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Get My FREE Gratitude Journal: Blooms in the Desert

Blooms in the Desert· Infertility

13 Nov

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Blooms in the Desert Gratitude Journal

I remember staring at the dining room table. and I didn’t want to say the words. I didn’t even want to write the words. A notebook lay open next to me, and my hand trembled.

But that day, the Holy Spirit had spoken to me. He had told me that He didn’t want me to simply “accept” God’s plan for my life–He wanted me to thank Him for it. But it hurt. There was a sharp pain when I thought about His plan (so far) was that I couldn’t get pregnant, and maybe, I would never have kids? Thank Him for that? For this? This life that didn’t have the baby I was praying for? This life that was just a big empty wasteland of broken dreams, and dissapointments? This life where it seemed everyone had what they wanted–but me? This life that had become an empty barren desert where nothing ever grew?

Or, was it?

That day, was the day everything changed. Because, it was the day the Lord showed me, He didn’t want me to simply “tolerate” His plan for my life, He wanted me to embrace it.

He didn’t want me to simply “tolerate” His plan for my life, He wanted me to embrace it.

And I knew, to do this, I needed to thank Him. For what He was doing. For what He was allowing. For what He had given me.

The words, “Thank you,” seemed impossible.

I didn’t want to say them. I know I didn’t mean them. But I said them.

I literally forced them out like baby birds who didn’t want to leave the nest, but somehow in the air, they learned to fly.

I remember writing them in that flimsy notebook in pen,

“Thank you, God, for this infertility.”

It seemed crazy. But this was how I embraced it. With both arms.

My heart burned, as I stared at the words. Tears blurred my view.

But then I began writing. Feverishly.

I wrote down everything “good” I could think of about not being able to get pregnant.

“Thank you God, that I don’t have to experience morning sickness..”

“Or put on baby weight…”

“Or go through painful labor…”

“Thank you that I don’t have to get a flabby stomach, or flabby arms, or vericose veins that run in my family (all due to pregnancy)..”

(The things I wrote that day, I wish I had a picture of to show you. Because yes, they were vain, and laughable…yet strangely, sincere. And I meant them. And that’s all that matters in this kind of work.)

As surface level as my list was, it was the very first time I ever thanked God for anything in the midst of my infertility. It was the first time I ever looked for anything good about my infertility And it was the beginning of something. It was the beginning of a breakthrough to joy.

There was nothing magical about the words I said, and certainly nothing eloquent, or praise-worthy. (I mean, who thanks God for not having vericose veins? Yeah, I’m that girl.)

And yet, it was a completely new experience for me, and it began to transform me.

In that desert place of longing, and waiting, and searching for answers to just stop and say,

“Thank you God. Thank you God, for this, right here.” 

It was the beginning of seeing something I had never seen before.

Because, I had thought my life was empty, and bare, and meaningless. But gratitude opened my eyes to see a thousand gifts He had already surrounded me with.

And the more I chose to thank God for little things in my life, (like time with my husband, and being able to sleep through the night)–the more gifts I discovered. As I thanked God for one thing, He’d just remind me of another, and another and, my list just kept growing, because my eyes kept opening wider, and wider. Soon I was thanking God for all kinds of things I had never even thought about before.

And I began marveling at His goodness in my life, and seeing that my life was not the empty wasteland I imagined it to be. Rather, my life was full, and beautiful, and bursting with purpose. And finally I could see–His beauty was surrounding me–already. In a thousand little ways.

These were the blooms in the desert. 

The beauty of God, emerging and bursting forth where you do not expect it. But there it is. 

Isaiah 35:1-2a says,

“The desert and the parched land will be glad; the wilderness will rejoice and blossom.
Like the crocus, it will burst into bloom;
it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy.”

It will burst into bloom.

It will rejoice greatly, and shout for joy. 

As you know, the journey of infertility is often refered to as the “wilderness.” And there’s a reason for that–because it really does feel like you are wandering around aimlessly in a hot desert place, with no clear path to follow, or way out. But what if, rather than cursing the ground on which we walk, we began to look for the beauty? We began to notice the little blooms? We began to see God?

I believe that gratitude opens our eyes.

Breathing out thanks to God is the wind before the rain.

The rain that will come and quench our barren souls.

Saying “Thank you,” is so simple, and yet so hard.

And we absolutely need the Holy Spirit to help us to do this. To help us, “..give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:8)

That’s why I’ve created this FREE Gratitude Journal for you to download and start today! It’s called, “Blooms in the Desert: A gratitude journal to help you find the beauty of God right where you are.” It’s a simple way to begin the practice of thanking God for the little things in your life–especially if you are in a difficult season, and aren’t sure how to start.

