be no more sickness, and pain, and sin. No more heartache, and taunting fears, and betrayal, and wounds. No more perversity or darkness. But all would be right and new and holy. And this place would be the place she had been longing to go her entire life, but didn’t know it. And this place was Home. 

And there He, her Savior, would wash her with His blood, and cleanse her with pure water, and clothe her with His righteousness. And then He would sit with her, for a very long time, and with a slow and gentle hand, brush away every single tear from her eyes that she ever cried. And kiss away her pain. He would become the balm for every wound. And she would fall at His feet in worship. And she would cry out, “Worthy!” She would cry out, “Jesus!” as hot and happy tears fall. “You are so much better than they said you’d be!” And she would cry, “You are worth it! You were so worth it! You were worth every hardship I endured! You were worth every heartache I lived through. And just to see Your face is enough. Just to feel your touch has healed every wound a thousand times over, so I am like new, I’m like a child. And just to feel your embrace, and at last, to hear your laugh. You’re real, actual laugh, has reached down and warmed and thawed every part of my heart, for there is no one like You. In all the earth. And for every tear of pain I cried on earth, now flow a thousand happy tears. And laughter. For You are the Beauty I always longed for, the Voice that was always calling, the One whom I have hungered and thirsted after, and I did not know you loved me…like this.” 

Dear Daughters (& Sons) of God,

It’s time to push back the darkness. We were not meant to live bound, but free. And we were not given a spirit of fear. But a spirit of love, and of power, and of a sound mind. (2 Tim. 1:7) It is so easy to tremble at the darkness. It is easy to let it’s whispers take us over. It is easy to let our minds spiral down. For anxiety to come. For panic to ensue. But we were made for more.

Chances are you know by now, what Satan whispers that disarms you every time. What he says that torments your mind, and destroys your peace. But whatever that fear, however heinous or grievous, I want to tell you something: Jesus isn’t afraid of it. 

Not at all. Not even a little bit. He’s not in heaven wringing his hands, or furrowing His brow thinking, “I hope that never happens!” Because nothing happens without His permission. And nothing happens that is not for His greatest glory, and our greatest joy. And He’s got you. 

Right now, today, at this moment, the God of the universe is at total peace. Do you know why? Because He is in charge. He calls the shots. He holds the power. He holds the power to life and to death—and nothing, I mean NOTHING, can separate us from Him, and His love. (Romans 8:38-39)

Let today be the day that His perfect love CASTS OUT your fear. (1 John 4:18) Whatever it is. However big, or monstrous. Let today be the day you STOP LISTENING to Satan’s lies. Because that’s what they are, lies. He wants to steal your peace, and destroy your hope.

But I am here to tell you: Jesus Christ is your hope. You have hope and He is alive, He is powerful, He is coming, and He is a force that cannot be reckoned with. 

So trust Him.

Let His Word, and His promises play on the screens of your mind. Only think about “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable.” (Phil. 4:8) And sing to Him, worship Him, not just for what He has done, but for what He is going to do. Because you can’t hear the lies if you’re singing too loud, and you can’t feel the torment if you are lost in the joy of His Presence. 

I believe that someone reading this has forgotten they have hope. Someone feels afraid. Terrified even. Paralyzed by the same fear, again and again. Who feels like things will never change. Like God cannot push through. Like God is able to redeem every situation…except theirs. 

I want you to know: you have hope. He is coming to redeem your situation. You have the Light of the World fighting for you. And the battle isn’t over yet. Satan will be defeated underneath your feet. 

We have the power to decide what plays on the movie theaters of our minds, because we have the power to “Destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5

As John Piper says, we need to “sever the root of sin’s promise, by the power of a superior promise.” And that promise is the promise of the Living God. Who fights for us. Who lives in us. Who gives us peace. Who overcomes the world. And every stronghold. And every temptation. So that in the end you can say, “But He knows the way that I take; when He has tried me, I shall come forth as gold. My foot has held fast to His steps; I have kept His way and have not turned aside.” Job 23:10-11 

Because the power of God is greater than the power of sin. And He trembles at nothing. He only ever triumphs. “Having disarmed the powers and authorities, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.” Colossians 2:15

He is coming to rescue you. He is coming to drench you with His grace like a summer downpour. He is coming to plunge you into His oceans of mercy. He is coming to silence those whispers. He is coming like a tiny spark in the darkness, growing steadier and brighter, like the breaking forth of dawn, who is coming to save you with the armies of Heaven riding behind Him. And nothing in all creation will stop Him. 