If you’re like me, I plan to be thankful in my mind. But often stress, anxiety and busyness cloud my mind like a heavy weight. Pausing to jot down just one or two things I am thanking God for “today,” even if it’s my favorite coffee creamer, or new socks, or feeling a gentle breeze on my skin, actually grounds me and helps me see the good gifts God has given me. Practicing this gratitude in the “little” areas, prepares my heart to trust God in the “bigger” areas, like my health, or relationships, or actual fears I have.

Psalm 46 says that God is an “ever-present help in times of trouble.” While that’s true, writing down a gratitude list helps me actually see and feel and believe that He is near. And I want you to experience His nearness this way.

In this download, you will recieve a note called “Choosig to See the Beauty,” a prayer called, “A Prayer to See,” 3 journal pages, and 2 printable Scriptures, which are all black and white and printer friendly! Fill out the form below to get yours today!

Get Your Free Gratitude Journal!

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Just fill out the form above, and you will recieve an email with downloads for this gratitude journal “Blooms in the Desert,” and also my infertility devotional “Watered in the Wilderness.” (Be sure to check your “Promotions” folder if you don’t see it!) If you have any issues, you can also sign up here.

My prayer is that the Spirit of God will rest on you, and that He will open your eyes to see the beauty of God which surrounds you–right where you are. Today. 

May you discover the blooms in the desert.

May you burst into bloom, and shout for joy.

For wherever God is,  there is beauty, and there is life.

And He is here.

Love,

Rebekah


Join our Barren to Beautiful Community Facebook Group as we begin to go through this gratitude journal together! (For women only.) There is also a giveaway happening for all who participate in this gratitude challenge!

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Hi, I’m Rebekah Fox.

I was once a barren woman. I had a barren womb, and a very barren soul. But God saw me in my barrenness--and He delivered me. Not only of a barren womb, but a barren soul, too. He opened my eyes to His beauty all around me. And every day, I need Him to do it again, in my heart, and in my spirit. To take me from Barren to Beautiful. Because I am weak, and broken, and sinful, but He--He is beautiful. If the Spirit has led you here, perhaps He wants to take your barrenness away--and birth something more beautiful than you ever imagined.

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Rebekah Fox

barrentobeautiful

I help women struggling with infertility to hope in Christ and allow Him to transform them from barren to beautiful—on the inside. 🌸

You’re invited 🌿 The past 3 summers I’ve i You’re invited 🌿

The past 3 summers I’ve invited my readers and friends to join me in a social media fast—

and it has been extremely restorative and fruitful. 

I want to invite you to join me for this, because I have experienced how freeing this has been. It begins on June 1, but you could join whenever you are reading this.:)

There are two choices:
The Sprint—fasting June 1-July 1 🏃🏻‍♀️ 

The Marathon—fasting June 1-September 1 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️

The thing is, while I love following so many of your beautiful profiles (especially those of you who write for the glory of God) the truth is, you’re not the reason I’m going. It’s everything else.

I’ve found that my soul needs breaks from scrolling, from information, from watching, and from the many voices and opinions, and the idolatry that I’m so prone to adore and replicate.

Summer has become for me, a beautiful growing time. A quiet time, and a hidden time. 

If you choose to do one of these fasts—you will miss out. You will miss out on the happenings in the Christian world, you will miss out on being seen, you will miss out on the latest controversy, and the latest debate. 

But what you will gain, is so much more. 

For you will discover the forgotten beauty of the secret place.🌿

This summer, let your greatest ambition to be this: to know Him.

Nothing could be more freeing.
Nothing could be more fruitful.

Abide in him, and he will abide in you. He is the vine, and you are the branches and apart from him, we can do nothing. 

It’s a practical move this fast. It feels like pruning shears. But he only prunes, to make us more fruitful. 

This is my last night here for a while. 

I just felt prompted to invite you on this adventure, too.🌿
I won’t see you, but God will see you. And that’s all that really matters.

The link in my bio will explain everything about how the fast works.

If you do need to get in touch, you can email me at barrentobeautifulblog@gmail.com

Happy summer!🌿

Photo cred: My daughter when we visited the @wildandfree.co Forest Cabin 2 summers ago 🌿
Early on in my writing for #ttc women, I realized Early on in my writing for #ttc women, I realized my blog posts were not enough. These grieving women needed more than a blog post, or a Facebook comment. The women with empty wombs and longing hearts—needed something to hold in their hands. 
Hope. 
They needed the hope of Christ.