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11 Comments

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Comments

  1. carlamclemore says

    May 20, 2015 at 5:18 am

    THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!! May God bless you for speaking the truth. Your words came right on time for me. 

    Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

    From:”Barren to Beautiful” Date:Tue, May 19, 2015 at 3:55 PM Subject:[New post] The Day She Stopped Hearing His Lies

    Rebekah posted: ”   It was just an ordinary day, she stood in the kitchen, at the sink…when he came in. The Voice of Despair. She didn’t notice at first, but soon could feel his darkness enter the room. It started with a thought, as small as a seed, he planted”

    Reply
  2. Rachel Riebe says

    May 20, 2015 at 11:57 am

    How often we need to see Jesus as our strong arm, our defender. Thank you for this beautiful word picture, Rebekah.

    Reply
  3. Heather Duke says

    May 20, 2015 at 4:29 pm

    I am walking out my faith minute by minute these days. Holding fast to each of Gods promises. I will continue to weather the storm. Thank you for summarizing the struggle so eloquintley. Worship wins the war!

    Reply
  4. Lauren says

    May 20, 2015 at 6:29 pm

    Wow. I stumbled across your blog last week, and all I can say is THANK. YOU. For sharing your story…and everything He puts on your heart. My husband and I are walking through a similar season of barrenness (while still holding onto hope and a breakthrough and future children), and God has used you to breathe fresh hope to my soul. You truly have a gift…keep doing what you do. Thank you.

    Reply
  5. Michelle says

    May 21, 2015 at 2:38 am

    Amen and amen!!! Thank you for speaking the truth so powerfully! It is the truth that sets us FREE!! Thank you for being His vessel. 🙂

    Reply
  6. Lisa says

    May 22, 2015 at 8:21 pm

    This has to be one of the most powerful posts I have ever read my friend. Your words and His truth hit every chord inside of me. I’m moved. I’m moved to worship and praise. I’m moved to prayer. I’m empowered. Hi love is amazing!!!!

    Reply
    • Rebekah says

      May 23, 2015 at 1:54 am

      Lisa,
      I am so humbled you feel this way, and it just makes even more in awe of God–because He totally put this on my heart this week. I had a totally different post almost ready to go out…but then this happened. I need to remember what was true and worship louder than the lies coming against me. Thanks for reading and may God empower you to hear His voice above every other!
      🙂
      <3 Rebekah

      Reply
      • Lisa says

        May 23, 2015 at 5:46 am

        Thank You!!!

        Reply
  7. Paige says

    November 25, 2015 at 4:33 am

    Oh this is so wonderful. Exactly what I needed to read! It’s like God meant it just for me. Thank you! Thank you!

    Reply
    • Rebekah says

      December 4, 2015 at 2:56 am

      Paige,
      Sorry for my delay, but I am so happy that God spoke to you through this. It’s a battle I face daily–if I will hear the lies and whispers of darkness, or the voice of His Spirit. And how those dark whispers bring death and despair! But how His Spirit gives life! I pray this life fills you up sister! And that you will grow more and more bold in dismissing the lies–and embracing the Truth, embracing the Person, of Jesus Christ.
      Much love Paige,
      Rebekah

      Reply

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Hi, I’m Rebekah Fox.

I was once a barren woman. I had a barren womb, and a very barren soul. But God saw me in my barrenness--and He delivered me. Not only of a barren womb, but a barren soul, too. He opened my eyes to His beauty all around me. And every day, I need Him to do it again, in my heart, and in my spirit. To take me from Barren to Beautiful. Because I am weak, and broken, and sinful, but He--He is beautiful. If the Spirit has led you here, perhaps He wants to take your barrenness away--and birth something more beautiful than you ever imagined.

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