I’m delighted to say my dear friends @jennmhesse and @kelramsey at @waiting.in.hope Infertility Ministry have brought this hope to bear in their new book, “Waiting in Hope.”

This is the book I would have read from the bathroom floor on the nights I wept for a baby and God felt so silent and far away. This was the book I wished I had walking the lonely journey of infertility—too ashamed to ask for help, or even prayer. 

If you are a woman #ttc let this book be the gift you buy yourself for this Mother’s Day. 

Like two, gentle loving sisters who have walked this path, Jen and Kelly will lead you to wait in Hope—for the One who himself is Hope.

He sees you. He hears you. 
And you are not alone. 
Not anymore. 

There is a beautiful community of women, full of faith, compassion, and hope that long to come around you at @waiting.in.hope . 

But you can start here, by reading these 31 reflections for walking with God through infertility. You will be so glad you did. I promise.

**a few notes about these pictures.
I wanted this book with my tulips because I have to wait so long through the winter for them to grow. They are to me, the symbol of hope each spring.🌷

Second, to get the book to lay flat, in pic #5 I had to open my hand. And it reminded me, of how infertility was a season of unclenching my fists, and opening my hands in faith and surrender and worship. Open hands are also the only posture for receiving. And I pray this book opens yours.

May this book bless you and infuse you with real, living, tangible hope. Which is, the hope of Jesus. 🌿

Purchase at 
@waiting.in.hope and follow this amazing community of support! #ttc #infertility #infertilityawareness #hope
Ah, the words I most needed to hear this morning—once again—come from God’s Word through the prophet Isaiah! A woe to those who are tempted to trust in FLESH and not SPIRIT. (That’s me!) And a call to return to the Lord, the Holy One of Israel. For he, too, is “wise and brings disaster.” 

I love what Alec Motyer writes in his commentary—which has counseled my heart so many mornings, but especially this one:
“The Lord never merely reacts to events as if sprung on him. He has prepared all beforehand is totally master of the situation.”

I encourage you to read Isaiah 31, and see Motyer’s notes here. See if your heart does tremble at the Holy One of Israel. See with what piercing accuracy the word of God penetrates your heart. 

And his final note—the blood of the lamb did not seem like enough for the Angel of death to pass over—but it was. His ways are higher than our ways, his thoughts are higher than our thoughts.

Whatever God says, is true, and right. He alone is God—He is totally master of the situation. More than we could ever know or understand. He is worthy of all trust, all praise, all worship. I remind you, as I remind myself:
Do not rely on the flesh, for what only the Spirit of God can do. 💛
💛 💛
“I invited you, but you did not come.” It see “I invited you, but you did not come.”

It seems like a love letter, sometimes, this book, raw, aching words—though they come from God. What we see here is an invitation and a reproof. I imagine it almost like getting a beautiful wedding invitation, saying “this is what we could have had,” but then at the bottom are the painful words, “…but you were unwilling.” 

You refused to trust me, you refused to come after me, and you frantically panicked and went after other gods—who cannot save you. 

I don’t mean to add anything that’s not there, just pondering this one line out of the whole chapter 30 of Isaiah. I’ve wanted to write this verse at the end of cards and letters, “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength…” and just end it there. Except I cannot edit out the very heart of God to fit my nice letter of comfort. The reproof is attached, “But you were unwilling.” These words pierce my heart. 

And I only share them to marvel at the heart of God. To allow His words to be wielded, to let them pierce our hearts. Nothing is sharper than the word of God. And it is good to ponder His word—even when it brings a sorrow, it is a godly sorrow that leads to repentance. It stings sometimes, but we must read the whole counsel of God. We must not gut it of the difficult parts. For in it, God’s heart is exposed to us—and it’s a heart so loving as we’ve never seen in anyone on earth. (Except, in the person of Jesus Christ!) 

Shortly after this, the Lord calls his people back, so tenderly it brings me to tears. What kind of love is this? What kind of God is this? Surely one who is worthy of our whole hearts, and whole lives, and ALL of our trust. 

Let us stay close to His Word, that we may know his heart. Nothing is more piercing or precise for today. He knew what He was doing when He breathed out these living words. We need them. They are life to us—for they lead to HIM. That we may know HIM as He is, and not merely as we think Him to be. 🧡 He is more wonderful than I ever thought, and still far greater than I know. I cannot probe the depths of His heart, and yet, through His word and Spirit, He probes the depths of mine.
Oh, listen to what God says in Isaiah 51:5-6! 
💛 

Lift up your eyes…

“…but my salvation will be forever, 
and my righteousness will never be dismayed.”
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